BriTunes

Psst

2010-02-12T00:14:00.001-05:00

Word on the street? This is the new place to be:

Http://britunes2.wordpress.com

Check it out.

You are NOT the Father

2010-02-11T08:36:00.001-05:00

This had me in stitches yesterday....

The END of BriTunes?

2010-02-11T08:34:00.000-05:00

My dear readers I have some sobering news - BriTunes must come to an end!!!!!!

I know, I know...I'm as disappointed as you are. Long story short (short because it's 8:30 and my ass does not want to be late for work):

We used to be a company. That company went bankrupt and another company bought us out. Since that buy out, we've been working on the old company's computers but with the new company's platform. Recently (Tuesday) they finally migrated the two, and now we're working on the new company's computers with the new company's platform. The only problem?

Blogger is blocked!! So I can view BriTunes at work, but I can't update it at all. I'm still looking at other solutions and currently the best option appears to be heading over to Wordpress.com. The road black I've run into though, is that the name "BriTunes" is not available over there. I bet you anything that mothertrucker Brian Williams has it reserved. So if I do indeed move to Wordpress it looks like BriTunes will be no more. But what name should the blog be? So many questions, so few answers.

My friends and lovahs, its been real - I'll be in touch.

When You're Feelin' Low...

2010-02-09T22:56:00.001-05:00

Just listen to some Beaker.

This Just In...

2010-02-09T14:24:00.005-05:00

This just in:

Clementines are DELICIOUS!!!! WHAT? Where did this magical fruit come from?! Better than an orange, this tiny little fruit is something magical. I've been having some major candy cravings lately and in an effort to distract myself from the Mike and Ikes that I know are right around the corner. Anyway, clementines are amazeballs. Look into them.

This just in: Today is four weeks after my surgery and you know what that means.....the sling is off!! Wahoo! I haven't been wearing it the past few days and things have been going okay. It's a weird sensation but I have to get used to it sooner or later. Tonight is my first night of Physical Therapy and I'm nervous, excited, anxious, blah blah blah. Hopefully they'll be gentle.

This just in:

Kendra drives me absolutely crazy. There were pictures circulating yesterday of her crying after the Super Bowl and her excuse was that it was because there were paparazzi getting too close to her. DUDE - YOU ASKED FOR THIS!! It drives me crazy when there are fame hungry celebrities that actually achieve fame and then say "ah! Leave me alone! Give me privacy!" No. Not okay.

This just in:

Bradley Cooper doesn't know how to use self-tanner.

This just in:

Jessica Alba looked AWFUL at last night's "Valentine's Day" premiere. Horrendous!! I'm not a fan of hers in the first place but despite her and Biel's prescences, I shall be seeing "VDay" very soon. I was planning on checking out a screening of it tonight but with Physical Therapy I'm not sure what time I'd finish and don't feel like rushing here and rushing there. So instead I shall partake in Lost and American Idol Hollywood week and it shall be grand.

Another amazing episode of "Drag Race" last night in which they had to take RuPaul barbie dolls and make them over. Here is the end result:

I swear, this is something my sister and I did...um...like every day when she was 5. We made Rent barbies, Clueless barbies...can't you tell it was 1996? My favorite from last night was "SheFreeForAll."

Amazing. This show is genius, people! I do have to say though, there aren't as many "outstanding" personalities as there were last year. Am I alone in thinking this?

Not much else to report today. Supposedly we're getting a LOT of snow in the next day or so....who's up for calling in "snow" tomorrow?!

Weekend Recap

2010-02-08T11:37:00.004-05:00

Happy Monday bitches.

I started out my day by listening to Alanis Morissette's "Unplugged."

It is SO hard to believe that this shit is over 10 years old. 10 years!!!! It feels like just yesterday I was sitting in my dorm room in Morgan Hall watching this with Ramsey, Shannon, and DC Doug. So crazy. I was talking with DC Doug the other day about how certain albums bring you right back to a certain time in your life and no matter what, every Alanis album does that for me. I can remember when Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie came out I went to Target right after my morning classes and bought it, ran home, and had it on repeat for a good year. Under Rug Swept is so January of 2002 for me - downloading the songs before anyone else had them and waiting in line for Alanis and Nysnc tickets to see them at the Olympics. 2004 when So-Called Chaos came out it was me living in Salt Lake and watching all 8 hours of her Oxygen special and having Spencer and Lorissa bring me orange juice while I waited over night to meet Alanis...it's pretty special to have an artist who is just a total time machine for you. I j'adore her.

What a weekend!!!!

Friday night Benji's boyfriend and I had a "date" and I was introduced to my new favorite restaurant, Westville. We then attended a game night a Vanessa's house where I, yet again, rocked in Celebrity. I don't know that I've lost a game of Celebrity in the past 20 times I've played - I'm THAT awesome. Friday night was the impending SNOW OF DOOM and we got.....a mere dusting. Seriously. It was melted by Saturday morning. What a letdown.

Saturday afternoon More-O and I treked to CT to attend a wine tasting with his family. It was such a fantastic time and I had a blast "tasting" many, many wines, hanging with More-O and his fam, and singing Billy Joel at the top of our lungs. Won't forget that night any time soon.

Sunday was David's annual Super Bowl party and while I'd heard stories about this epic event, I don't know that I was prepared for the amazingness that I encountered. I was told that we would all be participating in a "Power Hour" before the game started (game? There was a game?) According to Wikipedia.com, a "Power Hour" is is a drinking event where every player drinks one shot of beer every minute.

