Friday, February 5, 2010

Putting the "X" in X-Men

Let me just put this out there - I don't have a thing for cartoons, I don't get turned on by cartoons and I don't fantasize about cartoons. But come on, haven't you ever looked at a comic book character and thought "ya know, if he was a real live person I bet he'd be kinda hot." Therefore, I (and my boredom) present to you:

The Top 11 X-Men Characters I'd Do it With

#11. Beast

The Beast is hot because of the blue fur and the muscles, obviously. But then you throw in the fact that he's a genius and he get's like, extra hot. But the clean up would just be a disaster with all that hair everywhere and you know you couldn't take him anywhere because people would be staring at his blue ass face. But he'd still be fun for a romp around the block ifyouknowwhatImean.

#10. Banshee
I just wanna see if the carpet matches the drapes. Plus I bet Banshee would be RIL loud in bed. TOO loud.

#9. Cyclops
You know you want to hit it. He's mean, but sensitive. Firm, but sweet. Clean cut, yet you know he can get dirty. If it wasn't for that damn visor. I mean, a guys' eyes are the best part about him!! I don't want to look into no damn gold visor all day long. Plus, you never know where he's looking or if he's rolling his eyes. No bueno.

#8. Angel

Rich? Check. Blonde? Check. Daddy issues? Check. Angel is the shit and a definite catch. The only thing I'm worried about is the wings. Think about it - the wings are probably pretty heavy so he'd want to be on his back. You KNOW he'd make you do all the work.

#7. Gambit
I'm sure it'd be hot and all (no joke) but you know Gambit has the herp. Plus he'd never call you in the morning and I BET he doesn't cuddle.

#6. Captain Britain

One word: ACCENT.

#5. Iceman

He's funny, young, and really cool. Pun intended. Your drink would never go cold if you guys were out at a bar and he'd be awesome to hang with during those warm summer months. You'd have to stop sleeping with him around October though. And there might be some shrinkage involved...actually on second thought...

#4. Havok

Havok is deeply troubled, kind of insane, and full of energy. Totally my type. He's totally the hotter brother, too. Cyclops has got nothin' on him.

#3. Wolverine

Two words: Angry sex.

#2. Colossus

Accent. Done. Giant ass muscles. Done. Artist. Done. Colossus is kind of a catch. I mean sure, he's kind of dumb. And sure you won't be able to understand him all of the time. But no words need to be spoken ifyouknowwhatI'msaying.

#1. Multiple Man

Come on - there' s the possibility of there being more than one people. I mean, you'd be stupid to turn Multiple Man away!! One on one? Done. Threesome? Why not! 9gy? If you say so!! I'm just sayin, it could be ril kinky. You know he's a freak in bed too. With a name like Multiple Man, he's gotta be!

So that's that. And don't go judging me because everytime you see Wolverine you think of Hugh Jackman and everytime you see Gambit you think of Taylor Kitch so I know I'm not alone. I'm merely letting my freak flag fly! "I don't see nothin' wrong....with a little bump and grind.."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This entry totally brought me back to 10th grade when you were drawing X-Men pictures and I was curling Dana's hair in English class. Amazing. -Kido