Saturday, August 30, 2008

These Are the Thoughts...

There are five levels to Brian being drunk.

1. Tipsy
2. Silly
3. Fun
4. Angry
5. Sad

The last level is a scary place and not one where you want Brian. It comes with tears, often sobbing, blubbering, and ranting about nothing in particular. Last night we reached level 5. Thankfully, not many people paid notice and went about having a great time. My apologies to whomever I owe a dry cleaning bill to for completely drenching their shirt.

On a much happier note, here are some things I'm looking forward to this week:



I'm wet with anticipation. Or maybe that's just the tears.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Who am I Anyway

It's not a secret that I am vocal about my musical tastes. I love me some Alanis, I love me some Mraz, I love me some musicals. Something I'm not a fan of is country. Oh sure, I'll like a Rascal Flatts song here and a Dixie Chicks song there, and of course everyone loves that "Any man of mine better be proud of me" song but for the most part country is kaka. I'm sorry, it's just the way I feel.

Last night after a few beers with (I have no idea why I just nicknamed him, but it happened) I went home and downloaded Jessica Simpson's new country cd.

The worst part? It done be good, ya'll!!! Sure, all the songs sound EXACTLY the same (f'real, at one point I had to check cause I was all "didn't I already listen to this song?") but the melodies are actually really great and you have to admit that Jessica has a great voice. Plus, she really tones down her whole "oh yeah, ung, la la awhooooo hoo" pop thing that she does with her voice that drives me insane. The cd doesn't come out for two more weeks but if you're a fan of country...or even just good albums...I dunno...I might just say check it out...and now I'm hating myself for recommending a Jessica Simpson album AND a country album. WHO AM I ANYWAY?....uh oh....I feel a song coming on....

Am I my resume?

That is a picture of a person I don't know...what does he want from me? What should I try to be? So many faces all around and here I goooooo I need.....this job....dear God, I need...this show....a 5, 6, 7, 8!!!

Okay. I have to seriously get to work. I just found out that the girl who's position I'm taking over hasn't done her reconciliation reports since FEBRUARY!! So that's a fun eight days of work for me....looking forward to a low-key weekend and perhaps some video gaming and Gossip Girling.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

New to New York

As I near my 1 year anniversary of being in New York, I find myself reflecting a lot on my life. Is this where I thought I would be when I first moved here? Did I make the friends I thought I would make? Has the city changed me? And all of those questions will be answered on my 1 year anniversary post, happening on September 22nd. Seriously. Be here ya'll, it's gonna be off the chain. In the meantime, however, please read this article from the New York Times that I found. It sheds a little light on what it's like to live your first year in New York.

Newcomers Adjust, Eventually, to New York

Published: August 26, 2008
Sometime over the course of a person’s first year in New York, there usually comes that moment. It can happen in the first days or weeks, or after 10 months. It can happen repeatedly, or without people noticing, at least not at first.

Newcomers suddenly realize either that the city is not working for them or that they are inexorably becoming part of it, or both. They find themselves walking and talking faster.

The subway begins to make sense. Patience is whittled away; sarcasm often ensues. New friends are made, routines established, and city life begins to feel like second nature. In other words, newcomers find themselves becoming New Yorkers.

“It can be lonely, very lonely, and I knew I would find it hard,” said Lisa Phin, 25, who moved to New York from Dallas in late May, and is building a network of friends through events listed on Web sites like “But if you can stick it out for one year, you’re home free.”

Rebecca Thompson’s moment happened shortly after she moved to the city in January. On a visit home to Oklahoma, Ms. Thompson, 24, found herself flummoxed when a hostess at a party and everyone else there were inexplicably acting so nice.

Gabrielle Sirkin’s moment came on the heels of Thanksgiving Day last year, five months after she moved to New York. Every day until then, she felt as if she was doing battle daily with the city. But suddenly, on a night flight to Kennedy International Airport from California, Ms. Sirkin, 26, caught sight of the glittering skyline, and, to her great surprise, felt a surge of joy.

“I was really caught off guard by my reaction,” she said. “But I could see Central Park, and the lights on the Chrysler Building, and I wasn’t looking at it as a tourist. I was looking at it as though I was home.”

Ian Ingersoll’s moment happened within weeks of his move from Seattle to New York last fall. He suddenly found himself exasperated by slow moving pedestrians, and, like a true New Yorker, began darting around them instead.