More-O was quite excited for this.

I however, was a tit bit nervous. Would I be able to complete it? Would I puke? What would happen? Here was the start of the Power Hour:

And, after 60 minutes, many songs ("I AM NOT FROM FRANCE"), and someone spitting his beer up at minute 51 (ahem More-O), Power Hour ended.

And that's only half of the beer bottles/cans.

Seriously, ya'll, I felt like I was birthing an alien baby.

But luckily all the beer stayed in and I wasn't even messy! It was a fantastic evening (apparently the Saints won? Who?) and it was spent with even more fantastic people.

Power Hour = Success!!!

Speaking of success and failure....I came across this today and couldn't stop laughing. A little somethin' somethin' to leave you with.

Oh man...it's too good.

Putting the "X" in X-Men

2010-02-05T14:24:00.003-05:00

Let me just put this out there - I don't have a thing for cartoons, I don't get turned on by cartoons and I don't fantasize about cartoons. But come on, haven't you ever looked at a comic book character and thought "ya know, if he was a real live person I bet he'd be kinda hot." Therefore, I (and my boredom) present to you:

The Top 11 X-Men Characters I'd Do it With

#11. Beast

The Beast is hot because of the blue fur and the muscles, obviously. But then you throw in the fact that he's a genius and he get's like, extra hot. But the clean up would just be a disaster with all that hair everywhere and you know you couldn't take him anywhere because people would be staring at his blue ass face. But he'd still be fun for a romp around the block ifyouknowwhatImean.

#10. Banshee

I just wanna see if the carpet matches the drapes. Plus I bet Banshee would be RIL loud in bed. TOO loud.

#9. Cyclops

You know you want to hit it. He's mean, but sensitive. Firm, but sweet. Clean cut, yet you know he can get dirty. If it wasn't for that damn visor. I mean, a guys' eyes are the best part about him!! I don't want to look into no damn gold visor all day long. Plus, you never know where he's looking or if he's rolling his eyes. No bueno.

#8. Angel

Rich? Check. Blonde? Check. Daddy issues? Check. Angel is the shit and a definite catch. The only thing I'm worried about is the wings. Think about it - the wings are probably pretty heavy so he'd want to be on his back. You KNOW he'd make you do all the work.

#7. Gambit

I'm sure it'd be hot and all (no joke) but you know Gambit has the herp. Plus he'd never call you in the morning and I BET he doesn't cuddle.

#6. Captain Britain

One word: ACCENT.

#5. Iceman

He's funny, young, and really cool. Pun intended. Your drink would never go cold if you guys were out at a bar and he'd be awesome to hang with during those warm summer months. You'd have to stop sleeping with him around October though. And there might be some shrinkage involved...actually on second thought...

#4. Havok

Havok is deeply troubled, kind of insane, and full of energy. Totally my type. He's totally the hotter brother, too. Cyclops has got nothin' on him.

#3. Wolverine

Two words: Angry sex.

#2. Colossus

Accent. Done. Giant ass muscles. Done. Artist. Done. Colossus is kind of a catch. I mean sure, he's kind of dumb. And sure you won't be able to understand him all of the time. But no words need to be spoken ifyouknowwhatI'msaying.

#1. Multiple Man

Come on - there' s the possibility of there being more than one people. I mean, you'd be stupid to turn Multiple Man away!! One on one? Done. Threesome? Why not! 9gy? If you say so!! I'm just sayin, it could be ril kinky. You know he's a freak in bed too. With a name like Multiple Man, he's gotta be!

So that's that. And don't go judging me because everytime you see Wolverine you think of Hugh Jackman and everytime you see Gambit you think of Taylor Kitch so I know I'm not alone. I'm merely letting my freak flag fly! "I don't see nothin' wrong....with a little bump and grind.."

Friday Frik Frak

2010-02-05T10:37:00.005-05:00

I hate your face.

I honestly don't know what the article is about. All I know is that the subject line includes the words "Kristen Stewart" and "Prostitution" and that's good enough to put a smile on my face. Ugh. She's the pits. She should be called "Kristen St-ew-ert."

In other news, it's FRIDAY!!!!!

For whatever reason, this week has just seemed like the lonnnnnnnngest. I need a good night's sleep so badly. Ever since I had surgery I haven't been able to sleep all the way through the night. I don't know if it's because of my sling or the pain or what but it's ANNOYING. I only have four more days in my sling and "Praise Jesus-ah!!" is all I have to say. Of course, then starts the painful Physical Therapy part, but whatevs. I'm choosing to not think about that. I'm trying to wean myself off of wearing the sling. I didn't wear it when I took the Subway to work this morning and it was so weird. It was like my arm wanted to be in the sling, and it kept tingling. I've got a ways to go before full recovery.

In celebrity news today, Lindsey's still crazy, Brittany Murphy's still dead, and Rihanna's still wearing ugly clothes.

Seriously Princess RiRi, WHAT is that all about?

THIS is your AmERicAN IDol

2010-02-04T16:19:00.004-05:00

So the "Guest Judge" round of American Idol has come and gone and all I can say is Praiiiiiiiise Jesus-ah!!! I've just never been a fan of the auditions (I mean, besides that first year when it was new and everyone thought it was hilarious). I much prefer the meatier Semi-Final Round, Top 12, Hollywood week, etc. With that oh so poignant Paula AbDrool gone this year, they needed someone to fill in that 4th spot (WHY do we have 4 spots again?) Since Ellen hadn't been chosen yet, they picked celebrities and well.....some were of more use than others.

