Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Christmas 2008 Photo Bonanza

It's the Bahr Family 2008 Christmas Photo Bonanza!! We've got all of your favorite characters here including...

Patrick Jeffery!!

Barbara Jane!!

Melissa Ruth!!

Justine Marie!!!

William John!

and of course...your one and only

Brian Christopher!!

So many great times happened over vacation in Ohio that it would take me forever to tell all the stories and describe all the adventures we had. It would probably bore you, anyway. So instead, I'm going to focus on some of the highlights and themes of the week. And away we go!!

*Cue theme song*


Please meet the love of my life, Josie. She's hilarious, smart, genuine, and loves me. What more could one ask for?! The best thing about her though, is that she does impressions!

Marley, from "Marley and Me"

Amy Winehouse


Ain't she just the cutest thing ever?


Omg, and a whole lot of it! Thankfully (for me and probably everyone else) I didn't do much of it. I attempted to make Bridget's famous Mac and Cheese and I helped my mom make the turkey. Other then that, I pretty much stayed out of the kitchen except to get more food and another glass....ahem....botttle....of wine.

*Pictures at the Dinner Table

Whether to get a picture of everyone or just the spread of food, we sure do like our shots at the dinner table, don't we? Please note two things: 1. In the top picture, Justine is drunk as a skunk. But you'd never know it, would you?! She's mastered the fine art of taking a great picture completely hammered. I've never been more proud. 2. The absence of Bill. BillBahr in the pictures. One of these years we've gotta have someone else take the picture! Can't we just hire someone to do that?


And lots of 'em!!

Okay, actually only two. Technically Julian is 4 years old and can't really be considered a 'baby' anymore but anyway. Joining us are our special guests, Cousin Tragedy, Julian, and Laken--also known as 'the cutest baby in the history of the world.' In the middle of the night Lake was crying and so I got up and held him for about a half hour. The next morning as soon as he saw me he gave me a huge smile. I think it was because I sang him "Oops I did it again" to get him to fall back asleep. Cutest moment ever alert: While sitting at the dinner table, Julian leans over to me and says "brian, since you're my best friend, can I tell you a secret?" The secret was about Spiderman or something, but still. I died.


Aw, my bro!! The funniest person I know and my favorite person in the world, Pat is always good for a laugh. In fact, often times I hate him for being funnier than I am. Okay, who am I kidding--no one is funnier than I am. The problem is that I work damn hard at it and for him it's just effortless.

P.Bahr showed up with this....lovely mustache/soul patch combo. I made him shave it immediately.

I like puzzles. And for Christmas Spenc gave me a Wicked puzzle! Hardest. Shit. In. The. World. I enlisted Patrick's help for part of it, but after a while even he gave up and walked away. My real problem was time. There was never. Any. Time. No time for Geometry, no time for singing, no time for puzzles...I'm so excited, I'm so excited, I'm so....scared. In the end I had to just pack up the puzzle and leave it for another day. But I will conquer you Wicked puzzle, oh YES I will....


My sister is a special spirit. And she and I get along for approximately six hours before I say something snarky, and then she overreacts, and then I get pissed, and then she storms off, and then we're at each other's throats until the final day when she says to me "you know I really am going to miss you." It's a cycle that is repeated every single visit---never fails.

In actuality, she's just a carbon copy of me. We may fight, but we do take great pictures together!
"I'm giving you broken doll!"

"A present? For me?!"
Loves it. Her. It. Her.

*Overhead shots

A Melissa Bahr staple, overhead shots ended up happening over the week.

If you look on M's facebook, she has at least a thousand pictures just like these. She does a good job at it, but Patrick and I had to really show her how it's done.

Flawless. Tyra Banks, where is my call?

*Group Shots

BarbBahr loves herself a group shot! And I think we ended up doing pretty good for ourselves, don't you think?

