Friday, February 12, 2010

Psst

Word on the street? This is the new place to be:

Http://britunes2.wordpress.com

Check it out.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

You are NOT the Father

This had me in stitches yesterday....

The END of BriTunes?

My dear readers I have some sobering news - BriTunes must come to an end!!!!!!

I know, I know...I'm as disappointed as you are. Long story short (short because it's 8:30 and my ass does not want to be late for work):

We used to be a company. That company went bankrupt and another company bought us out. Since that buy out, we've been working on the old company's computers but with the new company's platform. Recently (Tuesday) they finally migrated the two, and now we're working on the new company's computers with the new company's platform. The only problem?

Blogger is blocked!! So I can view BriTunes at work, but I can't update it at all. I'm still looking at other solutions and currently the best option appears to be heading over to Wordpress.com. The road black I've run into though, is that the name "BriTunes" is not available over there. I bet you anything that mothertrucker Brian Williams has it reserved. So if I do indeed move to Wordpress it looks like BriTunes will be no more. But what name should the blog be? So many questions, so few answers.

My friends and lovahs, its been real - I'll be in touch.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

When You're Feelin' Low...

Just listen to some Beaker.

This Just In...

This just in:

Clementines are DELICIOUS!!!! WHAT? Where did this magical fruit come from?! Better than an orange, this tiny little fruit is something magical. I've been having some major candy cravings lately and in an effort to distract myself from the Mike and Ikes that I know are right around the corner. Anyway, clementines are amazeballs. Look into them.

This just in: Today is four weeks after my surgery and you know what that means.....the sling is off!! Wahoo! I haven't been wearing it the past few days and things have been going okay. It's a weird sensation but I have to get used to it sooner or later. Tonight is my first night of Physical Therapy and I'm nervous, excited, anxious, blah blah blah. Hopefully they'll be gentle.

This just in:



Kendra drives me absolutely crazy. There were pictures circulating yesterday of her crying after the Super Bowl and her excuse was that it was because there were paparazzi getting too close to her. DUDE - YOU ASKED FOR THIS!! It drives me crazy when there are fame hungry celebrities that actually achieve fame and then say "ah! Leave me alone! Give me privacy!" No. Not okay.
This just in:


Bradley Cooper doesn't know how to use self-tanner.

This just in:
Jessica Alba looked AWFUL at last night's "Valentine's Day" premiere. Horrendous!! I'm not a fan of hers in the first place but despite her and Biel's prescences, I shall be seeing "VDay" very soon. I was planning on checking out a screening of it tonight but with Physical Therapy I'm not sure what time I'd finish and don't feel like rushing here and rushing there. So instead I shall partake in Lost and American Idol Hollywood week and it shall be grand.

Another amazing episode of "Drag Race" last night in which they had to take RuPaul barbie dolls and make them over. Here is the end result:

I swear, this is something my sister and I did...um...like every day when she was 5. We made Rent barbies, Clueless barbies...can't you tell it was 1996? My favorite from last night was "SheFreeForAll."


Amazing. This show is genius, people! I do have to say though, there aren't as many "outstanding" personalities as there were last year. Am I alone in thinking this?
Not much else to report today. Supposedly we're getting a LOT of snow in the next day or so....who's up for calling in "snow" tomorrow?!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Weekend Recap

Happy Monday bitches.

I started out my day by listening to Alanis Morissette's "Unplugged."


It is SO hard to believe that this shit is over 10 years old. 10 years!!!! It feels like just yesterday I was sitting in my dorm room in Morgan Hall watching this with Ramsey, Shannon, and DC Doug. So crazy. I was talking with DC Doug the other day about how certain albums bring you right back to a certain time in your life and no matter what, every Alanis album does that for me. I can remember when Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie came out I went to Target right after my morning classes and bought it, ran home, and had it on repeat for a good year. Under Rug Swept is so January of 2002 for me - downloading the songs before anyone else had them and waiting in line for Alanis and Nysnc tickets to see them at the Olympics. 2004 when So-Called Chaos came out it was me living in Salt Lake and watching all 8 hours of her Oxygen special and having Spencer and Lorissa bring me orange juice while I waited over night to meet Alanis...it's pretty special to have an artist who is just a total time machine for you. I j'adore her.

