Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Heidi's Celebrity "Sightings"

I have a dear friend named Heidi. And I love her very, very much. However, she's admittedly a little crazy and we all know and accept this fact. Sorry, is crazy too harsh of a word? Let's go with..."passionate." When Heidi becomes "passionate" about something she doesn't let anything get in her way whether it be obsession....I mean..."passion" for "Rent," Real Soccer, or cats. Another thing Heidi is "passionate" about is Sundance, and with Sundance that comes Celeb Chasing. Now I will admit to attending Sundance a few times and I may or may not have chased after MTV News anchor Suchin Pak once, but I've never gone quite to the extremes that Heidi has. Now that my Celeb Chasing days are over, I leave it up to Heidi to grab all of the great pictures and this year looks like it was more successful than ever. I now present to you Heidi's Celebrity Sightings in order from least impressive to most impressive.
17. Linda Hogan
Looking ever so Trannylicious, I'm surprised Heidi agreed to take a picture with her while she was wearing fur. I expect more from you Heids. You know, when you look at Linda and Hulk Hogan, it's pretty easy to see where Brooke and Nick get looks from. Eeeeyikes.
16. Winnona Judd
Here is Heidi with another Tranny, this time an alcoholic one. She looks like something out of Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. I mean, does she really expect us to believe that is NOT a wig? I imagine she smells like cupcakes, potpourri, and bourbon.
15. Jesse Czinakskljaflkd from "The Bachelor"
I would have put Jesse lower on the list, but I didn't want him to cry about it. I'm shocked he was able to step away from the slopes for two minutes to take a picture. Oh wait! Don't talk about snowboarding because that will remind him of Denver and that will remind him of his parents and that will remind him of that one time he brought Deanna home to meet his parents and that will remind him of the time that Deanna dumped his after after they were engaged for a little bit. And we don't want Jesse to cry, now do we?!
14. The Kardashian kids.....or the Pussycat Dolls.....
I'm truly not sure which one.
13. Alan Cumming
Okay, truthfully I'm not that impressed with Alan Cumming. I mean, who HASN'T met Alan Cumming? I met him drunk at a Scissor Sisters concert once. I was walking into the VIP room to find Doug, who had ABANDONED ME and I ran right into him. I said "Hi Alan Cumming, I'm looking for my friend Doug." Then I found Doug, said "I found him. Bye Alan Cumming" and walked out. Then I told Amanda Seyfried that she was the best part of Mean Girls which was clearly a lie but I was drunk, sue me. Anyway, he WAS in X-Men 2 and Josie and the Pussycats, so I'll give him a little credit. But not much.
12. Matthew Lillard
Wait? Matthew Lillard? Like, from "Scream" and "Scooby Doo?"! You mean he's still ALIVE?!!!! Wow, he is lookin' um....good? Hell I'm impressed he just hasn't gone to rehab yet! Good for you Heidi, for finding a celebrity as elusive as Bigfoot!! Because let's face it, this is probably the last time any of you will see Matthew Lillard for a good seven years.
11. Dave Annable from "Brothers and Sisters"
Truthfully? Not s'much a fan of the Dave Annable. I think he sucks on the show and isn't really that cute. However, he and Heidi look so good together I had to include this picture. Just look at them! They could be a couple, really. Start working on that Heidi.
10. Patton Oswalt
Even though he looks a little rapey here, I know my parents love "King of Queens" and would appreciate seeing him so high up on the list. Nice face, Heidi.
9. 5iddy Cent
I'm just proud of Heidi for getting out of this snapshot alive. Look at her face though--you can clearly see she's terrified. What the hell was he there for, anyway? Is Sundance an easier place to make drug deals that South Side LA or something? He confuses me. And he has horse teeth. The end.
8. Parker Posey
I love love love me some Parker Posey. And normally she'd be much higher up on the list. But I think Heidi has met her before. Like twice. It's very possible even three times. Wouldn't you, after seeing a celebrity you've already met, be like "pass on by?" I'm telling you--Heidi is very "Passionate" about celebrities.
7. Dominic Cooper
Oh Dominic Cooper....oh, oh, oh. Won't you "lay all your love on me?" Please, "Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie" some Dom Cooper. Oh, "Mamma Mia" he is so hot, he makes me feel like a "Dancing Queen." "SOS" he done be lookin' good. I could really use some "Money, Money, Money." Yeah, that last one doesn't work so well, just wanted to throw it out there.
6. Peter Gallagher.
I think she's met Peter before as well, but I couldn't put Sandy Cohen any lower than six. I just couldn't! Best. TV Dad. EVER.
5. Robin Williams
Sure, he's totally crazy. Sure, he's probably gay. Sure, his hands are abnormally hairy. But it's Robin Williams! Mrs. Doubtfire! Say what you will, the man is a comedic legend. Even if he isn't really that funny....
4. David Guintoli from "Road Rules"
You may recognize Dave from Road Rules. You may also recognize him from The Real World/Road Rules Challenge. You may ALSO recognize him as the hot gay soldier from Grey's Anatomy. Or you may recognize him as my boyfriend. At any rate...wait--is that a microphone in his hand? Is he DOING the interviews? Boo....He deserves more than that. And look at that HOT piece of meat next to him!! That is one pink lady. She looks like those disgusting "Snowball" cupcakes.
3. Soleil Moon Frye
Punky. Fruckin. Brewster. IT'S PUNKY! "Maybe the world is blind, or just a little unkind, don't know. Seems you can't be sure. Bout anything anymore. Oh no. You may be crying and then one day you're smiling again. Every time I turn around! Her spirit lifts my heart up off the ground..." Ugh. I used to love this show so much. Except for the episode where they were playing hide and go seek and Cherry go stuck in the freezer and almost died. That episode really scared me. That one and the fire episode when Harry's studio caught on fire. And the episode where he had a heart attack. And the one where they lost Brandon the dog. Looking back on it....this show was really scary.
2. Ewan McGregor
Now that's some good lookin' people right thurr. And it's Ewan McGregor, the charming Sitar player. Good job, Heidi! Hottie McHott!
and number 1....