*Ugly Sweaters

Pat had a fun idea for us all to bring our ugly sweaters home and wear them on Christmas morning. If you look closely, you can see my perfectly wrapped presents in the background. The wrapping paper was argyle. ARGYLE!

Melissa didn't have an ugly sweater, so this is the closest I could find in her closet.

The picture is so cheesy, I don't even have a funny quip for it. What are you people doing to me?

*Ohio U
After an unfortunate incident with a gas can, we all piled in the car and drove down to Athens, Ohio to see where Melissa will hopefully be attending college in the fall. Ohio University has a GORGEOUS campus. Seriously, it was the dead of winter with no snow on the ground or leaves on the trees but I still wanted to live there. It reminded me of a mix between Logan and Soho. Logan because of the college town feel, and Soho because of the cobble stone streets. It was really great to see where she'll potentially be living next year! I wish I could go back to college....

*We now interrupt this program for a quick word from our sponsors.

This blog post is possible thanks to viewers like you and our sponsor, Snuggie!

It's a blanket with sleeves!!!! Please check out one of our customers wearing a fur version.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

*Barnes and Noble
During a bathroom trip to B & N, Pat and I were waiting for Justine to come out of the ladies room. I look to my left, and saw the combination of books above, sitting right next to each other. Tell me, what section would have two books called "Unwrap Me" and "The Magical Christmas Cat" sitting right next to each other? Female literary porn and a book about a magical Christmas Cat. So odd. Actually....porn...?....cats? Waitaminute--it's like someone made a section about me! If I had seen a book about candy, well, that would have just been freaky.

*Cousin Tragedy

I loves me some Cousin Tragedy! We only get to see each other about twice a year, so when we do get together it is great times!

We always start out the night sweet, friendly, and quiet.

But by the end of the night we done be gettin' wild and crazy!

Careful with that glass Justine, you know what white wine does to you!

Love me some Cousin T!

*Paparazzi Shots

For some reason the drinks get flowin and the paparazzi start coming out. What's that all about?

Can't you just leave me alone? Famous people have feelings too!

*Karaoke Idol

Would a vacation of mine be complete without some form of karaoke?

I'm not sure if she just wanted a turn or was angry about something. At any rate, Patrick why is your shirt so GD big?!

*Marley and Me

Towards the end of my visit, we all decided to take in a movie together. Enter Marley and Me. Warning: DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE IF YOU HAVE EVER OWNED, PETTED, OR SEEN A DOG!! It is emotionally manipulating and painful. Jen Aniston puts out a great performance though and the movie has reconfirmed my love for her. Owen Wilson, however, can suck it.
Two days later, and I'm on a plane back to the NYC. It was a great visit and I was so thankful that I was able to take the time off and get back home. It was great to go home, but good to come home also. Thank you so much for tuning in to this special Christmas edition of the Photo Bonanza and a good day to ya' and yours.
Now it's time, to say goodbye, to all our company.
M - I- C......
"See ya real soon!"

"Why? Because we love you!"



Laurie said...

you crack me up. i loved the "Melissa didn't have an ugly sweater, so this is the closest I could find in her closet" because I can SO see you going through all of her clothes and when you pulled that out, i'm sure that's where the snarky comments came in. haha i miss you bahrs so much!

Anonymous said...

The intro, the superimposed pictures, the "quick word from our sponsors", the paparazzi photos, the inapporopriate book next to the cat book... all of it... GENIUS! Bravo, Brian. BRA-VO.

Harajuku Justine

SB said...

Would your family consider adopting me? I have to warn you that I come with baggage (in the form of two toddlers) but they're usually good for a laugh.

Anonymous said...

thanks for the photo bonaza! it was great. my brother is so creative even when he is being a bitch about the rules of celebrity....
i am funnier than you...Love Patrick J

Laurie said...

The unknown question is - did you play loaded questions? without the rest of the fam there, you are missing a primitive monkey ego! Great pics and blog - very much enjoyed it! LYL


*bear said...

your red sweater is very Michelle Kwan.....wow.