Monday, March 16, 2009

The Top 15 People from TV I'd Like to Hang With

The title kind of explains it all. Kinda of like #8.....

The Top 15 People From Television I'd Most Like to Hang Out WIth

#15. Bob and Jillian: The Biggest Loser

If I was planning on doing something outdoorsey, or like, semi-athletic, Bob and Jillian would be the perfect friends to take along. But then afterwards I would suggest getting a frozen yogurt or going to a restaurant and they would shamelessly promote Extra gum to me or Subway, or Glaad Freezer Bags to me instead. And don't even think about asking them out for a drink--"empty calories" they'd say. No, our friendship would stay strictly in the gym.

#14. Jim Halpert: The Office

Ideally Jim would be higher on the list. Ideally, it would be a "friends with benefits" type friendship. But frankly I think Jim would be kinda boring. I mean, he works at a Paper Supply Company how exciting can he be? But he likes himself some practical jokes, and he's a sweet, upstanding guy, I think we'd be buds.

#13. Veronica Mars: Veronica Mars

What up K.Bell?! While I'd rather hang with Kristen herself, Veronica will have to do. Witty, charming and always to the point, Veronica is amazing. Although, trouble does seem to find her and her friends do seem to mysteriously die a lot.....perhaps it's best to keep Veronica lower on the list.

#12. Nigel Barker: America's Next Top Model

Nigel can...
...always help you find your light. you when you fall in your high heels.
...give you a boner.
What more can you ask of a friend?!

#11. Lorelei and Rory Gilmore: Gilmore Girls
Oh, how I miss these girls. With Zip Zap conversation and pop culture references, Rory and Lorelei were always a good time. But they were really each other's best friend so there's no getting close to these two. As it is though, they're usually good for a town square party or a late night burger--as long as you're okay with the fact that they come as a set.

#10. Lizzzzz LEMON!: 30 Rock

So she's a little lonely sad girl, who isn't? We can be lonely sad girls together! Besides, Liz has got all kinds of great connections to people at NBC. Maybe some time she, Jenna, Tracey and I can all hang out together! How swell would that be?! Almost as swell as the Liz Lemon phrase "I want to go to there."

#9. Colin Gosselin: Jon and Kate Plus 8

Clearly, this kid is the shit. He's awesome. He'll just go up and push one of his brothers or sisters down for no reason. He's daring, fun, playful, and really just a cool guy. As long as that wretched KateZilla isn't around, I'm totally down to hang with Colin.

#8. Clarissa: Clarissa Explains It All

Cause that bitch explains it all.

#7. Blair Waldorf: Gossip Girl

I would only want to hang out with Blair if I was on her good side. Because if I wasn't....yikes. Watch out. But she knows all of the hip places to go, she's always on top of the latest fashions and she's a diva bitch so she'll totally take someone out for you if they wrong you. Sure she's two-timing and villanous, but that's what makes me love her so!

#6. Marc and Amanda: Ugly Betty/Jack and Karen: Will and Grace

Because, let's face it, they're pretty much the same characters. Sassy gay boy with sassier fag hag. Marc and Amanda have sort of a Scotty Evans/Bridget vibe while Jack and Karen is totally Quentin and Juliana. I'd be lucky to hang out with any of those bitches and would be having a fun time doing it!

#5. Zack Morris: Saved By the Bell

Zack Morris is the shiiiiiiiiiiit! Always down for an adventure, always up for fun, and let's face it, probably down for experimenting with his sexuality, you know Zack is the ultimate party dude. I believe he said so himself in his bid for school song "Surfer Dude." As long as that wretched Screech wasn't around or the Steroid poppin' Slater, I'd be cool with hanging with Zack. He can bring those three babes of his around any time--Lisa, Kelly, and Jesse are awesome. But make sure to leave that Tori lesbian at home, yo!

#4. Ryan Seacrest: American Idol/Kat Deeley: So You Think You Can Dance

I'd be down to hang with these two--separately--but in the same night. Due to the fact that Ryan has like, eight bajillion jobs and probably goes to bed at 8:30, we'd have an early bird romantic dinner, a romantic stroll, then back to his place for a quickie. Then I'd meet up with Kat around 9:00, do drinks, dancing, and late night pizza. The perfect combination for the perfect night!

#3. Kelly Kapoor: The Office

Look at that bitch. Kelly's amazing. We could talk about the latest gossip, fashion, and beauty tips and be perfectly content doing nothing. I used to have a Kelly Kapoor. Oh well. You know that Kelly is in pursuit of fun, and would always be down to stalk celebrities or go shopping. Love me some Kelly!

#2. Melissa Howard: The Real World, New Orleans

If anyone has seen the New Orleans season of The Real World, you can understand why I'd want to hang out with Melissa. This girl is the funniest reality star I have EVER seen (Thrift City!) but also has a good head on her shoulders. Sure, she can bring the dramz, but what good friend can't?! I wonder what she's up to these days...maybe she'll want to hang out with me...Melissa--call me!!

#1. Carrie Bradshaw

Bitches, please. Like you had any doubt.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Shout Out bitch! Love you!

PS I miss my Quentin/Juliana days!


Anonymous said...

I would also like to thank you for the shout-out. I miss my Q. I'm just not the same fag-hag without him.