“That was when I realized I was getting in sync with the city,” Mr. Ingersoll, 25, said.
For newcomers, there is often great comfort in these flashes of recognition, which can serve as signposts along the often arduous path to integration with New York.

For Mr. Ingersoll, the sense of getting aligned with New York felt like balm, because the city, for all of its exquisite appeal, ended up nearly breaking his spirit.

Mr. Ingersoll painstakingly saved $8,000 over a year and a half in Seattle, working three jobs to prepare for life in the city of his dreams. He burned through it in no time when he could not find full-time work. While he had admired New Yorkers’ famed acerbic attitude from afar, he found the brusqueness wounding once here. Making friends also proved hard; Mr. Ingersoll spent last Christmas wandering alone through Central Park.

But slowly, more than halfway through that crucial first year, life is brightening for Mr. Ingersoll, who is an actor. A close friend moved here, too, and now shares Mr. Ingersoll’s basement apartment in Union City, N.J. Mr. Ingersoll found a full-time job and has an audition or two lined up.

“I knew it wasn’t going to be easy — it was something I had to do,” said Mr. Ingersoll, who grew up in Alaska. “I am in love with the city. And what relationship is good if you don’t work for it?”
Young people have flocked to New York City by the tens of thousands for generations, to chase their dreams and test their mettle. And they continue to come in strong numbers. In 2006, nearly 77,000 people in their 20s had been in the city for a year or less, according to the annual study by the United States Census Bureau for that year.

But for many, the thrill of arrival is often tempered by the sinking realization of what an alienating place the city can be, especially for those who are not wealthy or who do not have a pre-existing network of friends. Nothing comes easily, even if one can get past the dauntingly high cost of living. The subway maze seems indecipherable. People are everywhere, but ignore each other on the street. Friends might live in distant neighborhoods, and seeing them often requires booking time, like an appointment, weeks in advance.

“Any time I want to see someone and catch up with someone, everyone takes out their BlackBerrys and says, ‘This weekend isn’t good; how about three weeks from now?’ “ said Ms. Sirkin, who moved to New York from Milan in June 2007. “How can you form really good and solid relationships with people if you see them once a month?”

Not every newcomer has trouble adjusting. Alexis Vuatrin, 27, from France, said that New York fit him from the start. The skyline, the bustle and the taxis seemed familiar, thanks to movies and TV shows, and he quickly fell into a sprawling group of French friends. Then again, Mr. Vuatrin had already lived in Geneva, Paris and Hildesheim, near Hanover, in Germany.
And by comparison, he said, “The people in the street here are so nice, and smiling.”

But nice is a relative thing. Boris Chen, 22, moved to New York from California early in July for a job with a finance company in Midtown. He is still trying to stomach what feels to him like a whole new brand of rude.

Mr. Chen also had to get over his lingering childhood fear of taxi drivers, which he believed came from movies. “I always thought any time I got into taxis they were going to kidnap me, and I was going to die,” he said.

That fear is behind him, largely because Mr. Chen refuses to indulge in it, and he is tackling city life systematically. He is cultivating friendships with people he met while apartment hunting on Craigslist. Through them, he has learned valuable insider city tips, like what kind of subway pass to buy (30-day unlimited), and whether he should tip deliverymen (yes) or doormen (it depends).

“Learning the transportation is sort of what I’m working on right now,” said Mr. Chen, who lives with two roommates on the Upper East Side. “I’m pretty good with the subways now, but at night it’s a little weird, and I don’t really know how that works.”

Ms. Phin already finds herself getting annoyed more easily, even though she arrived from Texas only two months ago. The culture at her job, as a marketer for an engineering company, was a lot more abrasive than she had expected. “Nothing is sugarcoated,” she said. And so, she is finding herself growing a tougher skin. “I thought I’d bring my niceness with me,” she said, “but already I feel an edge developing. Because you need to, to deal.”

Ms. Thompson, a native of Oklahoma who moved from Chicago six months ago, has adjusted to New York life relatively easily, she said, largely because she interned here a few summers ago. She also has friends from college in the city, and has made new ones through her church, St. Paul the Apostle.

But the city has changed Ms. Thompson, who lives in Hell’s Kitchen near the tourist-clogged streets of Times Square. “I’ve definitely become the pushy New Yorker who has to get around everyone on the sidewalk,” she said.