What a weekend!!!!

Friday night Benji's boyfriend and I had a "date" and I was introduced to my new favorite restaurant, Westville. We then attended a game night a Vanessa's house where I, yet again, rocked in Celebrity. I don't know that I've lost a game of Celebrity in the past 20 times I've played - I'm THAT awesome. Friday night was the impending SNOW OF DOOM and we got.....a mere dusting. Seriously. It was melted by Saturday morning. What a letdown.

Saturday afternoon More-O and I treked to CT to attend a wine tasting with his family. It was such a fantastic time and I had a blast "tasting" many, many wines, hanging with More-O and his fam, and singing Billy Joel at the top of our lungs. Won't forget that night any time soon.

Sunday was David's annual Super Bowl party and while I'd heard stories about this epic event, I don't know that I was prepared for the amazingness that I encountered. I was told that we would all be participating in a "Power Hour" before the game started (game? There was a game?) According to Wikipedia.com, a "Power Hour" is is a drinking event where every player drinks one shot of beer every minute.

More-O was quite excited for this.


I however, was a tit bit nervous. Would I be able to complete it? Would I puke? What would happen? Here was the start of the Power Hour:


And, after 60 minutes, many songs ("I AM NOT FROM FRANCE"), and someone spitting his beer up at minute 51 (ahem More-O), Power Hour ended.


And that's only half of the beer bottles/cans.
Seriously, ya'll, I felt like I was birthing an alien baby.


But luckily all the beer stayed in and I wasn't even messy! It was a fantastic evening (apparently the Saints won? Who?) and it was spent with even more fantastic people.


Power Hour = Success!!!

Speaking of success and failure....I came across this today and couldn't stop laughing. A little somethin' somethin' to leave you with.


Oh man...it's too good.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Putting the "X" in X-Men

Let me just put this out there - I don't have a thing for cartoons, I don't get turned on by cartoons and I don't fantasize about cartoons. But come on, haven't you ever looked at a comic book character and thought "ya know, if he was a real live person I bet he'd be kinda hot." Therefore, I (and my boredom) present to you:

The Top 11 X-Men Characters I'd Do it With

#11. Beast

The Beast is hot because of the blue fur and the muscles, obviously. But then you throw in the fact that he's a genius and he get's like, extra hot. But the clean up would just be a disaster with all that hair everywhere and you know you couldn't take him anywhere because people would be staring at his blue ass face. But he'd still be fun for a romp around the block ifyouknowwhatImean.

#10. Banshee
I just wanna see if the carpet matches the drapes. Plus I bet Banshee would be RIL loud in bed. TOO loud.


#9. Cyclops
You know you want to hit it. He's mean, but sensitive. Firm, but sweet. Clean cut, yet you know he can get dirty. If it wasn't for that damn visor. I mean, a guys' eyes are the best part about him!! I don't want to look into no damn gold visor all day long. Plus, you never know where he's looking or if he's rolling his eyes. No bueno.

#8. Angel


Rich? Check. Blonde? Check. Daddy issues? Check. Angel is the shit and a definite catch. The only thing I'm worried about is the wings. Think about it - the wings are probably pretty heavy so he'd want to be on his back. You KNOW he'd make you do all the work.

#7. Gambit
I'm sure it'd be hot and all (no joke) but you know Gambit has the herp. Plus he'd never call you in the morning and I BET he doesn't cuddle.

#6. Captain Britain

One word: ACCENT.


#5. Iceman

He's funny, young, and really cool. Pun intended. Your drink would never go cold if you guys were out at a bar and he'd be awesome to hang with during those warm summer months. You'd have to stop sleeping with him around October though. And there might be some shrinkage involved...actually on second thought...


#4. Havok

Havok is deeply troubled, kind of insane, and full of energy. Totally my type. He's totally the hotter brother, too. Cyclops has got nothin' on him.


#3. Wolverine

Two words: Angry sex.


#2. Colossus

Accent. Done. Giant ass muscles. Done. Artist. Done. Colossus is kind of a catch. I mean sure, he's kind of dumb. And sure you won't be able to understand him all of the time. But no words need to be spoken ifyouknowwhatI'msaying.