Even though "Yes Man" sucked, even though he shouldn't try dramas, it's still Jim Carrey. He's the Robin Williams of our generation and I'm surprised she was able to ambush him and get a picture. It would be my thinking that he wouldn't be nice enough to stop for one. Was Jenny McCarthy there as well? I've always liked her. Remember when she hosted Singled Out and then Carmen Electra took over and the show sucked? I always liked Singled Out....

...I'm getting distracted too easily today. Perhaps I should go get breakfast. Thanks to Heidi for the pictures and stay tuned for next year's Sundance. Who KNOWS who she'll stalk....I mean, MEET, there. :)


doug said...

Jim Carrey is your number 1?! Hmmm... To each his own. Had I been compiling this list, Ewan would certainly have been number 1. Jim and Robin would have been together at the very bottom of the list. Parker Posey would be up there pretty high. At least half of these people wouldn't be on my list because I wouldn't know who they were.

And is that pot smoke hovering around 5iddy?

Anonymous said...

Wish I could have been there to yell out....FIDDY

Heidi said...

A few notes:
-Way to steal my blog thunder
-I was in the prosess of making fun of Lindas fur when I relized it was her.
-Wynonna says shes "not a celeb but an artist"
-Its the Kardahians and Adrienne Bailon
-I needed a new pic w/ Alan because Barbara never gave me a copy of the first one.
-I LOVE Mattheew Lliard. I would gladly be his wife. I think he is amazing. He is the reaseon I loved Christian Anderson in RENT.
-I hate Brothers and Sisters But look at Dave.
-Patton said we had to walk with him to take a pic. So I did. Hence the face.
-50 almost got in a fight right before. He took a pic with me because "You look better then these guys"
-Never mey Parker. Not once.
-I shouted "I loved you in Guys and Dolls" He loved it.
-I talked to DAve for like 20 mins. He is awesome. And the girl in Pink is my friend. BE NICE.
-Why was Punky so high on the list?
-Ewan and Jim were both VERY VERY NICE! I was impressed with both of them they are pure class. Esp since the first pic with Ewan we had to chase him a little...

annette said...

A. The reason why Jim Carrey SHOULD attempt dramas can be found in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. One of my top three favorite movies and guaranteed to make me cry and reevaluate my life.

B. Doug said it best when he pointed out that Ewan should be number 1. I have to give Heidi props for keeping her cool--I would have been attempting to dry-hump him during the photo op which is very tricky considering how far my baby bump is protruding right now.

C. Why haven't I met Alan Cumming? I love him. LOVE him. Not in the same way I love Ewan, but it's strong just the same.

D. Does Soleil Moon Fry's appearance in Sabrina the Teenage Witch move her further up or farther down the list?

E. Did I use the terms "further" and "farther" correctly in D?

F. I'm done.

Sarah said...

Ewan McGreggor has been on my top 3 for many years now. Something about having his "gift" be his "song" or something... mmm...

Secondly: remember that Punky Brewster where Cherri's cousin's little sister ate poison and Cherri's cousin couldn't read so she couldn't help her when she called the poison control center? Damn right that show was scary!

Joshua said...

I just need to say that the freezer episode of Punky gave me nightmares.

Jacelle said...

Woah. Girl is dedicated. I loved your thoughts on delicate Jessie from the bachelorette. I would have loved to ask him how it felt to have his penis card revoked before an entire nation. Pretty sure he had sluffed school to go shred on the day they taught stiff upper lipness...

Ramsey said...

OMG! The freezer episode gave me nightmares too!!

All I have to say is that Heidi's hair looks fantastic in all these photos. Good job Heidi.