During a recent week back home in Oklahoma, Ms. Thompson said she found herself holding doors for others, but she was transformed again immediately upon her return. “I had a horrible flight,” she said, “and I snapped back.”

There also usually comes a time, early on, when newcomers must accept that the city is a power greater than they are.

“My friend said, ‘The city abuses you, and you just have to abuse it back,’ ” said Ms. Sirkin, who grew up in California and moved to New York reluctantly, after having visa problems in Italy last year. “The subway doesn’t work in the morning, and you’re a half-hour late for work, and that’s not in your control. You have to find ways of surviving.”

Ms. Sirkin’s friend Sarah Kasbeer also recalled being consumed by a common strain of existential New York City angst: the sense that no matter where one is, something better is happening — the real New York is in full swing — somewhere else.

“When I first got here, I’d go out in the city with people I worked with, and I felt I was missing something,” said Ms. Kasbeer, who moved to New York from Milan in 2006. I was going to clubs in Chelsea, the Lower East Side, things I wouldn’t do now.”

But sometime during her first year, she stopped trying so hard. “I just realized that I didn’t need to find ‘it,’ that my place in the city would fall into place,” she said. “Now I don’t make an effort; I roll with things. It’s not just the city, it’s yourself that you have to deal with as well.”

Ms. Sirkin continued to resist feeling part of New York long after her revelatory experience last Thanksgiving. And, yet she has begun to come around, taking acting and photography classes, and forging new friendships. It took a year, she said, but now, at last, she is starting to feel connected with what she describes as “this terrifying city.”

“Every day you encounter situations where you have to step out of your safety zone, and it’s really kind of a self-discovery experience,” she said. “I see myself fighting it, but I also I see myself, every day, becoming a New Yorker.”

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Ugh. I can't handle it. I'm so FRAKKIN excited!!!!!

Adventures in Traveling

Living in New York, public transportation is your friend. Not your best friend, or even your good friend, but a friend. It can be moody and break down on you or shut a door in your face, or really nice to you and arrive just as you're getting to the station. It can be hot tempered and have the air conditioning go out, or a giver of warmth on a cold winter's night. We would be lost without it. However, having ridden the Subway more often lately I've had some adventures and noticed some things that I'd like to share with you. Now.

1. "These is my babies"
Every now and then, you'll see crazies on the train asking for money or food or advice or whatever they choose to beg for. Being more financially stable, I do give money from time to time, but only if they make me laugh or perform or something. Seriously. You have to work for my dollar. Last night on my way down to Anthony's, a woman came on the train. With her she had a child in a stroller and probably a five or six year old with her. All of a sudden, a booming voice comes out of this woman's mouth: "EXCUSE ME. I AM SORRY TO BOTHER YOU BUT THESE IS MY BABIES AND I AM ASKING YOU FOR ANY FOOD OR DRINKS YOU CAN GIVE US. AS I SAID, THESE IS MY BABIES AND THEY ARE HUNGRY. I ASSURE YOU THIS IS NOT A LIE, THESE IS MY BABIES." Sad, right? Except it really wasn't. The older girl had highlights in her hair which made me wonder if the woman had a day where she was like "hmm...highlights or dinner?" Plus, I know she's possibly poor but "these is my babies." Come on. It's like you're handing me the joke on a silver platter. How do you expect me to leave the phrase "these is my babies" alone?

2. A Queen in Queens

I hurt my finger. Did ya hear? Well today I had a checkup and I made sure to schedule it very early as last time I was in the waiting room for an hour and ended up being late for work. Today, however, I was in and out in twenty minutes which was great so I decided to just go in to work early. I transferred trains at 59th street and I saw the N train was getting ready to leave the station. I thought "ooh, the N train goes right to work!" So I ran to catch it, just barely making it. The woman gets on the loud speaker to tell us the next stop and says "Next top, Queensboro Bridge." UH......THAT'S NOT 49TH STREET, THAT'S QUEENS! Queens!

I looked up to see if there was a "stop" string to pull like on buses but unfortunately subways don't work that way. Luckily I had plenty of time before I needed to be at work but it was an unexpected detour that didn't exactly help my mood.