#8. Joe Jonas

Pro: Teen Throb appeal, ratings booster, short on words

Con: Short on words, thinks he's the shit, EYEBROWS

#7. Kristin Chenoweth

Pro: Sweet to all the contestants, very gracious, charming, funny

Con: THAT VOICE. That, and she seemed to really bring joy to Kara's life. Can't have that, now can we?

#6. Doogie Howser

Pro: I mean come on, he's NPH! He can do whatever he want and succeed at it. He has a wide and vast career to glean lessons from and therefore was great at doling out the advice.

Con: Kind of a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz fest.

#5. Avril Lavigne

Pro: Wasn't afraid to tell it like is.

Con: The sweatshirt and....Avril Lavigne? REALLY? Like, Sk8ter Boy Avril Lavigne? REALLY?

#4. Shania Twain

Pro: Constructive Critisicm expert, has aged amazingly well over the past ten years

Con: Sexual harassment of some contestants

#3. Mary J. Blige-ah

Pro: Introduced us to "Pants on the Ground" guy and was really cute when she laughed

Con: There are no cons when it comes to Pants on the Ground guy.

#2. Victoria Beckham

Pro: Looked amazing, was really sweet with all the contestants, gave great advice, got along with the judges, talked a lot, and looked amazing

Con: Starts with C and ends in RUZ BECKHAM.

And my favorite celebrity judge....

#1. Katy Perry

Pro: Seriously, she was the only one who was straight up with EVERYONE, including the judges. She fought with Kara (pro) was sassy (pro) and wasn't afraid of what came out of her mouth (pro). She had personality and was just plain old awesome. Let's get rid of Kara and have Katy be a full-time judge instead!!!

Con: That whole Russell Brand thing....

I can't tell you how excited I am for auditions to be O-V-E-R!! Bring on Hollywood week and bring on the lesbian!!!

Let Me....Bore You.

2010-02-04T12:10:00.003-05:00

Remember that one time I saw Celia from Top Model at Toys for Tots?

She found my blog and commented on it.

I mean, how awesome is that?! I wonder if she has a Google alert so any time someone writes the words "Celia, Top Model" it comes up on her radar? I wonder if by writing that it's going to be sent to her. Uh Oh...I better say nice things from now on....Celia rocks! (But Alison for the win).

I got nothin' today. Seriously. You know those days where there's not a lot going on, nothing really in the news, and there's just a lack of inspiration in the air? Yeah, that's me. Let's see if I can make you as bored as I am.

*I went to the dentist yesterday. It was not fun.

*I had soup last night. I wasn't sure if the soup tasted weird because half of my taste buds were numb or because the soup was bad. Jury's still out.

*I got my haircut last night. It's not short enough. I'm so bored with my hairstyle lately but have no motivation to try something else.

*I finally watched last week's "Biggest Loser" and am REALLY happy Migdalia is gone. She was a bitch. Correction: Fat bitch. Seriously, she was almost as awful as Cruz Beckham.

*I ate fries last night. They were good. My grilled chicken wrap was not.

*I am O.V.E.R. the American Idol auditions - bring on Hollywood Week!!

*My morning started out awesome. Noon thirty? Yeah...not s'much.

*I am now going to the gym.

SEE?!!!?? Now you're as bored as I am!!! Wahoo!!!!

Who Dat Be?

2010-02-03T14:32:00.003-05:00

Here's a hint: "PRECIOUS!!!"

Oh hell yes you know that's Mo'nique!!!

I've heard the rumor in the past that she doesn't shave her legs but to see it up close and personal...I mean...eeyiiikes! And before you feminist girls (ahem, Amanda) come and yell at me about how it's unrealistic for girls to shave their legs every day and blah blah blah blah blah....might I just remind you that this wasn't Mo' at Costco or gettin' her hair did. Homegirl done be at the GOLDEN GLOBES!! Guess she really took the part of Precious' mom with her... (PRECIOUS!)

As an added gift (or gif, if you will) for those fans of Drag Race, Page Six just sent this to me and I'd like to share with you.

Amazeballs.

WTF??!

2010-02-03T11:34:00.000-05:00

OMGay everyone.

Lost. Discuss. Go!

Ease On Down That Road, Bitch

2010-02-02T16:49:00.005-05:00

You guys all know my homegirl Allison from "Intervention," right?

"It's like I'm walkin' on Sunshine!!" Sigh. I love her so much. Well, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is - she's clean.

Yup. Off the huff. No longer takin' in the air. No more Intervention specials, no more amazing sound bites, none of it. The GOOD news, however, is that we are treated to one last 'Intervention' special onnnnnnnn...

Huffing! Woo! And you know what that means? An Allison PRETTY PARTY!!!!!!

I'll miss you so much Allison! You've given us so many great times but I wish you the best on your sobriety, I really do! I also hope, one day, to join you in the ranks of "Intervention" alums. Hell, I could go there right now for candy addiction, no joke!!

I heart you Allison and I hope you'll always be WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE!!!

Ru-Cap

2010-02-02T14:28:00.007-05:00

Ladies, Gentlemen, Kids of all ages, Trannys, and everything in-between. Welcome to Season2 of RuPaul's Drag Race!!!!!

Last night Benji and I went over to our friend Justin's house to watch with a few queens. Thank goodness Page Six and I had watched the premiere a few weeks ago on a screener because queens like to talk during shows I've discovered.

