Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Top 20 Moments of 2008

As you may have guessed by now, I'm back at work. Woo....hoo. It's a snowy day here in New York and New Years Ever as well so I'm definitely feeling for those assholes who think it's a cool idea to stand out in Times Square in the freezing cold. Just tell me where the alcohol and homos will be, and I'm there. I've got a few plans for tonight that are sure to include both and I'm excited to see the NYC folks again after a great holiday. Family time in Ohio was really great. Santa was good to me, I drank like a fish, and got lots of kisses from my dog. A more thorough recap will come once I get pictures but for now I present to you the Top 20 Moments of 2008.

Upon first thought, 2008 was a bust. Bankruptcies, breakups, breakdowns--so much drama happened. I felt like I got a true handle on how New York works and am looking forward to entering 2009 with a fresh prospective and a new insight. When I first thought about this list, I automatically assumed I would be struggling to find 10 great moments. Then I went through the blog, randomly writing down moments that I remembered fondly and my list was almost 45 by the end of the year. It was then that I switched my thinking on 2008 and forced myself to focus on the positive moments and items that came out of the year. So while, yes, there were many bummers, there were also so many great times. It was hard for me to pare the list down, but here it is!

#20. September 26, 2008 - Alanis Morissette Concert at Radio City Music Hall

Yes, I went by myself. And yes, I pretty much knew the setlist going in. But it had been years since I'd seen a full length Alanis concert and I was so stoked to see her at an amazing venue. Alanis popped my concert cherry back in '98 and also popped my Radio City Music Hall cherry. She's just a little cherry popper, she is!

#19. September 20, 2008 - Scott Evans' Birthday Scavenger Hunt

Scott's birthday was just a fantastic group of people, a fun activity, and introduced me to some of my favorite people in New York. Our team was, obviously, the best. We all got so into it and had such a fun time. Go Team Yellow!!!!

#18 July 17, 2008 - [title of show] Opening Night

If you had told me a year ago that I would be attending the opening night of a Broadway musical with Anthony Rapp, I would have said you were crazy. Possibly "fruckin' crazy." Cut to me attending the opening night of a Broadway musical with Anthony Rapp and my mind explodes a little bit. It was just a fantastic night full of star sightings, great theater, and surrealness. I also loved that I was able to sneak Spencer in for a bit of the afterparty. It was really fun pointing and whispering with him.

#17. August 30, 2008 - Labor Day in CT

I had some really great times in Connecticut this year, but none were as great as the times when we went boating. Sun, Fun, and Rum Punch--how does it get better than that?! Labor Day was an especially fun time in CT. Spencer and my's friend Matt came out with us and the three of us had such a blast hanging out, singing, tubing, and NOT getting stung by jellyfish. Obviously, any opportunity I can get to hang out with my buddy Jack is awesome. That night, after boating, we went back to the house, played gin rummy, and put on awesome coats.

#16. November 14, 2008 - Out 100

Any opportunity I have to dress up, I've discovered, is a great one. This night was filled with cute boys, free drinks, and fun. Page Six got me in, I was able to hang out with my boys, and I looked fantastic. Such a contrast from the year prior!!

#15. November 27, 2008 - Spanksgiving

Some of the best food I have EVER tasted occurred at this special Thanksgiving. Since I wasn't able to go home, I was fortunate enough to spend Turkey Day with some of my dearest loves. Tons of booze, tons of Wii, and three naps equals a successful Spanksgiving '08!!

#14. May 29, 2008, 12:00am - First Showing of "Sex and the City"

While not lucky enough to attend the actual premiere of the movie (Danny DeVito broke up with me three months too early), Spenc and I did grab opening night tickets. I grabbed my Sour Patch Kids, and we settled into our seats an hour and a half before the movie started. Upon that first viewing, the movie was everything I wanted it to be. Multiple viewings later I am able to spot many flaws (damn you, Jennifer Hudson!) but I still feel like the movie captures the essence and magic of the TV Show. Walking home from that movie, on the warm May night at 3am, was one of my favorite moments ever!

#13. Multiple Nights Since September - RUDY'S

Would have ever thought that a Pig, Duct Taped booths, bad music, and cheap beer could equal so many good times?!?!

#12. April 4, 2008 - Slapping a Bitch Up

There was a time back in April when Spencer and I would go out practically every Friday night. This one particular time, we were in a cab coming back uptown from the LES. It was 3am, we had been drinking heavily, and were looking forward to hitting Ray's Pizza for a little late night snack. For whatever reason, the one of us slapped the other. Then we started cracking up. Then I slapped him. We cracked up. He slapped me. Cracked up. The entire cab ride we were just slapping each other as hard as we could and then laughing harder then I've ever laughed.

