Friday, February 27, 2009

It's a Sunshine Day

It's a GORGEOUS day here in the New City of York, and what better type of day to have off work!!  I took the day so I can really focus my energies and pack pack pack!!  Took the kittens to the vet this morning and they got a glowing report card.  They both fit in their travel case, so that was nice, and were well behaved at the vet.  Hard to believe I only have a few days left with them.  British Ben comes for a visit next Wednesday and it'll be great to see him again.  Feels like he left just yesterday!  Not a whole lot of news to report today.  There are screaming kids outside of my window (that's what I get for living across from a school) but the little girl in the hallway who said "hi kitty" to Carrie and Big totally makes me just forget about those brats screaming....seriously WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?!  Okay--I'm out.  Wish me lots of luck this weekend and we'll be back again Monday.  Same time, same place.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Tina-na-naaaaa!!!

Seriously?


Are you kidding me?


Do you even KNOW what time it is?

You're louder than my pants!!

Living in New York, I'm no stranger to loud noises. Sirens, people yelling, horns honking, this is all relatively normal to me. But this morning, I experienced some of the loudest, most annoying, most innapropriate noises I've ever heard. I've been having some trouble sleeping lately but can usually sleep through until my alarm goes off. I was abruptly awoken by this loud offensive sound. I looked at the clock-- "6:14!!! AM?!" I looked out the window and this is what I saw:


Construction. Not only right outside my window, it sounded like it was RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW, as in, on the fire escape. Who in the WORLD does construction at 6:14 in the morning? Isn't that illegal!? If it could be captured in a picture, it would be this:

Times like, a million. If the noise were a person, it would be

Fran Dreshcher.
I was seriously so upset. I am definitely NOT going to miss living right by the street after I move. Speaking of moving, AH! Four days!!! I'm terribly behind, but even that isn't going to stop me from hitting up Ariba, Ariba tonight. No, sir! Taking the day off work tomorrow so hopefully the majority of my stuff will be completed then and I can hang out Saturday night guilt free. Well, guilt free except for the guilt that I'll feel from sending my kittens away. I wonder if this is what mothers who give their kids up for adoption feel. While packing some clothes away last night, I came across a suitcase I hardly ever use. I decided to check in the compartments to see if there was anything in there and this is what I came across:

Ya'll don't even UNDERSTAND. I have been looking for these ties for the past YEAR!! When I moved my stuff to NYC in December '07, I also packed with me a few ties. I get to my place, and I can't find them anywhere. I thought for sure I had just thrown them away with the boxes and misc. stuff. HELLZ NO! I FOUND THEM!! It was a happy moment for all involved. So, me.
Speaking of happy moments, I also came across an old friend last night while channel surfing.

Tina Fey: This week, soul diva Diana Ross was sentenced to two days in jail for her drunk driving arrest in Tucson last year. Here now, via satellite from a women's prison in Los Angeles, is Diana Ross.
Diana Ross: Oooooooh! Hello, Tina! Ow!
Tina Fey: Hi, Diana. How's it going?
Diana Ross: Not good, Tina! I'm in jail! and, let me tell you something - in jail, they do not call me "Miss Ross." They call me "Inmate #54899-B." Ow!
Tina Fey: Wow. So, how are they treating you in there?
Diana Ross: Jail is not a spa, Tina. I realized that, once I got here and looked around for the sauna and the bowl of fresh, green apples. All I found was a tiny rom with a stinky little terlet with no lid, and a very grumpy bunkmate named Roberta.

Tina Fey: Well, since we've got you here on live TV, is there anything you want to say to your fans?
Diana Ross: Yessssss! Tina-na-naaa! What I would like to say is: Remember that scene in "Mahogony", those fantastic photos of me looking glamorous in Rome! Jail is not like that, Tina. Although, really, there is someone that's a dead-ringer for Billy Dee Williams - except her name is Roberta! I mean, she got a moustache and everything!
Tina Fey: How long have you been in there so far, Miss Ross?
Diana Ross: About twenty minutes! I'm not gonna make it, Tina!
Tina Fey: It's okay, it's okay, Diana. You'll be okay.
Diana Ross: No, it's not! They took away my Emory board and my hot comb! I'm freakin' out, Tina!
Tina Fey: Ohhhh, I am so sorry --