Upon first glance there aren't as many "stand out" queens as last year. Where are the Ongina's?! The Nina Flowers'? All we have this year is Shangela and this bitch:

Seriously!!! That mouth!!! I mean...I can't even!! Morgan McMicahels is the skanky one, the twink who you know you'd get in a fight with at Axis cause he thinks he's the shit. I guess it's fitting then, that the skinny bitch got in a fight with the fat bitch

on Logo's behind the scenes after show, aptly titled "Untucked." Jesus....those queers and their plays on words.

The first episode was great fun though, and the first challenge was a photo shoot where the ladies had to take pictures based on "Gone With the Wind" which was really just them sitting on a canon while a giant fan tried to blow off their wigs. The final result?

Hilarity.

We were introduced to a Drag Queen named "Jujubee."

My first thought? "Oh Jesus!!! That looks like my sister-in-law!!"

Justine, I'm so, so, sorry. And I think you are much much prettier than a drag queen. BUT C'MON!!!!

They look JUST LIKE each other!!! And not because all Asians look alike, c'mon guys....

Sigh. I'll never be able to look at JuJuBees the same way ever again...

Nom Nom Nom

2010-02-02T10:27:00.003-05:00

Oh man, I've gotta get my ass watching some movies!!! Out of the 10 Best Picture nominees, I've only seen 3. 3!!!! (For the record they are Up, Up in the Air, and Precious. "PRECIOUS!") The good news is that Page Six and I have almost all of them at home. The bad news is that I have four seasons of "How I Met Your Mother" coming to me from Netflix and I'd much rather watch that than "Inglorious Bastards." I mean come on, who wouldn't? Just look at those faces!

I guess the biggest surprise is that Sandra Bullock got nominated (is it really a surprise with all the awards she's been winning?)

and really, I think she should have been nominated years ago for her work in "Practical Magic."

The one thing that's annoying this year is that there really aren't any questions about who will win certain categories. Jeff Bridges is a lock, the guy for Supporting Actor is a lock, Mo'nique is a lock (PRECIOUS!!) and I'm pretty sure Sandra will win based on the Globes and the SAG's. We'll see.

Sigh. I guess this means I finally have to see that Avatard movie, don't I?

So yes, congrats to all the nominees. The big congrats, however, goes out to More-O whose company garnered 7 nominations with The Blind Side, Invictus, Sherlock Holmes, and Harry Potter!

Hot.

Not too terribly much going on today. You know, an expense report here or there...maybe plan a meeting or two...and then tonight is probably going to be boring, there's not much on - oh wait.

It begins, bitches.

7 Lessons Learned

2010-02-01T17:01:00.002-05:00

Kristina's family opened up their new bowling alley this weekend and all the city kids made the trek out to Queens to help celebrate. Many lessons were learned in the short five hours we were there but I'd like to share just a few of them with you.

1. When Kido and Page Six say the wait is "two hours," they are lying.

2. Kristina makes a mean drink and is the cutest bartender around. She also forgets about your drink if your name is "Brian."

3. Mozzerella sticks make you feel fat. So do cheeseburgers, fries, and one onion ring.

4. Astoria is far. "Outer Astoria" is frickin' Africa.

5. Quarters is an acceptable way to pass the time. Also acceptable? "I have Never," waiting in line for drinks, and complaining about the wait. And in Dan's case, Grindr.

6. Bowling after six drinks makes you really good.

I got a 155 people. LEFT HANDED and in a SLING!! That's better than my score right handed multiple weeks. I'm something of a bionic man. Six drinks = great.

7. Seven drinks makes you awful. First game 155. Second game? 60.

Guess it was that seventh drink.

Hey BriTunes, What Time is it?

2010-02-01T13:11:00.004-05:00

Apparently it's 1993, bitches!!!

This sitcom has "HOT MESS" written allllllll over it.

The sad thing is this picture isn't even from the sitcom, it's from a Lifetime movie that they did together. Which means their evil has been unleashed upon the world before. We all survived, but what will happen this time? Stay tuned...

Grammy Schmammy

2010-02-01T10:14:00.006-05:00

Well obviously I've got thoughts on the Grammy's. I mean, hello - have you met me? But before I get to that I have some bad news to report: Kristen Bell is engaged.

To mother-effing DAX SHEPARD! I'm sorry but Dax is simply not good enough for my girlfriend Kristen. He's not cute enough, he's not smart enough, and Doggonnit, I don't care if people like him! He doesn't deserve someone as amazing as her. Even if she had made some awful red carpet mistakes lately and "When In Rome" looks horrible....but let's not focus on that. I mean, no one's perfect. Oh Kristen, marry me instead!

As far as the Grammy's are concerned.....

Oh Britney.

No. Just.....no.

Taylor Swift, no. Just....no! And album of the year?! No!!!!! I'm afraid my like for Taylor Swift was very short lived. That girl needs an auto tune box installed directly to her throat.

Lea Michele?

Yes, yes, yes, and MORE yes!!! Homegirl looked AMAZEBALLS.

Dear Michael Jackson's kids:

You. Are. Ca-REEPY!!! I mean, obviously it's expected since we know who their father was, but eeeeyikes! And was it just me or did Paris say "our father wanted to be here this year but he can't." Uh....he can't make it to the Grammy's because he DIED?! Duh! And where was Blanket? Why do the older kids get all the fun?

So....Beyonce.

Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce. Homegirl is fierce. Homegirl can do whatever she wants. But homegirl went and covered Alanis last night.

She sang "You Oughta Know" and I've recieved many a text message 'wanting to know' what I thought. I mean, look. Beyonce ain't no Alanis. And Alanis ain't no Beyonce. And despite the fact that Bey flubbed a few words and did a really weird cutting of the lyrics, I thought she worked it out. Would it have been better if Alanis and Bey did the song together? You bet your ass it would have been! But I'll take what I can get.

Lady Gaga, my little monster...

I thought she and Elton were pretty phenom. Vocally she was spot on, the arrangement of "Speechless" and "Your Song" mixed well and Elton really was right - how wonderful life is now that Gaga's in our world. The girl doesn't give a damn about what anyone thinks and I'm so impressed with every performance I see of hers. She gives you something to think about and a performance to look forward to!!

And then there was Pink.

Page Six and I were talking last night about how it was a great performance but it was esentially just a copy of what she does in her live show. But then I got to thinking more about it. Sure, it's her stage show but Pink was doing it more to show something that hasn't been seen on the Grammy's more than she was doing a "lazy" performance. The acrobatics, the outfit, the water, the spinning, I mean, the girl's absolutely amazing. Combine that with the fact that "Glitter in the Air" is one of the best, and saddest songs off her album, and you've got my favorite performance of the night. I'm crushing hard on Pink right now.

After spending a full day with More-O, Dan, and Jocean watching Lost, the Grammy's were a lovely end to my night and a great way to end a great weekend!

And This is Why...

2010-02-01T00:18:00.001-05:00

Pink is one of my most favorite artists ever. The lyrics, the performance, the quality of her singing. Homegirl works. It. Out.

If You Wanna Be Alanis...

2010-02-01T00:17:00.001-05:00

Beyonce covering Alanis. Which did she do more, hair flipping or rifs?

Wait For It....

2010-02-01T00:16:00.001-05:00

I promise it's worth it just for the Elton/Gaga part.

Never Again

2010-01-29T16:34:00.002-05:00

Nemesis.

Yesterday my nemesis was spotting leaving a Yogurtland. You people don't understand. I love Yogurtland. There is one next to my apartment and it's amazing.

I am never eating Yogurtland ever again. THANKS A LOT CRUZ!! Happy FREAKIN' weekend!!!

Let's Talk About...You Know What

2010-01-29T15:14:00.005-05:00

I once hooked up with a MTV star.

Homo say what?!!? Last night Benji had a game night so as to 'say goodbye' to his old apartment. The usuals were there, copious amounts of red wine was drank, and I can honestly say I haven't laughed that hard in weeks. SUCH good times. At some point in the night someone brought up that old MTV group "2gether." Do you remember them? "You, plus sign, me, equals sign, us." Amazing, right? I was more than happy to tell my story last night about how I hooked up with one of the guys. But which one? No the really hot one (damn). Not the beefy one (damn). Not the dead one. Not Chris Farley's brother. The blonde one!!! It was probably three or four years after the show ended and he just happened to be in Salt Lake at a club. How random. I have to say....he's not lookin' too hot nowadays.

Eek!! Get some sleep boo, you done look ril tired.

Speaking of MTV, let's talk about The Buried Life.

It's this new show where guys go out to cross things off their Bucket List and in return help someone with the one thing they'd like to do before they die. This show had me crying on the bike yesterday at the gym. This show also has my new crush.

Meet Ben. Oh Ben, Ben, Ben. SO FRIGGIN HOT.

I mean, could he BE any more perfect?

MTV also likes to show him shirtless, which is aight with me.

Fingers crossed that he's the next MTV star I hook up with. Ben, marry me in Vermont!!!

He He He....

2010-01-29T10:50:00.000-05:00

Little man walking a big dog.

My Friday just got SO much better.

Just 'Cuz

2010-01-28T16:01:00.001-05:00

Jon Hamm.

Just 'cuz.

You're welcome Kelly!

In Yo FACE, Melissa!

2010-01-28T14:37:00.002-05:00

This shit just ain't right.

After breaking Melissa's heart live on television, Jason and Molly are getting married...ON TV!!

Some time in March ABC will air their wedding, including the stuff up to the actual date. So we'll be able to watch that whore Molly shopping for a dress, the bachelorette party, etc. etc.

Goody.

I can't believe how much I used to love Jason and now the mere sight of him sickens me. But then again I'm on Melissa overload too, so really it's a lose-lose situation with all those bihotches.

TMI

2010-01-28T11:18:00.002-05:00

I came across this article this morning and felt the need to share.

I went back and forth between being grossed out and hilariously laughing. I just....I can't even...

I Heart Her So Much

2010-01-28T00:41:00.001-05:00

Quentin, I think you'll love this.

Say It Ain't So-oo-woah-woah

2010-01-27T11:28:00.002-05:00

You guys know how much I love "Pants on the Ground," right? I mean, it's frakkin' amazing. "Lookin' like a foo witch yo pants on the ground!!" Well apparently the song is a rip-off.

General Larry Platt say wha-?!!

I've been hearing rumblings about this for the past few days and today I finally decided to take a listen.

While the inital message is the same (seriously kids, get those pants off the ground!) and they both reference hats on backwards (turn those dag nabbin' hats around kids!) I am happy to report that the melodies are totally different.

So while perhaps Larry Platt got the INSPIRATION from The Green Brothers, I don't think it's a blatant rip-off, which makes my heart VERY happy.

