Monday, February 23, 2009

Monday Tidbits

Happy Monday everyone. You know how I feel about Monday's, so I'll say that I'm cranky and tired and we'll move on. I've got a bit of an overwhelming week coming up, with lots of moving crap to do and we're T-Minus 6 days on saying goodbye to the kittens. While I'm not going to miss being a "cat lady," I'm absolutely going to miss them.

So how much am I loving deaf Luke and his mom Margie on this season's "Amazing Race?"

He's adorable, they work well together, and I love me a good handi. This season has midgets, gay dad and gay son, black girls, asians, and a deaf guy. It's like a diversity training within a reality show.

Friday was a heavenly day as Kelly Clarkson's new album was leaked on the internet.

I'm a fan of Kelly with whatever she does but I have to say, the album is amazing. A-MAH-zing. There are a number of songs where I'm like "oh, she sounds like so and so" but other than that and one or two boring ballads, the album is perfection. Of course, I accidentally clicked a link that caused my computer to crash, never to return, but I was planning on getting a laptop soon anyway.

Saturday night was the opening night party for B.A.D. (Big Apple Dodgeball) It was tons o' fun and great to see peeps I haven't seen in a few weeks. I found out that I'm on TEAM EAGLE!!!

The Eagle is a bar in the meatpacking district (he he) that is known for leather, daddies, and leather daddies. One of my favorite New York memories involved Spencer and visiting this bar, before we knew what kind of bar it was. At the time it was terrifying but looking back--hilarious. Tonight is the first night that the "Balled Eagles" (yeah, I know) will be playing and while I could use to stay home and pack, hopefully it'll be a fun time and I won't break anything.

Did you hear that the Oscars were last night? I had the please of watching it with some Game Night people and about nine chocolate chip cookies, pretzels, and beer. Yum in my tum. I was very pleased with the show, entertained, and generally happy with all the winners. A few thoughts:

Best Dressed:

Now I love SJP, that much is well known. But I truly believe she was one of the best dressed at the awards last night. The kind of off-white sea foam green, tulle skirt, and belt? Perfection. Upon a closer view, however, I noticed something I haven't really noticed before.

HelllOOOOOOOO boobies! Where the hell did those come from?! I mean, I know that they're pretty pushed up there but holy mama!!! SJ 32D is more like it!


Natalie Portman is perfection and can do no wrong. This skit with Ben Stiller was v. v. funny, but her amazing look made it all the better. Another favorite of mine?

Oscar nominee herself Anne Hathaway. Gorgeous.

Less Than Perfection

Slutty Cyrus apparently didn't get the memo that the Little Mermaid auditions had been canceled.

I really, really don't like her. Miley Fail.

Hot Tranny Mess Part 1

I thought that RuPaul's Drag Race was on Monday's nights? What is Miss. Dementia doing at the Oscars.....wait....that's who? Sophia Loren? clown!!!

Hot Tranny Mess Part 2
Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with Cojo's face?

Hilarity at the Oscars? Since when?!
Two moments that had me DYING were:

Seth Rogan and James Franco "Pineapple Expressing" all over the serious nominees. If you saw it, you know what I'm talking about. Awesome.

Steve Martin and Tina Fey's into speech for Best Screenplay. Deadpan, brilliant time, two true comedic geniuses. I'm just so sad that Steve Martin didn't bring out his banjo band.

Hot Tranny Mess Part 3

Musical numbers? Good.
Hugh Jackman, Beyonce, Zefron, Amanda Seyfried, Dominic Cooper on one stage? Bueno.
Musical numbers of songs from musicals? Si.

The musical number starring said stars at last night's ceremony? NEIN. It was just messy, uncoordinated, and didn't flow very well. I felt like I was having a bit of an epileptic seizure for the majority of it. Maybe next time kiddies.