3. 7:00 am

You'd think that the busy time of the morning to travel on the subway would be 8, or 9 am. Oh hell no, 7 am is where it's AT, ya'll!!! I could not believe how busy it was--I had to practically fight my way on a few trains. I get a bit overwhelmed by crowds in New York sometimes.
I don't know who doesn't. And at 7am, crowds make me a little crazy in my head. The train coming back from Queens this morning was so crowded I had somebody's hand in my crotch the entire way back. But I literally could not move and neither could the other person. That's the beauty of the subway though--sometimes you have a seat to yourself and sometimes you get felt up at 7am.

4. The Hulk lives again

I kinda broke up a fight on the subway last week. Okay, not really, but kinda. I'm heading down to Ant's, listening to my Ipod, when all of a sudden right in front of my face this white touristy guy and this Italian or Iranian or middle eastern looking business man start shouting "F you" to each other. Only, they weren't saying "F." Can you imagine if they did though? "F You!" "No, F You!" Not very fierce. Anyway, so I think they were fighting because the business man did not want to give the touristy guy's mom his seat but he ended up doing so begrudgingly. The white guy must not have liked the way he was talking so he got up in his face. Well on trains sometimes people are all over the place, bumping into each other. The train just happened to swerve while they were fighting so the businessman accidentally bumped into the white guy's wife. Mr. Tourist did not like this and pushed the businessman back. Keep in mind this is happening RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Businessman clearly was heading back to beat the white guy's ass but my manly instincts leaped into action and I, along with a black guy standing by the door, grabbed the businessman and held him back. He wasn't struggling too bad--I think he had enough sense to know that he shouldn't be fighting--and got off at the next stop which luckily came fast. I don't know what made me stop him from fighting, as normally I run away screaming from a fight. As it was though, I was totally shaking a good twenty minutes afterwards. Too bad I kept my shiv in my other pair of dress pants.
See boys? That's why you should date me. I've got pretty eyes
I break up fights

and I just got a promotion at work. Oh, what's that? I didn't mention I got a promotion? ;)

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Item #4,334 that is unpleasant to fall into whilst playing Beer Pong.

And you'd think that would be common knowledge....

Monday, August 25, 2008

Cutest Baby Ever Alert

Ugh. I can't stand it. Adorable. Who wants to buy one with me?!

Wii Done Broke Me

Happy Monday everyone. And what a day it is--it's cloudy, the stocks are down, disappointment is in the air...take a big whiff everyone. *SNIFF* Oh yeah...that's good stuff. Despite my feelings about being at work today, I actually had a really great weekend. Let's start with the most exciting bit of news:

I bought an iPhone, ya'll!!! It wasn't cheap but it sure is pretty and SO COOL!! I'm happy to finally have a grown up phone after the free pieces of crap I would get every year. Did I mention it's so pretty?

Friday night the boys and I went to see a double feature: The House Bunny and Hamlet 2. The House Bunny was everything you'd think it would be. Funny, silly, and completely vapid.

Hamlet 2, on the other hand, was a bit of a disappointment. And by 'disappointment' I mean it completely blew. It had a lot of the right elements and some really great cast members (Catherine Keener, Amy Pohler, David Arquette. Actually, scratch that last one) but as a whole it did not work at all. It left us all with a funny taste in our mouths and not a good funny. More like a "okay, what kind of sushi was that" sort of funny. After the movie BFF, Beaux and I decided to go out for "one drink" which of course turned into "six beers and three Jaeger shots."

Saturday I woke up and went to the gym which ended up being a very short trip as the tv's were broken and my Ipod was dead. I'm sorry but it's nearly impossible to work out without some kind of noise around you. I was the only one at the gym too so it's even like I had anything pretty to look at. After the gym BFF and I grabbed some lunch, the previously mentioned iPhone, and went to hang out at Barnes and Nobles. We then made evening plans. What started out as a mini hang out with Bridge turned into a Wii night at Anthony's. Wii!!!!!!!

It was SO. MUCH. FUN. Kaka Kido,

Matt, Bridget, Andrea, Rachel, Page Six, Scott D and Ravey were all there for the majority of the night and JamieJamie Moore, Husband, and Scott Evans joined us later. It was awesome to have all my favorite people in one room--I'm a lucky boy.

Due to the fact that I drank heavily and really got in to the Wii punching right arm, shoulder, and back are KILLING me today. As in it hurts to lift my arm. Between that and my finger, and I'm a walking bag of 'ouch' today.

After a late night and an even later sleeping in, I went over to Husband's house to play a little Mario Kart. We discovered his X-Men game around 4pm and next thing I know it's 11:30 pm and I'm heading home. 11:30!!!!! I haven't played video games that long in....I don't know how long! It has been since my cats chewed through the Playstation cords, that's for sure.

