Monday, December 7, 2009

6 Faux Pas to Pas the Time

Welcome to Monday everyone. It's MY favorite, I'm sure it's your favorite too. Tonight is the big Dodgeball tournament and UGH I'm so tired. Last year my team was out of the tournament in literally 8 minutes. This year I'm hoping to last a little longer. We play More-O's team right off the bat and they done be ril we'll see what happens. I have faith that my team can pull an upset. This weekend was great but went by SO fast! Friday there was some party hopping, Saturday was another party, and Sunday was bowling and then the Toys for Tots benefit. T4T was fun but for about a half hour during the party I was a total Debbie Downer.

It was too hot, too crowded, and I kept losing my friends. You would have been cranky too. I managed to pull it together though and made it to Monday in one pice. Well....almost one piece.

Faux Pas #1:

I'm wearing two different socks today. I couldn't find either's match this morning and didn't have the time to search. In my defense, however, they're both argyle. That has to count for something.

Faux Pas #2
Bitch, I don't need to be assulted with this fashion emergency first thing in the morning. I was already running late and then to see this? I mean, I don't even know what's going on! The top half is like an African Poncho and the bottom half is like paint splattered coveralls. I'm so confused...and so offended.

Faux Pas #3

I got this Facebook message this weekend. I do not know this girl. But how dare she insinuate I'm "easy not slutty?" I'm totally slutty! And "thank you for tonight?" Oh my....I wonder what I did to promote such gratitude. I straight now? My mother will be so happy.

Faux #4

Sunday was the first day of our bowling league and it was a blast!! Seriously, despite the early start time (12:30 on a SUNDAY?!) we rocked it and had so much fun. I had the highest score in the first game (you're welcome) and the second game I was doing SO well. I took a picture so I had proof.

A 140 in the 8th frame? F'real?! Then in the 9th frame I got a spare. I couldn't believe it! 8/9 frames I had a mark! And then....the time ran out. WHAT?! Yeah, apparently in this league they turn off the lanes the MINUTE it hits 2:30. I was piiiiiiiiiiiiissed. Here I am, on track to get the best game of my life, and we'll never know what I ended up getting. Sigh. Total faux pas.

Faux Pas #5

There's a girl in my neighborhood who looks like the Beast from the 1993 tv series "Beauty and the Beast." This morning I could have sworn she was following me. It was a very frightening moment for 8:30 am.

Faux Pas # 6

Last night while watching tele with Page Six and the Boy, this gorgeous face came on the screen:

Amazing, right? He then proceeds to tell us that "Santa wants to give your girlfriend the best present ever - a pap smear." HOMO SAY WHAT? So random, so unexpected, so NOT okay. Boo on you gorgeous sir. For the full story and VIDEO, go to Page Six's blog here

Well I'm off to the gym. Too much pad thai, too much cheese, TOO much booze this weekend. Enjoy your Monday everyone.


Sarah said...

Have you seen the Hanukkah version? EVEN BETTER. The guy is less hot, but the message is even funnier.

Although the first time I saw this commercial I thought "damn, what is that hot guy telling me? ... umm... did anyone else just see that? Am I high? What is happening?"

Kelly said...

Your sox = Punky Brewster. Own it.