Honorable "Hardest I've Ever Laughed" Mention": Watching "Wipeout" drunk at Scott Evans' house. I honestly could not breathe I was laughing so hard.

#11. November 18 - 20, 2008 - Visit to Utah

I miss my Utah friends very much, so I was extra lucky I was able to see so many of them when I went back over my birthday for Kristen's wedding. Sushi, karaoke, and puking rabbits--I have so many great memories from a simple three day trip. I was also so blessed that my brother was willing to drive out from Colorado to hang out with me for a day or so. Any opportunity that PBahr and I have to hang out is an awesome one. We have so much fun together, even though we're so different. It's great to have a brother that rocks. Side Note: Heidi is not in the picture, but I stayed with her and I love her very much. I just know she would have wanted me to put that out there.

#10. June 24, 2008 - Philharmonic in Central Park

I said it at the time and I stick with my original statement - it truly was a "magical New York movie moment." The stars all aligned this night. It was great weather, I was with great friends, we had great food ( I remember I could NOT stop eating) and we were at a really cool event. I really loved my life that night!

(Shout out to my old Sprint phone. R.I.P.!)

#9. November 21, 2008 - Birthday Karaoke Party

I was lucky enough to attend two Birthday karaoke parties this year, and I loved them both equally. I'm giving the New York party a shout out though, because so many people came that I did not expect to come. My dodgeball boys, Team Yellow, Kaka and my's friends, work friends, it was just a fantastic mix of people and I felt really loved in that small room under that Japanese restaurant. I also loved that people who normally would never get up and sing (i.e. Page Six) sang me birthday tributes (i.e. "Shoop"). That night was also special because I met Boston later that night which was, at the time, a great thing. How little I knew then, How Little I Knew!!! Run away Brian, Run away!! Don't invest your time or energy!! Ahem. Excuse me for that little outburst. On with the list.

#8. May 12, 2008 - Musical Mondays with Steve and Scott

I had been to Musical Monday's once or twice before, but no time was as special as the time I met my Husband and really got to hang out with Scott. For whatever reason, that night was one of the greatest ever. I was with Spencer and my roomie, we met awesome, fun guys, and sang our asses off. I have such fond memories of that night and have yet to replicate it since--Defying Gravity just isn't the same if you're not standing on a chair in a crowded bar!

# 7. November 4, 2008 - That's "President" Obama to you!
In addition to seeing Patti LuPone in "Gypsy," this was another time this year I felt like part of history. Page Six and I went out to dinner, started drinking, and then watched as state after state turned into blue and into Obama's favor. Walking home from his apartment after and seeing all the people in the street shouting and cheering was a really cool moment and one that I will not forget any time soon.

#6. August 24, 2008 - Playing X-Men: Legends with Hubby and Scott D

Nerdy? Sure. Time waster? Perhaps. More fun than you can shake a stick at? You bet your ass!!!! I remember this day so clearly, and it was SO MUCH FUN! I was staying at Ant Rapp's the night before and went over to Hubby's apartment later in the day to hang out. We started playing X-Men: Legends and 8 hours later I find myself going home. Scott D came over to join us and the three of us were drinking, eating, laughing, and playing an X-Men video game. SUCH a fun time!!

#5 June/December - Drunk Times with Family
The Bahr's are a special breed. And one of the things I find most special about the Bahr's is that they like to drink. A lot. Like fish, if you will. And I love that. So you can imagine the fun times I've had with them these past two vacations eating, drinking, playing cards and games, and laughing our asses off. When I was in Ohio over Christmas, Pat imbibed in the alcohmahol a bit more than he has...well...ever, and it was so special to me. It was the greatest Christmas present he could have ever given me!

#4. July 26, 2008 - Four Fags at Six Flags

Still one of the greatest ideas of '08, Hubby/Vinny/Spenc and I went to Six Flags on a beautiful Saturday in July. We had so much fun skipping lines, eating trashy Carni food, and wearing our capes. It was the perfect day....until Dr. Mikes' car started breaking down the minute we got back into the city. Except for that--perfect day!!!

#3 April 11 - 13/ May 30 - June 1 - DC DOUG!!!

