Monday, June 15, 2009

Cause it's Ladies Night...

Hey, yo. Monday. How you doin'? I's aight. Not too much to report over on my end. Had a relatively low-key Friday, a productive Saturday, and a laundry filled Sunday. Woot Woot. Truthfully I've welcomed the fact that the past week has been a bit on the mundane side. Between getting sick, Pride being next week, and then the many trips of July, I'll take any rest I can get.

One funny moment from this weekend involved me, Whole Foods, and Sheryl Crow.

Long story short, there's a boy and things aren't going the way I'd like them to. The end. Anyway, I'm in Whole Foods last night getting dinner and I'm just kind of mulling around, deciding what to get. I'm not even paying attention to what's going on around me, just very in my head, emotional, etc. Anyway, I start making my salad and I'm casually singing along to the song that they're playing above. Then I notice what I'm singing:

"If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?"

Sonofa....Moving On.

Saturday night I was lucky enough to be invited to the Kido clan's 2nd annual Girl's Night. While yes, mother, I do realize that I am a guy, every girl has to have her token gay and I just happen to be that for this group of lovely women. And it is a title I am more than happy to bear. What I didn't realize, however, is how girls like to dress up for Girls Night. I threw on a short sleeved button down and jeans, thinking I was totes aprop. While I looked fine, I paled in comparison to how amazing the girls looked--a fact that I continued to lament about the entire night. With a Girl's Night comes drinks, and with drinks come out the cameras, and with cameras comes....


Upon arrival, I was quick to discover that I was not alone in my choice of plaid/gingham. Thank you Bridget and...other blonde girl...for being my cohorts the entire evening!

I was also quick to discover something else when I arrived

WOAH!! Rachel, bringing the girls out to play! Seriously though--that is some movie star cleavage. You better work it bitch!

Even though all the girls brought it with their outfits, my favorite was probably Yasi's. It was SO Persian Carrie Bradshaw, I couldn't even handle it. Shutting it down, I say.
In addition to Rachel, Lisa was our other lovely hostess for the evening. In addition to Rachel, I also blame Lisa for putting out Brownies, thusly forcing me to have 1.....or 5. The other girl in this picture is adorable and so nice and sweet and...I forget her name EVERY single time. Oops, did it again.

Always good to see my girl Dara and talk about what's happening on the Bravo. She's got me RIL excited for "NYC Prep," the new season of Rachel Zoe in July, and the two (yes, two) Real Housewives of New Jersey reunions. My favorite thing about this picture is how Dara is WORKING that pose. At the bar later, she brought Sexy Back yet again.

You know what I smell, Dara? "Facebook profile picture!" Oh snap.

Just one of many pictures of me being an absolute dork. Here I am being the "token gay." Fabulous, fabulous indeed. My favorite is Kido's face in the background. Her inner monologue is saying something like "what the hell is he doing now?" Loves it.

After one big group picture (and me SLAMMING my head on the ceiling as I climbed the stairs to take the picture) we were ready to go dancing!

Oh yes Brian, dancing. Now, for those of you who don't know, straight people dancing is very, very different than when the homos go out and shake it. There are rules, there are certain moves you MUST do in order to fit in. A few of those moves:

The Shoulder Brush Off

The Break It Down in the Corner Alone

The Flirty, Sexy Pout

The raised eyebrow, model pout

The indifferent pout.

The Finger Point (bonus points if it's one handed because you're holding a drink in your other hand)

This picture is a double point move because we have the Lean and Roll as evidenced by Poulous and myself and then Kido is doing the Straight Girl Hand in the Air move. We know how to coordinate our moves, that's right.
At some point in the night apparently I started to get a little flirty?

I put a question mark because....

...I have no recollection of this nor do I remember it happening. I have, however, always wanted to see directly up my nose and in my mouth at the same time so at least something good came out of this situation.
A sloppier situation was Kido and myself breaking it down on the dance floor. Here we have three classic straight people "couple" moves. Naturally I'm putting my own spin on them.

The grind from behind/singing in ear move

The flip around/sing at your face move

The Pull you close/sing IN YOUR FACE move

Kido, my apologies for all three.
After our grind fest on the floor, Kido and I got together for the most uncoordinated photo shoot EVER.

Hey um...Brian? Kido? There's a camera. Look up please.

No, Kido. Kido!!! Kaka!! Over here!

Kido would you...GDammit Kaka! Focus!

Theeeeeeere we go. Finally. Off-center much?
After the photo shoot it was very clear to me that I was DUN for the night so I peaced out. I blame it all on the punch that Kalmas and Rachel provided. Blame it on the punch. I'm sad that I left though because it looks like I missed some fun at the after party. One word:


The night was so much fun (and very much needed) and it just made me THAT much more excited for Spring Break Real World Long Island Part 2: The Duel. Thanks again for inviting me along ladies, I'll be your token Gay any day of the week. Love you!

1 comment:

Kevin Doyle said...

Just for the record, no matter how drunk I may have been when dancing in the past, I have NEVER pulled the moves Brian has assigned to us straight males. Never.

I am guilty of the clumsy shuffle back and forth and Elaine Bennis kind of awkward spasm moves.