Friday, May 29, 2009

Don't Be Hatin'

Big apologies to Spencer but....

...Taylor Swift looks a bit like an alien. And she sounds kinda like a bleating horse.

Look at me hatin' on people's faces today--what is wrong with me? I promise I'm a nice (ish) person! And I can TOTALLY be nice to people I don't like! I can! For instance:

"My my Kate, you look lovely. I love your hair. I'm sure the porcupine in the corner is very jealous."

Oh Ho!!! ZING!!! Okay....okay....sorry, that was a backhanded compliment, it's true. But I know I can be nice.

"Oh, hey Cruz Beckham, what up? Look at you being all...short and small....and trying to be like your dad. I bet that's fun, huh? I bet you like soccer, yeah? Aw, that's sweet. Too bad you'll never be as good as your father and you'll never live up to his expectations!"

Eek, sorry. I got a little carried away. Tried to be nice but Cruz get's my blood boiling. Let's try another one.

Nope. I can't even try to be nice. Pass.

Oh hey look--it's Kristen Stewart, the "Twilight" girl!

"Hey there Kris. I like your um....your cross!! It's a pretty cool cross! And um...your hair color isn't that bad either!"

I'm being nice! Ah! Incredible!

"So yeah, Kristen, look at me being nice to you. It's just too bad that I HATE YOUR FACE!" close.

Hm. Williams. Blog-stealer. I can barely look at you much less be nice to you. For the sake of my reading audience, however, I will try to say something nice.



Well, I tried. I guess once a bitch, always a bitch!


Heidi said...

I love this, I hate nearly all those people too!

SB said...

You are a very nice(ish) person!Way to be the bigger person. That's it, kill 'em with kindness!

Kelly said...

That hair is ruh'dic'uh'lus.