Diana Ross: Hey, Tinaaaaaaaa!! Remember in the 1960's, when I was in the fabulous girl-group The Supremes?
Tina Fey: Yeah.
Diana Ross: And I had twelve #1 songs and eighten Top 10 hits?
Tina Fey: Yes. Of course. We all remember that, yeah. Diana Ross: Jail is not like that either, Tina! It's quite the opposite! One minute, you're returning your copy of "V.I. Warshawski" to a Blockbuster in Tucson; and, the next thing you know, you're in the hoosegow! I'm in the pokie, Tina! I'm in the joint! The slammer! The clink! The can! Uh-oh, I gotta go.. Roberta needs to go to sleep, and she says if I make any noise she's gonna shank me! Tina-na-naaa!
Tina Fey: Diana Ross! Diana Ross, everybody!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Isn't She Lovely?



Ah, just look at her. Ain't she pretty? I think she's pretty much the prettiest thing I've ever seen. Well, almost. It's not nearly as pretty as this:


Or this:


Or this:


But it sure is ril pretty. On a side note, I think that Zac Efron has a small peen. Just an observation. So yeah, what was I talking about? Oh! My new toy!


Ugh, I can't stand it. She's so gorgeous. So yes, after the death of my computer this week (by my own hands! I'm a murderer!) I took the plunge and paid one month's rent to have a new MacBook! I haven't had a chance to go through all of the fun features but I can tell already that this is going to be a life-changer, just like my iPhone. It'll make so many things easier, one of them being the filming of my TyraShow spots. I feel a new obsession coming on. Speaking of obsessions...


Miss Kelly Clarkson you are doing me and you are doing me but good. I have not been able to turn off her new cd. Like, physicall unable. Every time I start to listen to other music I just end up going back to hers. She's amazing.
Something that is less than amazing, however, are the prices for the storage spaces I'm looking at.


If you think the "as low as $29" is too good to be true, well, it is. Dr. Mike and I are looking at places to keep our stuff while we're both in limbo and oh my gay is it expensive. As in, $300 a MONTH. I'm hoping that we can fit our stuff into a smaller space so as to reduce the costs a bit but who knew that keeping your shit in a small room would be so pricey! Going to check out the spaces after work today, but I have to go to Ant's, I have to pick up more boxes, and I have, essentially, the entire contents of my apartment to pack still. There's really just not enough hours in the day. There's not a lot of time, nope. No time, no time, there's never any time!!!

There's no time for singing


no time for Geometry


I'm so excited!

I'm so excited!


I'm so........scurred.


Oh, and someone buy me this shirt please.

Thank you.

Speaking of no time, I've found it very hard to make sure I watch all of the contents saved in my DVR lately. As such, I've had to break-up with a few shows that I've watched for years but just haven't kept my attention lately. I'm sorry, when I'd rather watch "RuPaul's Drag Race" over you...well...it means I'm crazy, but it also means your show sucks. At the beginning of the season I broke up with "Chuck."

I was mostly sad to leave Zachary Levi, but it had to happen.


Next to fall was "One Tree Hill."
It's the poor man's Dawson's Creek (sorry Billy) and while I enjoyed it last season and the beginning of this season, I have too many shows that conflict with the time slot that I had to give it up. Plus, I REALLY hate some of the acting on the show (I'm talking to YOU James Lafferty and the black guy who plays Skillz).

Yesterday, I encountered quite possibly the hardest break-up of all.

"Heroes"!!!!!

I just can't do it anymore. The plot lines have gotten ridiculous and CONFUSING and this is coming from a former comic book geek!!! Plus I found that I hate the majority of the actors on the show. Milo, Ali Larter, Hayden Panniterrible, Mohinder, the Asian guy....I just can't handle them any more so I'm ripping off the band-aid. Seems that is happening a lot this week! Oh my God, you know what I should do? I should make one of those "R.I.P." shirts for Carrie and Big!! They have them for B.I.G. and Tupac


It would be totally fetch to have one for the kittens.

Oh, I'll miss those hairy little buggars. Sorry the blog has been a little sparse this week, but I have been racing around like a mad-man. Hopefully things will calm down next week. Enjoy your hump day!

The Face Says It All

Monday, February 23, 2009

Monday Tidbits

Happy Monday everyone. You know how I feel about Monday's, so I'll say that I'm cranky and tired and we'll move on. I've got a bit of an overwhelming week coming up, with lots of moving crap to do and we're T-Minus 6 days on saying goodbye to the kittens. While I'm not going to miss being a "cat lady," I'm absolutely going to miss them.