At any rate, we had a fantastic time and still had fun even after Scott D decided to just walk off the cliff. Twice. In a row. And the second time he was Rogue which is doubly lame because Rogue can fly and she wouldn't have died if she had walked off a cliff, she just would have flown back up and saved herself. We almost voted him off the team, but decided against it. He's too pretty to do that.

For some reason it took me a very long time to fall asleep last night. Like, 3:30 am hard time to fall asleep. It was not okay. But I'm here, and I have a fake smile on my face, and it's a half day on Friday and that makes everything okay!!

Friday, August 22, 2008


My mother is right--I do need more sleep. This is the third day in a row that I've been ready to fall asleep at my desk within the first hour. Not helping the cause is the fact that it's a summer Friday and therefore everyone (including assistants) is gone. And by 'everyone' I do mean the majority of the bankers and like four assistants. I may exaggerate from time to time. Hopefully Buffy will entertain me enough today to stay awake.

Rocked some Mario Kart last night. I have to say, I've never played it drunk before. Note to self: Drunk Mario Kart is HARD!!! Then I went home and cried while watching "The Cho Show." I'm an emotional mess when drunk lately.

Gwen Stefani had her baby. And named it Zuma. ZUMA!!!

Homegirl knows where its at. Ya'll know I love me some Zuma. Or at least I did until Josh Moon accidentally deleted it from my computer.

Happy Birthday to Tori Amos.

There are some artists that come along and completely change the way you look at music and the world in general. Tori is one of those for me. A lot of people don't "get" her style of music but she's something of a fine wine--an acquired taste if you will.

Not sure what the weekend holds but if all goes as planned I'll be the owner of an IPhone come Monday!!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

You Know You're a Cat Lady When...

There are many animals that if someone said they had them as a pet, one might say "Eek! Ew! I can't believe you own that!"




Even a fish might be scary

So why is it, every time I tell a person that I own two cats

They always say "Ew!! Gross! I hate cats! I can't believe you own cats! You're so disgusting! I"ll never be able to fall in love with you because you own cats! I'm allergic!" It feels like everyone says they're allergic to cats, yet every time they hang around cats, they're magically not anymore. And of course if someone says they own a dog, everyone around them says "oh wow! You have a dog?! How cool! How cute! You're so much more attractive right now!!"

Really? Really?

Yeah, that dog's sooooooo cute!!!! Adorable, in fact. I've seen all kinds of ugly dogs but have I ever seen an ugly cat?

Mmm......nope. And look--I'm not hating on dogs. I love dogs. My family has had three of them and our current one is the shit. I even consider myself more of a dog person than a cat person. I'm simply hating on the reaction that I get every time I tell someone I have cats. Oh--I'm sorry that I saved two innocent creatures from certain death. Excuse me for doing what I can to better two adorable creatures' lives!

I got Carrie and Mr. Big back in the summer of 2006. I had just gone through a big breakup and thought that I needed something that would love me unconditionally. I knew that a dog would be too big of a responsibility for me to handle on my own so I started looking for cats. The minute I saw Carrie I knew she was the one for a completely shallow "oh she's so pretty" sense. At first I wasn't too keen on the idea of having two kittens but once I heard their story I couldn't resist. According to Julie (the women who gave them to me), her sister was about to leave from her trailer park in Arizona to visit her. She noticed, underneath a trailer and in 116 degree heat, two newborn kittens. Apparently Mr. Big, at the time she found her, was two hours from death. This woman's sister drove to Utah with the kittens because she knew that Julie had cats and was an animal lover. Julie nursed them back to health (apparently they both could fit in tea cups when she first got them) but due to the fact that she already had four cats (four!! Eek!) she was unable to keep them. I mentioned to her that I only wanted one but Julie did not want to separate them and I understood as they had already been through a lot. Julie took care of all the spaying and declawing for me and gave me food, litter box, water, toys, treats, the works--it was a huge help as I don't think I realized just how much a financial burden pets can be. Two years we are. So there you have it--the story of how Mr. Big and Carrie came to be. Yet ONE MORE story about my cats.

Oh, and for those of you who say that cats are gross because they "shit in the house and then you have to clean it up," guess what else shits in the house?

And then you have to clean up after it. And then it grows up and resents you. I rest my case.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

My Companies' Hold Music....