#1. Multiple Man


Come on - there' s the possibility of there being more than one people. I mean, you'd be stupid to turn Multiple Man away!! One on one? Done. Threesome? Why not! 9gy? If you say so!! I'm just sayin, it could be ril kinky. You know he's a freak in bed too. With a name like Multiple Man, he's gotta be!

So that's that. And don't go judging me because everytime you see Wolverine you think of Hugh Jackman and everytime you see Gambit you think of Taylor Kitch so I know I'm not alone. I'm merely letting my freak flag fly! "I don't see nothin' wrong....with a little bump and grind.."

Friday Frik Frak

I hate your face.


I honestly don't know what the article is about. All I know is that the subject line includes the words "Kristen Stewart" and "Prostitution" and that's good enough to put a smile on my face. Ugh. She's the pits. She should be called "Kristen St-ew-ert."

In other news, it's FRIDAY!!!!!



For whatever reason, this week has just seemed like the lonnnnnnnngest. I need a good night's sleep so badly. Ever since I had surgery I haven't been able to sleep all the way through the night. I don't know if it's because of my sling or the pain or what but it's ANNOYING. I only have four more days in my sling and "Praise Jesus-ah!!" is all I have to say. Of course, then starts the painful Physical Therapy part, but whatevs. I'm choosing to not think about that. I'm trying to wean myself off of wearing the sling. I didn't wear it when I took the Subway to work this morning and it was so weird. It was like my arm wanted to be in the sling, and it kept tingling. I've got a ways to go before full recovery.


In celebrity news today, Lindsey's still crazy, Brittany Murphy's still dead, and Rihanna's still wearing ugly clothes.


Seriously Princess RiRi, WHAT is that all about?

Thursday, February 4, 2010

THIS is your AmERicAN IDol

So the "Guest Judge" round of American Idol has come and gone and all I can say is Praiiiiiiiise Jesus-ah!!! I've just never been a fan of the auditions (I mean, besides that first year when it was new and everyone thought it was hilarious). I much prefer the meatier Semi-Final Round, Top 12, Hollywood week, etc. With that oh so poignant Paula AbDrool gone this year, they needed someone to fill in that 4th spot (WHY do we have 4 spots again?) Since Ellen hadn't been chosen yet, they picked celebrities and well.....some were of more use than others.


#8. Joe Jonas


Pro:
Teen Throb appeal, ratings booster, short on words
Con: Short on words, thinks he's the shit, EYEBROWS

#7. Kristin Chenoweth


Pro:
Sweet to all the contestants, very gracious, charming, funny
Con: THAT VOICE. That, and she seemed to really bring joy to Kara's life. Can't have that, now can we?


#6. Doogie Howser


Pro:
I mean come on, he's NPH! He can do whatever he want and succeed at it. He has a wide and vast career to glean lessons from and therefore was great at doling out the advice.
Con: Kind of a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz fest.


#5. Avril Lavigne


Pro:
Wasn't afraid to tell it like is.
Con: The sweatshirt and....Avril Lavigne? REALLY? Like, Sk8ter Boy Avril Lavigne? REALLY?


#4. Shania Twain


Pro:
Constructive Critisicm expert, has aged amazingly well over the past ten years
Con: Sexual harassment of some contestants


#3. Mary J. Blige-ah



Pro:
Introduced us to "Pants on the Ground" guy and was really cute when she laughed
Con: There are no cons when it comes to Pants on the Ground guy.


#2. Victoria Beckham


Pro: Looked amazing, was really sweet with all the contestants, gave great advice, got along with the judges, talked a lot, and looked amazing
Con: Starts with C and ends in RUZ BECKHAM.

And my favorite celebrity judge....

#1. Katy Perry


Pro: Seriously, she was the only one who was straight up with EVERYONE, including the judges. She fought with Kara (pro) was sassy (pro) and wasn't afraid of what came out of her mouth (pro). She had personality and was just plain old awesome. Let's get rid of Kara and have Katy be a full-time judge instead!!!
Con: That whole Russell Brand thing....

I can't tell you how excited I am for auditions to be O-V-E-R!! Bring on Hollywood week and bring on the lesbian!!!

Let Me....Bore You.

Remember that one time I saw Celia from Top Model at Toys for Tots?

She found my blog and commented on it.