Even though Doug has YET to come to New York to vist me and Spencer, I've made the trek down there twice and Spencer has made it down once. And both times were amazing, fun, and wonderful. Doug has himself a great little set up down there in Washington DC and it was really cool see his work, see where he grocery shops, see where he hangs out. I miss Doug something fierce and even though he may possibly NEVER COME TO NEW YORK, my love for him shall never face and my visits down to DC shall continue.

This girl is dear to my heart. We asked this lady to take our picture and her daughter jumped in the picture. The mom was all "Shaquandalisha, get out of the picture!" but we were happy to have her join us. Please note the the blue hair and the amazing smile. Sigh. I love her.

# 2. February, July, October - Visits to New York!
I'm very lucky that I live in a place that people want to come visit and not like, South Dakota or something. Who lives in S.D., anyway? This year I had many people near and dear to my heart come visit and each visit was special in its own way. So a huge shout out and 'thank you' goes out to:
*My Parents and Melissa

*Laurie and Mike
*Bob and his hot work associate
*And a VERY special shout out goes to Kristen Taylor
She came out twice this year and I was able to go to Utah for her wedding. I feel so thankful and blessed that I was able to see some of my favorite people three times this year.
And number 1 moment of 2008.....
#1. August 22-24 - SPRING BREAK LONG ISLAND!!!!

It literally was the most perfect weekend of my life. It started the Friday before with Spencer, Hubby, and Scott D and I playing Flip Cup and Beer Pong with 66 beers. D-RUNK. I had the most amazing morning, then met up with Spenc and Matt and we traveled out to Kristina's parent's house in Long Island. The combination of the booze, food, and friends just led to a weekend I will never, ever forget.

Honorable Mention of the Year: Michael Phelps

So wow, what a year. Resolutions? None that I haven't already been working on. Simplifying my life and cutting out the drama. Oh, and getting back into my gym routine. I've seriously been slacking the past few months. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go get Chipotle and sit on my couch before I go out and party.
Don't give me shit--It's not January 1st yet--my resolutions will start tomorrow. Happy New Year!!!!

I Never Thought This Day Would Come

I know I missed the exact day but three days ago, on December 28....David Archuleta had a birthday.

You all know what this means, don't you? He's 18!!! Legal!!! I'm coming David, wait for me! Here's to hoping that Jeremiah doesn't get there first! Happy Belated Birthday, David!

Thursday, December 25, 2008


Spotted at Christmas Eve mass in Ohio.....

Really, really off-key singers who couldn't get through "Silent Night" if their lives depended on it.

Random timpani's going off during multiple songs.

A guy in front of me's ass, which WOULD. NOT. QUIT.

My iPhone going off during the homily.

One impeccably dress man and his sister walking in late. Hey, I have to make an entrance what can I say?

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

My Grown Up Christmas List

With only a few hours left of work before my Christmas Holiday, I find myself reflecting on....screw that--my bitch ass is ANTSY!! Seriously, I feel like a child on Christmas morning with presents in front of me and I can't open them. I fly out to Oh-hee-O this afternoon and I done be excited! I can't wait to pour a glass of wine, cuddle up in front of the fire with my dog, and RELAX.
Due to the fact that Christmas Eve is tomorrow, I would like to present a few favorites of mine from past Christmases and a few things that I would like.
1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story

You can't have Christmas without these two movies. Ever since I was a kid, Christmas Vacation has been a staple in our family. You'd be hard pressed to find a funnier Christmas movie. Between Aunt Bethany, the squirrel, Uncle Eddie, the cat exploding, the early 90's fashions, the horrible turkey--it has every hilarious holiday calamity that has happened to pretty much everyone's family at one point or another. I think my family likes it so much because we're almost as tragic as the Griswolds are.

Another classic that we all love is A Christmas Story. I remember thinking how scandalous it was when I was a kid. The leg lamp! The swearing! Scandal! Also, was anyone else as terrified of the red head kid as I was?


2. All I Want For Christmas Is You

Arguably the best Christmas song EVER, this song holds a very special in my heart. It is my mom's favorite Christmas song and whenever it plays on the annual Christmas cd, she drops whatever she's doing and does the most adorable (okay, awkward and rhythm-less) dance in the living room. Picture Elaine, from Seinfeld's dance.

BarbBahr knows how to get down! Makes me think of her every time I hear the song.

3. Peppermint Kandy Kids

Speaking of dancing....