....sound like the theme song from "Full House." It trips me up every time.

Just thought you'd like to know.

And yes, I am posting this while on hold. I can Multi-Task with the best of them.

Waiting on the world what?

Why is it that Dr.'s offices need to F with your head? Seriously. I had a follow up appointment this morning to see how my finger is healing and, surprise surprise, I was on time. They called my name almost immediately and ushered my in to that little room filled with no tv, or magazines, or even posters or diplomas on the wall. Just one big mirror so I can stare at myself and see how tired I look. I thought: "Good. They called me right away. It's early enough, I shouldn't have to wait long."


I did have to wait long. I waited in that God forsaken room for over a half hour. At which point they pulled me out, took an X-Ray, then sent me back to the room....for twenty more minutes. The Doctor comes in, tells me that I'm "Half way between where they want me to be and surgery" and makes me schedule another appointment the following week....for the exact same thing. I don't mind waiting, but at least give me some candy after you're done so my time can feel worthwhile. I was a tad annoyed, to say the least.

Pretty nothing day over here. Gym, lunch, Buffy, writing...I've got a report to do somewhere in there. Went to the infamous "Natalie Weiss Game Night" which kind of rhymes. It was lots o' fun, even though I discovered that people don't know how to spell "Sacajawea" and therefore I only got two correct during a round in "Celebrity." Two. Pathetic. But so is spelling her name "Sacajoia." That's a tree in the woods of Oregon, not the coin lady. Come on now....

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Only in New York

So last night, after my second workout of the day, I decided to have a nice, quiet evening in. I had planned on grabbing some food, writing a bit, and settling down for a long winter's nap...I mean, settling down to watch "The Hills." I then found out that JamieJamie Moore was heading to Musical Mondays...and after the emotionally taxing day I'd had I definitely needed a drink. So I went. During my trip down and back, I had some instances happen that one can only find in New York. Well, I'm sure you can find them other places as well, but the saying doesn't work if you say it like "Only in New York...and Atlanta, Detroit, and LA." Right?

*"Life is Sad"
In NYC there are "gentlemen's clubs" here and there. Much fewer than in the 1980's, but they still exist, especially in the Time's Square area. So I'm walking to the 1 train and this man is standing outside of "Happy Times," or whatever this particular gentleman's club is called. So as I'm passing, he hands me a flyer and says "life is sad." That's it. Not "life is sad, come see boobs," no, just "life is sad." Well I KNOW life is sad, you don't need to reiterate it to me!! And since when do boobs make a sad person happy? Wait...don't answer that. I was also offended because there were a bunch of people walking by me, why did he choose me out of all of them? Do I have that "my life is sad" look while walking down the street? I guess the good thing is that I passed for straight...

After an hour and a half at M.M., I was more than ready to call it a night. It was nice to see JamieJamie Moore, but my "sad" ass was ready for bed. I'd had a good number of beers so I stumbled to the Subway to start my trek home. Luckily I didn't have to wait long as the train was pulling up right when I got there. I step on the train, and immediately notice a guy sitting across from me. He looked short, but not midget short. I'd say he was 5'0", maybe 5'1"-2". But it was the oddest thing...he had T-Rex arms.

I'm not kidding ya'll--it was crazy!! I kept staring at him to see if I was drunk and seeing things but nope, T-Rex arms. Only in New York...and possibly Mesopotamia.

*Police Academy
While staring at T-Rex man, we stopped at 23rd street and a group of young guys in uniform got on. Young guys in uniform!!!! Upon looking closer, I noticed they were from the New York Police Academy. Which got me thinking.... AMAZING were the Police Academy videos when you were a kid? I remember liking #5 the best. As excited as I was to see the Police Academy boys, something tells me I would have been more excited to see Sgt. Tackleberry, or Sgt. Hightower, or the black guy that makes voices with his mouth. Or the guy who played Punky Brewster's dad. Side note: Did you know there were seven Police Academy movies (oddly enough, Police Academy 6 was the 7th in the does that work?) and in 1997 there was a Police Academy tv series?! Who knew people cared enough about that show after 1987!!