Seriously, step off of my Pants on the Ground guy. I may only have one working arm, but I'll cut a bitch up.

"Pants on the ground, pants on the ground..."

These R the Thoughts...

2010-01-27T10:45:00.006-05:00

...that go through my head...

I think I have restless leg syndrome. My leg will NOT stay still!

I'm wearing a new cardigan from Ben Sherman today. I like it a lot.

I downloaded a slow version of "Poker Face" last night and am in love with it. I also like a song called "Giddy on Up, Giddy on out" and am ashamed how much I love it.

That Justin Beiber kid creeps me out.

Finally hopped on the Ke$ha train. Tik Tok indeed, my friend.

I've learned how to fall asleep on my right side (ish). However, when I wake up my arm hurts or is dead asleep. Perhaps some more practice.

I just don't get this whole 'ipad' business.

I really like Jon Hamm with a beard. I like Jon Hamm without a beard. I like Jon Hamm.

And now some thoughts on Television.

Katy Perry on American Idol. Funny, honest, and fought with Kara. What more could I ask for? I was pleasantly surprised and while I'm sure she will never be on there again, I liked it. (just like kissing a girl. Get it?)

*I've been watching old '30 Rock' episodes before bed lately. Combined with those and the fact that the new eps have been so funny, I am convinced this is one of the greatest shows ever.

*I'm convinced that this is the most annoying season of 'The Bachelor' ever.

These girls are just plain awful and the only one I even remotely like is Ali. That being said I'd still let Jake hit it. I mean, I ain't no foo'.

*There haven't been any new 'Melrose Place's or '90210's for almost two months. The sad thing? I really don't miss them. Do you?

*The new season of RuPaul's Drag Race starts Monday.

I've already seen the first episode, and I'm just as excited to watch it on Monday. Let's hope this season is an eleganza extravaganza like the first one. Can't wait!!!

*'The Office' is just kinda there this season but the wedding between Jim and Pam was one of the greatest endings to any show ever. Also, the clip episode last week was exceptionally funny. 'Parks and Recreation' sucked last year. This year? One of the funniest things on tv. I encourage you to watch it. It's frickin' hilarious and doesn't get the due it's deserved.

*I miss 'Glee.'

*I like to eat during 'The Biggest Loser.' Fatty food if preferred. I don't know why. I'm not losing any weight watching people work out....it just doesn't make sense.

*Rob Lowe is exiting 'Brothers and Sisters' and Calista Flockhart is reportedly going to have a reduced number of episodes so she can spend more time with her family.

I've always hated Rob's character so good riddance but they better not take away my Kitty!! I love her, her character, she's just phenomenal. The show won't be the same without her.

*Same with Grey's. I miss Kathryn Heigl when she's gone.

But know who I don't miss? George. Sorry T.R. Knight, but it's true. Good thing you've got your looks and your 19-year old boyfriend going for you.

*I'm so excited for the new seasons of 'Lost' and 'Survivor' I could just pee myself.

*Please meet my new boyfriend.

His name is Matt Long, and he's on a show called 'The Deep End.' The show kinda sucks. Norbert Leo Butz is on it and is awful. But Matt? DELISH.

*Ugly Betty.

No joke, I was going to write ya'll and tell you that I was breaking up with Ugly Betty. Seriously, even though it has been good this year, I just don't have time for it and I'm kind of over the show. THEN they had to go and tell me that they're canceling the show this May. Good, right? NO!! Because NOW I have to watch it until the end. I've watched it for four years, I have to finish it out. Ugh. So annoying.

So those are my thoughts on the tv I've been watching lately. I swear I have a real social life, promise.

I'm Sorry, Mario Cantone

2010-01-26T12:30:00.002-05:00

Dear Mario Cantone,

Yeah.....sorry about that. But in my defense you brought it upon yourself. Let me set the stage for you.

Last night I'm in bed and I'm watching the two retrospective pieces on the "Six Feet Under" dvd which then got me to think "Oh, I totally want to watch the retrospectives that they did about Sex and the City." So I pop the dvd in, and press play. I'm watching, blah blah blah, then I need to pause for something. So when I look back to the tv, this is what I saw.

It was just too good to pass up.

So sorry about that Mario Cantone but MAN that's a fugly face. Hilarious.

Just 'cuz

2010-01-26T10:58:00.002-05:00

Tim Tebow.

'just cuz.

'Wait, WHO' both you and I ask? Apparently he's the quarterback for the Florida Gators.

Yeah...I don't care about the details either.

Six Feet Under - The Final Six Minutes

2010-01-26T00:14:00.001-05:00

I finally finished this series tonight and I can't stop watching this last scene. What an amazingly beautiful, gorgeous, sad, and complete ending to a fantastic show. Obviously if you've seen the series watch it, but if you ever have any intention of watching the series...don't. There are some pretty major spoilers.

Haus of Gaga

2010-01-25T12:21:00.005-05:00

Hey there BriTunes-ers. It's raining, and people are cranky. But how's your day?

Just kind of a so-so weekend. Some parties, some sleep, some fro-yo, you know...nothin' big. There was this one little thing yesterday but I don't want to make too big of a deal about it...wasn't nothin' really.

Ooooooooh, that's right. I went to Lady Gaga yesterday!!!

She was, obviously, amazing. You know what else was amazing? Walking behind Dina Lohan (aka White Oprah) in line before the concert.