I mean, how awesome is that?! I wonder if she has a Google alert so any time someone writes the words "Celia, Top Model" it comes up on her radar? I wonder if by writing that it's going to be sent to her. Uh Oh...I better say nice things from now on....Celia rocks! (But Alison for the win).
I got nothin' today. Seriously. You know those days where there's not a lot going on, nothing really in the news, and there's just a lack of inspiration in the air? Yeah, that's me. Let's see if I can make you as bored as I am.
*I went to the dentist yesterday. It was not fun.
*I had soup last night. I wasn't sure if the soup tasted weird because half of my taste buds were numb or because the soup was bad. Jury's still out.
*I got my haircut last night. It's not short enough. I'm so bored with my hairstyle lately but have no motivation to try something else.
*I finally watched last week's "Biggest Loser" and am REALLY happy Migdalia is gone. She was a bitch. Correction: Fat bitch. Seriously, she was almost as awful as Cruz Beckham.
*I ate fries last night. They were good. My grilled chicken wrap was not.
*I am O.V.E.R. the American Idol auditions - bring on Hollywood Week!!
*My morning started out awesome. Noon thirty? Yeah...not s'much.
*I am now going to the gym.
SEE?!!!?? Now you're as bored as I am!!! Wahoo!!!!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Who Dat Be?



Here's a hint: "PRECIOUS!!!"


Oh hell yes you know that's Mo'nique!!!
I've heard the rumor in the past that she doesn't shave her legs but to see it up close and personal...I mean...eeyiiikes! And before you feminist girls (ahem, Amanda) come and yell at me about how it's unrealistic for girls to shave their legs every day and blah blah blah blah blah....might I just remind you that this wasn't Mo' at Costco or gettin' her hair did. Homegirl done be at the GOLDEN GLOBES!! Guess she really took the part of Precious' mom with her... (PRECIOUS!)
As an added gift (or gif, if you will) for those fans of Drag Race, Page Six just sent this to me and I'd like to share with you.


Amazeballs.

WTF??!

OMGay everyone.

Lost. Discuss. Go!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Ease On Down That Road, Bitch

You guys all know my homegirl Allison from "Intervention," right?


"It's like I'm walkin' on Sunshine!!" Sigh. I love her so much. Well, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is - she's clean.

Yup. Off the huff. No longer takin' in the air. No more Intervention specials, no more amazing sound bites, none of it. The GOOD news, however, is that we are treated to one last 'Intervention' special onnnnnnnn...


Huffing! Woo! And you know what that means? An Allison PRETTY PARTY!!!!!!


I'll miss you so much Allison! You've given us so many great times but I wish you the best on your sobriety, I really do! I also hope, one day, to join you in the ranks of "Intervention" alums. Hell, I could go there right now for candy addiction, no joke!!
I heart you Allison and I hope you'll always be WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE!!!

Ru-Cap

Ladies, Gentlemen, Kids of all ages, Trannys, and everything in-between. Welcome to Season2 of RuPaul's Drag Race!!!!!

Last night Benji and I went over to our friend Justin's house to watch with a few queens. Thank goodness Page Six and I had watched the premiere a few weeks ago on a screener because queens like to talk during shows I've discovered.

Upon first glance there aren't as many "stand out" queens as last year. Where are the Ongina's?! The Nina Flowers'? All we have this year is Shangela and this bitch:

Seriously!!! That mouth!!! I mean...I can't even!! Morgan McMicahels is the skanky one, the twink who you know you'd get in a fight with at Axis cause he thinks he's the shit. I guess it's fitting then, that the skinny bitch got in a fight with the fat bitch


on Logo's behind the scenes after show, aptly titled "Untucked." Jesus....those queers and their plays on words.


The first episode was great fun though, and the first challenge was a photo shoot where the ladies had to take pictures based on "Gone With the Wind" which was really just them sitting on a canon while a giant fan tried to blow off their wigs. The final result?



Hilarity.

We were introduced to a Drag Queen named "Jujubee."

My first thought? "Oh Jesus!!! That looks like my sister-in-law!!"

Justine, I'm so, so, sorry. And I think you are much much prettier than a drag queen. BUT C'MON!!!!

They look JUST LIKE each other!!! And not because all Asians look alike, c'mon guys....

Sigh. I'll never be able to look at JuJuBees the same way ever again...