*Bernie Mac!!
After cutting my pinkie toe on the corner of the Subway stairs (that was fun...) I was distracted while walking on 9th Avenue by an...interesting T-Shirt. It was in the style of the shirts you used to see in '96 and '97 where big thugs would have pictures of dead rap stars (ie. Tupac) spray painted on the shirt with some sort of message. Well last night was no exception. It was a big thug with the spray painted shirt but this shirt threw me off.....because it had Bernie Mac on it. I'm not saying that Bernie Mac wasn't a great comedian but is he really that...famous or important to be put on a t shirt? It was also amusing because it said a LOT in a tiny space. I have done my interpretation of it for you here:

On a T Shirt. Seriously ya'll, only in New York. Or Detroit. Or Atlanta. Or LA. Or......

Monday, August 18, 2008

Perez and Alanis

So ya'll know I love me some Alanis Morissette. And you also probably know that I'm a fan of Perez Hilton. You also may know that Alanis has been putting on the pounds lately...which is fine...I love her the same. Is it bad that I laughed out loud when I saw this picture on Perez's site this morning?

I think it's the "I'm Hungry" writing that made me crack up. I know that Perez likes Lani, so it's all in good fun, but she might want to consider wearing less tight pants next time....

Things I Liked About My Weekend

These are a few of my favorite things......

*Friday night
The boys (ScottD, Scott Evans, Page Six, BFF, and Husband) came over to Ant Rapp's house for a "movie night." It wasn't so much a movie night as it was a "let's stare at each other for a bit while we decide what to do" night at first, but we ended up playing a card game that was SO much fun. Drinking and other such calamities ensued and we concluded with four orders of chicken fingers at 1am. "Million Dollar Baby!!"

*Saturday Morning
I layed in bed catching up on "Project Runway," "Kathy Griffin," and "The Hills." Nothing like trashy tv to get your weekend started off right. Did anyone catch the top 10 Hills moments with cast interviews this weekend? They were shuttin' it DOWN!! Premiere tonight, baby!!

*That One Guy
I got the opportunity to spend an extended amount of time with someone and very much enjoyed his humor, intellect, and company. It was definitely the high point of my weekend.

I have no idea if that's how you spell it but....I ate here twice this weekend and it's friggin' amazing!!! Saturday I had a ham and cheese sandwich that blew my mind and Sunday I rocked a roasted vegetable pizza (which I will rock the leftovers of later tonight). I love finding new restaurants that are fantastic!

All I'll say about going to this trashy bar Saturday night is that it's really nice to walk in with someone who is much more attractive than you and to know that you're the two hottest guys in there. Makes your ego feel good.

*Page Six
I have to love someone who shares my love of Chipoltle and trashy reality shows and will let me vent to him absolutely judgement free and I know it's judgement free which is the refreshing part. Plus, he'll let me watch "America's Funniest Home Videos" while we eat said Chipoltle and will give me all of his old Entertainment Weeklys. Yay for Page Six, happy I got to spend time with you this weekend!

*Baked Cheetos and Mike & Ikes
Yum. Diet. Starts. Now.

Things I did not like about my weekend.....

*Not seeing BFF enough
*Went too fast
*Nagging cough
*Did I mention it went too fast??

Happy Monday, ya'll. Is it Friday yet?

Friday, August 15, 2008

Funny....and Oh So Wrong

Notice what it says on the flowers. Jeremiah ( emailed me and said "I wonder if Jesus used any rollover minutes for his call?" Funny....and oh so wrong.

Here are some more funny and oh so wrongs....

That last one took me SO LONG to figure out. Lol. I was like, "what? The floating baby head? What's wrong about this?" Pictures are courtesy of, a hilarious website. Happy Friday bitches!!!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

What Do You Get....

...when you add two cute boys, a whole lot of booze, and a silly hat with a bow???


It Happened Again

I saw an unmistakable "Fitch" shirt while walking to work this morning. Lucky for the dude wearing it, I was late to work and therefore didn't have time to stop and give him a little bit of my snark.

Yes, lucky for him.

I would like to post an excerpt from a June 23 posting on BriTunes detailing what happened the last time I saw one of these shirts:

Random story time - On Friday when I was walking home from work, I was clearly in a very bad mood. I saw this kid across the street from me with an Abercrombie shirt on.