Ah....just look at those overly processed blonde locks. It might as well be Lindsay standing there! I went to the concert with a bunch of friends but actually sat with my friend Daniel, of SH@Z@M fame.

We're almost as orange as Dina Lohan's skin!! Badump bump.

I can't even express to you just how *perfect* our seats were. Second mezz, front row with a view of everything and plenty of room to dance.

There was a moment in the show when this lady brought a few girls dressed up like freaks to the area right next to Daniel and I. Gaga was at her piano and chatting with the audience and talking about how Virgin Mobile was sponsoring the concert. She then says she's going to "call" a lucky audience member. All of a sudden a spot light shines on the girls standing next to us and they (and us) are on the jumbo-tron. What what!! Okay, so I had to lean in a little bit to get on screen but the point of the story is that I got on screen!

By far the best moment of the show for me was when she sang "Speechless." It's my favorite song off the album and there was something about the moment that brought me to tears. I just kept thinking about Gaga and how this random girl from New York worked her ass off and went from selling out small clubs to selling out Radio City Music Hall.

Cheesy moment, absolutely. But I couldn't help but be touched by her story and just how appreciative she was of her fans, and vice-versa. Incredible, amazing, and epic show and anyone who didn't get to go should be totes jeals. I'm just sayin'.

A bunch of my friends are in Sundance this week and I keep hearing stories about this person and that person being there. One person who's up there this week?

Yup, still hate her face!

I'll Miss You Most of All

2010-01-22T11:54:00.003-05:00

You know, while it may have taken me a hot second, Jersey Shore ended up being good to me. REAL good to me. There are many (ridiculous) things that I'm going to miss about this show. Of course I'll miss my Thursday nights with Page Six and sometimes More-O, laughing and making fun (laughing with? At?) of these completely ridiculous people/personalities/characters. I'm sure we'll see them again sometime (hopefully soon) but for now...a tribute.

Vinny

Vinny really grew on me as the season progressed. I shall miss his eyebrows, his surprisingly hot leg hair, and his flip flopping between the boss' girl and Mike's sister. Hmm...speaking of Mike's sister...

Mike's Sister

I simply can't look at her without seeing this:

and for that, I thank you, MTV.

Ronnie

I want to thank Ronnie for fighting like this, for starting up a completely absurd summer relationship with Sammi, and for his ridiculous, and for his inability to restrain himself from fighting anyone and everyone (including Sammi). Oh yeah, I'll also miss the fact that you have no neck.

Sammi

Yeah...Sammi I'm not going to s'much miss you...as much as I'll miss your use of hair extensions when in a fight. Also, your constant wearing of sweatpants and the fact that you weren't mad at Ronnie for going to jail because of a fight, but you were mad at him for going to jail because that meant you had to sleep alone for one night. You poor thing, I hope you've recovered well.

JWoww

There done be a lot of things I'm going to miss about JWoww, but the main one is probably her amazing fashion sense and her incredibly wonderful, and inappropriately displayed, boobies.

Oh yeah, I'll also miss this face.

But probably not as much as Page Six will.

The Situation

The situation is completely ridiculous, trashy, and nasty all rolled up in to one. However, he did provide us many comedic moments throughout the season, many amazing faces, and the excuse for me to lift up my shirt any time Page Six says the word "situation."

Nicole/Snooki/Snickers

This girl is amazing and is sure to have a long and wonderful reality show career. I shall miss her very, very much. And I will also miss this outfit.

I just...I can't...I mean....in WHAT world is lingere acceptable to wear to the club on a Tuesday night??! I mean....you know what world it's acceptable? The Jersey Shore world. Aw yeah, baby.

I'll Miss You Most of All

I'll miss all of our guidos and guidettes but the person I'll miss the most?

Barb. Like there was any question.

It's Cookie Time

2010-01-21T13:22:00.005-05:00

I don't know who's heard what but...this Sunday I will be hitting Radio City Music Hall to see.....Miss Lady Gaga

It's true!! Gaga-loo herself!! I'm beside myself with excitement, I have to say - especially after all the drama of not being able to get a ticket in the first (or second) round. My friend Daniel (a member of SH@Z@M, actually) had an extra ticket so I hollered at him and said "what do I have to do to get that ticket?" He told me to buy him a pony. So I did.

Hey, he didn't specify what KIND of pony, now did he? Exactly. So I'll be there on Sunday, waving my one free arm like a fool. Can't wait.

Yasi sent me these pictures today and I'm a liiiiiiiittle in love with them. So I had to share. Please to enjoy.

GENIUS, right?!

My New Ringtone

2010-01-21T10:36:00.001-05:00

For God's sakes people, give the man some cash!!!! He's only got 13 more minutes left of fame and I gotsta have that song. So do whatever you have to do so that he can go into a recording booth and put this song in iTunes. Cause I done be jonesing for it ril bad. "Pants on the ground, pants on the ground, lookin' like a foo witch yo pants on the ground!" Sigh...how I love it so.

Did you guys hear about how Rob Estes is leaving 90210? How in the world are they going to have a show about a high schooler without the da--"gold in yo mouf, hat turned sideways. Lookin' like a FOO witch yo pants on the ground!"

Sorry, got distracted.

So apparently Conan O'Brien settled with NBC for something like $45 million dollars. I feel bad for the guy, I really do. I can't believe how nasty NBC is be-"Pants on the ground, pants on the ground! Pull up your pants that be fallin' on the ground!"

Ugh. I just can't escape it. Time to just give in. Now if I could only figure out a way to make this my ringtone....

