Monday, July 20, 2009

Spring Break Long Island Part 2: The Duel

Ah, Spring Break Long Island.

Another year come and gone, another fun time had, another 5 pounds added. I sure do love my girls and I sure do love coming back with a little more sun, with a little more damage to my liver, and with a little less dignity than I had Friday.

It's always so hard to capture the amount of fun that we had in a simple blog post but I feel like it's important that the story of Spring Break is out there. I think the tales need to be told so that our children, and our children's children, and our children's children's children will know of the wonder that is Spring Break Long Island.

Friday after work, Page Six, Spencer, Rachel, Yasi, Dara, and Kalmus and I braved the crowds at Penn Station and boarded a magical train known as the "Long Island Rail Road." It was this majestic mighty giant that would take us to...Spring Break. Upon this train Yasi introduced us to a fantastic thing called "Planet Smoothie" - also known as "Plant in a Cup." Seriously ya'll. That shit was nasty. Unfortunately, Rachel had a wedding Saturday night so she was only able to be with us for Friday. As it was though, we made sure to make the most of our time with her, while she made sure to memorize the LIRR train schedule. For sers. She studied that thing for like an hour.

I'm not sure if one can grasp the magnitude and the beauty that is the SPLI house.

Ne'er before has a more perfect setting for fun been fully realized and ne'er again will one match the brilliance of this house.

Ne'er. Just wanted to say 'ne'er' again. Please take time to notice the beer pong table. Because oh yes, that happened.

Our view from the yard. Please take a moment to be jealous of the fact that we were able to stare at this all weekend. I'll give you some time.

Okay. Moving on.

Upon arrival at the Spring Break house, we were joined by Kaka Kido, Bridget, Andrea, and Polous. Also, Kristina's AMAZING parents Elaine and Perry were there.

So gracious, so nice, and SO MUCH FUN! We popped a few bottles of wine, had some pizza, and started playing American Idol karaoke. Despite the fact that my team lost, would you be surprised if I told you that I was the only one to receive a perfect score? Aw yeah, that's right. There were some awesome group numbers

and some awesome back-up dancers.

Yes, that is me chowing away at the bottom of that picture. Due to the fact that I was Spring Break dieting the week prior, I took every opportunity I could to gain some weight. I also enjoyed everything guilt free.

Well, almost guilt free.

Spencer found himself some new friends

also known as Chester and Coco. They were adooooooorable. And I really do hope that's not my piece of pizza I put on the table so I could take the picture.....oh Brian....

After a night of trying to pee in the closet and passing out on the bathroom floor (oh Brian...) we were up bright and early for breakfast and to make the dips and various meals of the day.

Yeah, I don't really 'make things' but Katie and Page Six do!! I also happen to LOVE this picture.

After the adventures in the kitchen, we all threw on our bathing suits and started to lay out.

And LAY OUT we did. F'reals. I'm a lobster. There was all kinds of eye candy though.

Bathing beauties as far as the eye could see.

It was such a nice day out. We couldn't have asked for better weather! Some of us took the opportunity to catch up on our sleep while others caught up on their reading.

I'm sure Kalmus is reading some intellectual book, while Spencer took the manly route and read Kristen Chenowith's autobiography. Okay...I'm make fun...but I'm the one who actually asked Page Six to bring the book so maybe I should just....move on....

Before too long it was time to say goodbye to Rachel....

Sad face. However, with the departure of Rachel came the arrival of....


Straight boys, but still....boys! Straight boys of all shapes and sizes for us to flirt with from afar and envision futures with all the while never speaking a word to them. Yes, I'm talking to you Grey shirt Greek boy. I miss you still. In addition to the boys came the boyfriends, like

Matty Brand

and Dr. Nick.

Matt brought with him a wonderful game known as "Lawn Ball." I'm not even exaggerating when I tell you that this game kept us entertained for HOURS.

Long, long into the sunset....(so classy Matt)

and long into the night.....

That game saw more action than anyone in that house! Well, most anyone, but we'll get to that in a bit. Despite it being a very easy concept, for the life of me I couldn't figure out how the scoring works. I'm a simple minded man, what can I say?

As with any Spring Break, once the sun set

the drinks really started to flow and things were gettin' CARAZY ya'll!

The Costume changes happened

The fedoras started coming out

The photo ops happened

The drunk games were started

(You put Roofies in a suitcase?!?!)

And I started to get reeeeeeally gay.

"Brian, chill." "Brian, put down the ceramic Santa." "Brian!!" I don't really remember what Yasi and I were doing, but it's very possible I was pretending Yasi was a certain someone in the background.

Yes, when the sun sets the love affairs begin.

Oh Dave Turner, the things you do to me. I would let you cheat on me, absolutely. If only it meant that, for one day, I'd be your only woman. One day my love, one day.

Now there were a certain number of people that were using the hot tub and deck for things other than relaxing but I'm not going to point it out or make a big deal out of it.

I'm also not going to name names.

They know who they are and they know what they did and they're going to have to live with that. But really, I don't see nothin' wrong with a little bump and grind. It is Spring Break, after all! I'm just jealous....

Sunday morning we woke up to yet another gorgeous day and most of us remembered what had happened the night before.

And by 'most of us' I mean everyone but Andrea.

We had a good portion of the day to lay out so we applied the sunscreen and kept on with our day. I had gotten extremely crispy the day before so I made sure to apply, apply, and apply. While going through the album from Sunday, I came across this uncomfortable sequence of pictures.

Uh.......WTF? Apparently I apply sunscreen like a 1950's pin-up model. Awkward Brian, so awkward.

All good things must come to an end so after one more meal

one more group picture

(WTF is up with me standing like that today!?!!! Jeez!!!)

and one more funny story

(the well at Spring Break Long Island doesn't produce water - it produces booze! Mwa ha ha)

it was time to hop on the Magical LIRR

and limp back to the city. We had such a fun time this year, and can't thank Kristina enough for her hosting yet another successful Spring Break Long Island!!!
Oh, and one more thing. Because he's such a good friend, Page Six made me a screensaver for my computer that I think I'm going to enjoy....

Sigh....Dave Turner. You know, I have no doubt that he's straight. However, he's going to back to Grad School in the fall.....and they do say that 'College is the time for experimentation." Hm....Spring Break 3: Return of the Jedi, anyone?


Yasi said...

i can't even.

p.s. now that i'm back from my reading hiatus, i'm going to spam your blog with comments to make up for it ;)

Rachael said...


I'm upset I couldn't be at all of spring break! I can't wait until next year!

Anonymous said...

oh BB - the life you lead - do you really ever work? I kid I kid....