This shirt on, as a matter of fact. I don't know why, but I was SO ANNOYED he was wearing that kind of a shirt. Like, I was just visibly pissed off that he wore a shirt with a giant FITCH on it. So as I passed him in the crosswalk, I took off my sunglasses, stared him in the face, and said "Hey, where's your shirt from?" Then I put my sunglasses back on and kept walking. See? Even depressed I'm hilarious! The kicker in the story is that I was wearing an Abercrombie dress shirt. A hypocrite, again, but at least this time I was a funny hypocrite.
Ah, I love being snarky! I repeat, LUCKY.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I Done Read These Blogs

Many people have expressed to me that they enjoy reading my blog. And I have a link to the right of the blogs that I enjoy reading as well--but there are a few that particularly bring joy to my day. And I'd like to share those with you. Now.

*95% Complete and Utter Crap - Amanda
Amanda is one of my oldest and funniest friends. She has an acerbic wit and always and an intelligent view on so many situations in her life. If you're lucky you'll hear a story about Gavin, her genius child, who is charming and hilarious and to hear Amanda re-tell the stories is truly a treat. She's bad at blogging, but hopefully she'll be encouraged to keep up the streak she just started (if you can call two blogs in a row a streak)

*PopWrap -Jarett
Possibly the only friend who blogs as much as I do, J takes the latest celebrity gossip and gives the readers his commentary and thoughts. He's hilarious and snarky, and delivers the best pictures to go with his stories. If you want up-to-the-minute celebrity news, head to TMZ or Perez, but if you want smart, witty stories about celebrities, PopWrap is the way to go.

*I muse. I move. I morph - Annette
Of course I have to give a shout out to my wife Annette, one of the first blogs I ever started reading. She basically just tells about her life being married to a hot doctor, jetting off on vacations, participating in theater events, and redecorating her house...but she has a way with words that makes you want to read on. She's absolutely darling and Canadian, so you often feel like you're reading something that comes from a far away foreign land. Which technically it does but....Canadians aren't really foreign. They're just like, Diet American. ;)

*Single Servings with Spence - Spencer
Even though he taught me it was spelled "Spenc," not "Spence" S.S.W.S teaches those single, sad, nobodies out there how to cook delicious meals on a budget, and yes that's a serving for one, please. I'm not nearly smart or creative enough with food to come up with half of these menu items and if there's one thing Spencer knows how to do, it's cook on a budget. He came over once and taught me how to make a dish and I rode that bitch for the next two weeks. Seriously. I had it 5/7 days of the week both weeks. If that's not sad, I don't know what is. Sad...but DELICIOUS.

*FourFour - Rich
This bitch is crazy! Rich has the greatest movie reveiws, reality show commentaries, and Top Model recaps you've ever seen. He picks the greatest pictures and animated gifs and is the type of person that says exactly what you were thinking, but were afraid to say. I've never laughed out loud more at a website than I have at Rich's Top Model recaps. This is one fierce Tranny! *side note* Rich is not an actual tranny. Just wanted to clear that up.

*Living My Life in NY - Billy
I have never met Billy. Billy has never met me. But somehow we now read each others' blogs every day. I can't even recall how I came to find his blog. But it's smart, thoughtful, insightful, and full of proper grammar and spelling and ya'll know how much I love that. Like Annette, Billy is another blogger who just blogs about his life but does it in a way that is riveting and makes you want to know more about him.

*[title of shoe] blog
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be cramazed. It's [tos]ome.

There are other blogs I read that are seldom updated but still enjoyable, however, until they update more frequently they're not getting a shout out on here (I'm talking to you Tanner, Brynn, Sarah, Ramsey, and Heidi!!!)

Some People I Wish Had Blogs
*My brother, Patrick. Somehow reading his newspaper articles about sports just don't do it for me.
*ScottD. I love reading his perfectly crafted emails, and I'm always interested in what he has to say.
*Vinny. Another person who writes great emails and would probably run an interesting blog.
*Bridget. Homegirl makes me laugh. And I can always use more Bridget in my diet.

So that's that. Thanks for reading BriTunes. I love that I have a place where I can express my random, weird, and sometimes over thought thoughts. Keep on keeping on, ya'll!

Finger update update

Saw the Orthopedic Surgeon this morning.
He was a bit rash, and rude, but after X-Rays it has been determined that my tendon was simply too strong for my bones and when the ball hit my finger the tendon pulled the bone away from the joint. Picture your knee cap and a string pulling it away from your knee. And that's what happened. So now I have to wear a splint for 6-8 weeks in hopes of it healing on its own. I can't take the splint off at all, even to shower. If it heals


Something tells me I wouldn't have gotten hurt had I played this type of dodgeball....