Score one for the homos

Dustin Lance Black winning Best Original Screenplay for "Milk." Who knew there were hot writers out there!!! He had such a touching speech and I'm not going to lie that I got a little teary when he thanked his mother for ''loving me for who I am,'' and when he addressed all the ''gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who...are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value.'' Well, except for this gay creature.

I don't know that he's beautiful or wonderful. As far as his value...well...that's debatable.

Score Two for the homos

Sean Penn gone done and won the Best Actor Oscar! I thought that Mickey Rourke might win, but had a feeling in my gut all night that Sean would take it. "You commie, homo-loving sons of guns." Hilarious! I thought he had a great speech and hearing all of the support for equal rights coming from him and the majority of the awards was a nice surprise. Sure enough if the tears didn't come again....

And who can forget...

The hair? meh. The dress? eh. The win? AMAZING. So happy for her.
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Off to get some work done before Dball tonight. Peace oot bitches.


Hiba said...

I love Miley. And her dress. And I will be seeing the Hannah Montana movie.

Judge all you want.

Josh said...

Cojo's face is fat/swollen because he has had two kidney transplants. The anti-rejection drugs make your body do crazy things.

Amanda said...

You might feel a little bad in a second. The reason why Cojo's face is bloated is because a few years back he had kidney failure and had to have a transplant...the medication that he takes to make sure his body doesn't reject the new kidney makes him gain weight and his face to swell. Someone might want to limit the snark-factor *cough Briskey cough*

Anonymous said...

You really need to write a book b/c your hilarity has no limits!

annette said...

Miley drives me crazy. Plus she's in desperate need of a good dentist. Isn't she a mult-millionaire? Get that girl some veneers and a stylist, stat!

One of my favourite dresses of the evening was Amy Adams' gorgeous red number. Loved it.

Anonymous said...

I got a bruised hand yesterday from a 101-71 loss in Grand Junction's sunday old man basketball league. I did drop 13 points and six rebounds but this typing hurts my hand. I tell you this just to let you know I took care of hurting myself in a little kid game league for the Bahr family.

Kevin Doyle said...

MY take...

- SJP looks like a man. STILL. (and a kinda ugly guy at that) Talk about a drag race.

- have always liked Natalie Portman and Anne Hathaway. Seems they dress classy and that's always the way to go. Why others move to 'flash' I'll never know.

- yeah, Sophia Loren should stop trying. She's like 90 or something. But it was a lot of fun to 'comment' about her.

- Steve Martin is brilliance personified. I will look the other way at your 'banjo band' slam.

I don't know who Cojo is. I thought it was Charity Bono and wondered why she had a name like Cojo.

The opening number sucked, big time. The only host I ever really enjoyed was Billy Crystal because he would do spoofs of all the major movies nominated. I still remember the year they did them all with the Brady Bunch actors.

Heidi said...

Love Miley, Hate Anne Boring Hathway, totally agree on Kate look, and Doug is a writer and he is HOT.

doug said...

Thank you, Heidi. I couldn't figure out whether I should take that "who knew there are hot writers?" statement personally - but instead I will just choose to ignore it and focus on Heidi's comment instead. :)

Also. I almost threw up at that Milkman's speech. Maybe my level of cynicism has become ridiculous, but I am so tired of, "Poor me, a sad little gay Mormon boy - I just can't get over it yet!" He said his parents moved him out of a conservative Mormon home in Texas to California. Wait? Were they only conservative Mormons in Texas, but loving liberals in California? Yeah, he's cute. Yeah, he wrote a good movie. Yeah, I think he's probably a nice guy. But just because you have the chance to stand in front of millions of people and pat yourself on the back for surviving those evil, evil Mormons doesn't mean you should.

Also. Sean Penn bravely supporting gay rights is about as moving and unexpected as, well, Sean Penn bravely supporting any liberal cause.

Also. I may or may not have been watching the Oscars with a group of people who were annoying me terribly. And that bitterness may or may not have carried over to this comment.