It's not a situation I enjoy.
#2. The Bearded Lady
If I'm REALLY lucky I'll see crazy bird lady's daughter, or as she is more affectionately known, "The Bearded Lady." I feel bad for her, I do, but she really has it coming to her. Homegirl wears the same unflattering pink shorts every day, does not comb her hair, and has hairy legs and a hairy face! C'mon bitch--Nair is NOT that expensive!The sad thing about this amazing portrait by Brian? a). It's surprisingly not that far off from the real girl and b). This picture makes her look pretty. Seriously ya'll, she is gnarly. I don't know what is scarier before 9am--pigeons or Bertha up there.
Picture Rogue, from the X-Men.
Now picture Rogue as a 70-year old woman.
Old lady Rogue is a new friend of mine, I've only seen her a handful of times, but she sure is a favorite!
4. Heckler Hank
Every day, when I pass by the Post Office, Heckler Hank is either setting up for the day or is already there and ready to heckle. I have no idea who this crazy is, but he's a man I presume to be homeless who rides his bike to the post office every day, sits down, and just heckles people. He doesn't ask for money, he doesn't perform, he just heckles. For instance, if you're a pretty lady, or even a lady in general he'll say something to the effect of "yeah baby honey mama! Walk that ass down the street to the corner, then turn right and walk it some more! Yeah!!!" Or if you've got a dog he might say something to the effect of "That dog goes woof! That dog has four legs! That dog is a dog!" Heckler Hank is the King of stating the obvious. My favorite is if an old person walks by because Heckler Hank will say something like "you is old! You're an old bitch! Your ass is old!" Well duh H.H., they know that they're old. They don't need you telling them that. It's just mean when you think about it. The only thing that Heckler Hank has yelled to me is "You've got some music in your ears!" I'm assuming he said this because I had my headphones in and not because of the marching band that was hanging out in my ears. But I'm only assuming.