So how much am I loving deaf Luke and his mom Margie on this season's "Amazing Race?"

He's adorable, they work well together, and I love me a good handi. This season has midgets, gay dad and gay son, black girls, asians, and a deaf guy. It's like a diversity training within a reality show.

Friday was a heavenly day as Kelly Clarkson's new album was leaked on the internet.

I'm a fan of Kelly with whatever she does but I have to say, the album is amazing. A-MAH-zing. There are a number of songs where I'm like "oh, she sounds like so and so" but other than that and one or two boring ballads, the album is perfection. Of course, I accidentally clicked a link that caused my computer to crash, never to return, but I was planning on getting a laptop soon anyway.

Saturday night was the opening night party for B.A.D. (Big Apple Dodgeball) It was tons o' fun and great to see peeps I haven't seen in a few weeks. I found out that I'm on TEAM EAGLE!!!

The Eagle is a bar in the meatpacking district (he he) that is known for leather, daddies, and leather daddies. One of my favorite New York memories involved Spencer and visiting this bar, before we knew what kind of bar it was. At the time it was terrifying but looking back--hilarious. Tonight is the first night that the "Balled Eagles" (yeah, I know) will be playing and while I could use to stay home and pack, hopefully it'll be a fun time and I won't break anything.

Did you hear that the Oscars were last night? I had the please of watching it with some Game Night people and about nine chocolate chip cookies, pretzels, and beer. Yum in my tum. I was very pleased with the show, entertained, and generally happy with all the winners. A few thoughts:

Best Dressed:

Now I love SJP, that much is well known. But I truly believe she was one of the best dressed at the awards last night. The kind of off-white sea foam green, tulle skirt, and belt? Perfection. Upon a closer view, however, I noticed something I haven't really noticed before.

HelllOOOOOOOO boobies! Where the hell did those come from?! I mean, I know that they're pretty pushed up there but holy mama!!! SJ 32D is more like it!


Perfection

Natalie Portman is perfection and can do no wrong. This skit with Ben Stiller was v. v. funny, but her amazing look made it all the better. Another favorite of mine?


Oscar nominee herself Anne Hathaway. Gorgeous.


Less Than Perfection

Slutty Cyrus apparently didn't get the memo that the Little Mermaid auditions had been canceled.

I really, really don't like her. Miley Fail.


Hot Tranny Mess Part 1


I thought that RuPaul's Drag Race was on Monday's nights? What is Miss. Dementia doing at the Oscars.....wait....that's who? Sophia Loren? Oh...my...um.....scary clown!!!


Hot Tranny Mess Part 2
Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with Cojo's face?


Hilarity at the Oscars? Since when?!
Two moments that had me DYING were:

Seth Rogan and James Franco "Pineapple Expressing" all over the serious nominees. If you saw it, you know what I'm talking about. Awesome.


Steve Martin and Tina Fey's into speech for Best Screenplay. Deadpan, brilliant time, two true comedic geniuses. I'm just so sad that Steve Martin didn't bring out his banjo band.



Hot Tranny Mess Part 3


Musical numbers? Good.
Hugh Jackman, Beyonce, Zefron, Amanda Seyfried, Dominic Cooper on one stage? Bueno.
Musical numbers of songs from musicals? Si.

The musical number starring said stars at last night's ceremony? NEIN. It was just messy, uncoordinated, and didn't flow very well. I felt like I was having a bit of an epileptic seizure for the majority of it. Maybe next time kiddies.


Score one for the homos


Dustin Lance Black winning Best Original Screenplay for "Milk." Who knew there were hot writers out there!!! He had such a touching speech and I'm not going to lie that I got a little teary when he thanked his mother for ''loving me for who I am,'' and when he addressed all the ''gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who...are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value.'' Well, except for this gay creature.

I don't know that he's beautiful or wonderful. As far as his value...well...that's debatable.


Score Two for the homos



Sean Penn gone done and won the Best Actor Oscar! I thought that Mickey Rourke might win, but had a feeling in my gut all night that Sean would take it. "You commie, homo-loving sons of guns." Hilarious! I thought he had a great speech and hearing all of the support for equal rights coming from him and the majority of the awards was a nice surprise. Sure enough if the tears didn't come again....

And who can forget...


The hair? meh. The dress? eh. The win? AMAZING. So happy for her.
New blog up on Tyrashow.com
Check it out here

Off to get some work done before Dball tonight. Peace oot bitches.