...Frosty the Snowman!!! I don't remember what year I got this album, but when my brother and I were little kids we couldn't wait for Christmas if only to play this record over and over and over again. It has the most ridonkulous songs on there but we didn't care. We would dance all over the living room but it was more like running in circles. My parents' record player is broken so I haven't heard the album in a few years but when I do again, you bet your bottom dollar I'll be "dancing" all around the living room just like I was 8 years old again!

4. Bow Ties
If you're looking for gifts to give me, I want bow ties. I've decided that I'm going to bring the bow tie back. "Back where?" said Maria Conchita Alonzo. "Just back," I replied. "As I'm bringing Sexy Back, I will also bring back the bow tie." It's classic, it's a little nerdy, it's '09.

5. Popples

Who remembers Popples?! When I was a kid I had an Orange one....but don't remember his (or her) name. I would carry that thing with me everywhere! I wonder where he (or she) went. While completely irrelevant to Christmas, my popple is one of my favorite memories of the past.

6. The Night Before Christmas

Every Christmas Eve, we can't go to bed until we read this book. Each year we would take turns reading it but of course because I liked being theatrical, I would also want to read it. Some years I would be funny, the year I was learning dialects in school I read it in a British accent, it always varied. When Pat and Melissa learned to read, I had to share, which was a bummer. My favorite memory of this book was a year we were living in Michigan and my grandparents were visiting for the holidays. My grandfather is one of the greatest people I know and I remember him reading this book vividly. He was so funny (in the way only grandpa's can be) and we were all on the edge of our seats to see what joke he would make next while reading it. I will happily give up my turn any year to have Grandpa read the book.

7. Abs.

I would like abs this year. It almost happened during Phelps time, but then I started eating again. As '09 is the year of the bow tie, it will also be the year of the ab--mark my words.
8. Eggnog
Really bad for you. Kind of expensive. Gross when you think about what it is. But DELICIOUS! The only thing I could be describing is EGG NOG! Okay...I could really be describing many, many things. But egg nog also works in that category. When I was little my mom would only buy one carton the entire Christmas season, saying it was too expensive. And she done be right! How in the world can someone charge five bucks for that shit? Crazy. Note to all my fat girls out there---vanilla bean ice cream. Chocolate sauce. Egg Nog on top? Delicious.

9. Cheetara

When I was a kid, I loved Thundercats. LURVED! And my favorite was Cheetara. I played with her all the time. Even after homegirl's head fell off, I still played with her. Remember how I said Miss Piggy turned me into a big 'mo? Cheetara may also have contributed to that. Still nothing to do with Christmas, but a fond memory of mine all the same.

10. Brit Brit

Speaking of trannies....

..Britney is going on tour!! I will NOT miss this, but have yet to get tickets. So for Christmas I'd like Britney tickets. Thanks Santa!!

11. O Christmas Tree...

Something I love about my family is that every year we would go to a Christmas tree farm, cut down our own tree, then bring it home and decorate it. Something my parents instilled in me is a sense of tradition. I get a little annoying with it though, because I want to help decorate the tree and have Santa come even as a 20 hmmrmr.a.dfal year old. This is the first year that we aren't going to open presents on Christmas Eve and have Santa come Christmas morning and I'm having a small, but manageable, panic attack about it.

12. Advent Calendar

One of the biggest fights in the Bahr household occurred over who would open the Advent calendar every day. The chocolate was gross (and not really appropriate at 7:30 am) but I loved seeing what was under that little day! Advent calendars really helped me get in the Christmas mood as a kid.

13. Rock Band

I really want Rock Band for Christmas. But I'll need an XBox first. Thanks, Santa!

14. Christmas Candy
Every year my mom would make Christmas candy for all of our teachers and neighbors and I loved it!! What is funny, is that the candy didn't really have any flavor and was more of a hassle than anything, but she stuck with it. Moms are really great sometimes when you think about all of the things that they do to make the holiday season extra special for kids. My mom, especially, has gone above and beyond to make every year special. Even the year the gave me pencils.

15. Robert Pattinson's haircut

Pre haircut? Gross. Post haircut? Now this is something I can work with!!!! I'd like this haircut and this man for Christmas. Thanks, Santa!

16. Snowboard

When I was 14 I got a plastic snowboard for Christmas. I cried. My parents tried and tried for me to be athletic when all I wanted was dance lessons. "When will they learn?" I thought. Bless their hearts for trying, it just wasn't meant to be. Until I became a 'mo and discovered the pressure that comes with it to be thin. So really with this scenario, we both win.
Merry Christmas everyone, and happy holidays (for my Jewish and Kwanzo peeps). I hope that Santa is good to you and that the travels are safe!