Thursday, July 23, 2009

Monster Mash

There are many kinds of monsters in this world. Some scarier than others. For instance, there's the Loch Ness Monster...




the Montauk Monster...




(seriously, what the hell IS THAT THING?)


Cookie Monster...


And Monster Trucks.



Then, there's the monster that assaulted me at 1:15 in the morning yesterday.



AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! GIANT ASS MOTHER-F'IN COCKROACH!!!



First of all, A. Rapp has been in movies with Russell Crowe, Rosario Dawson, Matthew McConaughay, um.......Tom Green? So yes, his apartment should NOT have roaches in it, I don't care if he lives in NY and they're everywhere. No excuse. Second of all, this cockroach was HUGE! I mean, EPIC proportions!





It looked right at me and it was all "step off, bitch." So of course, since I'm a woman, I didn't go up to it and squish it. I stepped the hell off!! I took some cleaner that was in the bathroom and started shooting it at the bug. Well wouldn't you know, it was some kind of 'all natural cleaner' shit. Didn't do anything. Then I found some air freshener. Again, impervious to all of my attacks. Ran into the kitchen and got some Lysol cleaner and started pelting the roach with squirts. It was like, shaking but still running and then it ran behind the tub and was gone. If Lysol won't kill it, what will?!! I may or may not have slept with one eye open.



So basically what I'm saying is....



...if you happen to see the GIANT ASS cockroach that is currently living in Anthony's house and HARASSING me, please do me a solid and kill it for me. 'Cause the "crunch" sound reeeeally creeps me out.


Kthxbyeeeeee.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

What. The. Hell. Is. That. MontaukMonster?!?!?!?!?!

Kevin Doyle said...

all that attacking and you STILL managed to take its picture...

two words - roach spray.

Anonymous said...

OMG! I am in full support of all the actions you took. I would've done the same. Except for more screaming like a girl, I'm sure.

XOXO
Q

Rachael said...

Bri,
I love that the photo you took of the cockroach was blurry.. didn't want to get too close :)!
-r.

Yasi said...

hmmm, maybe you should create a new p of the p category. i mean, hey, they already have a lochness monster.