Yeah, That'll Last

2010-01-21T10:15:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that'll last....

I Done Got Thingz to Say!

2010-01-20T13:01:00.007-05:00

So even though I was away from BriTunes for a week, the world continued to evolve and holy Snooki, things still happened! And guess what? I gotz things to say!!!

*Marry Me Mayer

John Mayer is on the cover of this month's Rolling Stone. I would hit it so hard, you people don't even know. I mean, who cares if he's sure to give me the Herp, the man is hot and classless and can play a mean guitar while he croons in my ear about my Wonderland. Hit it hit it hit it. Done and Done.

*Shut Up Simon! Please?

My friend Josh was on American Idol last week and not only did he make it to air, he made it to Hollywood!! Holla!! It was really fun seeing someone I know on one of my favorite shows. What's funny about Josh is he had the exact same shoulder surgery I had and I'll be using his Phyiscal Therapist in three weeks. Physical Therapist to the STARS!! (I use the word "stars" very lightly).

*Speaking of American Idol...

"Pants on the Ground," sung by this old black guy, is offically my favorite song ever. I can't get it out of my head! "Pants on the ground, pants on the ground. Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground! With the gold in your mouf, hat turned sideways, lookin' like a FOOL wit cho pants on the ground!" I woke up at 8am Sunday singing it and let me just say...that is not a desired song to have in your head at 8 am Sunday morning.

*I Saw the Doctor

And I also saw pictures from my surgery!!!!

Grrrroooooossssssss!!!!! The upper left picture is a picture of my bone (on the right) and my torn labrum (on the left). Everything else is just kind of confusing. Doctor said I'm healing well, bruising and swelling should go down soon, and I can start PT in three weeks. On the up and up!

*The Golden Globes Happened...

And Glee won best comedy! Yay Glee! Glee kids, hooray!!! However, Lea Michele, Matt Morrison, and Jane Lynch didn't win in their respective categories. I was actually really upset about Jane because I felt like she absolutely deserved to win. As far as fashion is concerned....my favorite dress of the night actually belonged to one of my favorite ladies, Lea Michele.

Followed closely by Marion Cotiliard.

I also loved Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, and Reese Witherspoon's looks at the awards. Chloe Sevigny?

No. To both your win and the dress.

*Beat the Beat

Jersey Shore is frickin' awesome.

Even more awesome is watching it with Page Six. For whatever reason everything in the show is just *that* much funnier. I'm devastated to know it's going off the air next week. Good thing I've still got Bad Girls Club to fulfill my trashy tv requirement.

*I'd Like to Thank...

The Bachelor, Biggest Loser, repeats of 30 Rock, and Season 5 of Six Feet Under for keeping me company this past week. I never would have gotten through without you. However, "Fame" and "Julie and Julia" can suck it. They just put me to sleep.

*You Done Look...

Ril Weird, Heidi Montag.

Seriously, WHAT did you do? Her last plastic surgery was an improvement, I'll give her that. but this? Eek. No 23 year old should look like that. And it's even SCARIER when it talks!! I watched an interview yesterday and was seriously frightened.

In other "You look weird news...."

Remember DJ's boyfriend "Steve" from Full House? He done got old!!!!

Sigh...he was always so cute. Oh how the years have not been kind....

*Just for the Record...

I'm Team Conan, all the way.

More-O started a blog, ya'll!! It's fun, quirky, and cute. Just like it's host!! I encourage you to check it out here

And hell yeah I came up with the title. What what??!!!

It Lives!!

2010-01-19T13:16:00.002-05:00

So yeah, blah blah blah, I had surgery.

Honestly, and I never thought I'd say this, I'm a bit sick of talking about it. Like, yeah, my arm's in a sling "oh my god what happened" but I can only say the same thing over and over without sounding like a broken record. However, I feel like I owe it to you, the BriTunes readers of the world, to give you a few details. Cause I know you're all on pins and needles. Or at the very least, pins.

*The surgery went fine on Tuesday. Apparently the tear in my shoulder was larger than they anticipated but they sewed it up and la dee da. I had a bit of nasuea coming out of recovery but I'm happy to say I did not throw up (doesn't mean I didn't gag my brains out). Don't remember saying anything too crazy, although I did ask for water and a hamburger more than once. More-O was there with me throughout the day and honestly, I can't express how amazing he was. It was really scary as I'd never had surgery before but having him there was very calming, and needed!

*They done gave me a shot in my NECK!!! I had an IV (which I hate) but they also needed to give me a nerve block to numb the right side of my body. And they have to administer this shot IN YOUR NECK. Freaks me out just thinking about it.

*They made me wear a silly hat. Like, f'real, made me.

I tried taking it off but they made me put it back on, the bastards. Still, I made sure I looked surgery fierce.

*The pain was pretty instense on Wednesday and Thursday. I learned that one Vicodin just doesn't cut it, but two conks me out. Many, many naps were taking on my couch.

*I was finally able to wash myself (partially) on Friday. Yeah, I know, nasty. You can't even imagine how hard it is to shower/dress/put contacts in/do your hair/ etc etc with only one arm. I've managed, but it was definitely a learning experience.

*IV's SUCK.

*Ice Packs are my friend.

*It SUCKS to sleep in a sling. I had to position myself so that I wouldn't roll over on my arm and had to prop it in a way that wouldn't cause strain on it over night. I finally found a position last night on my side that was somewhat comfortable but when I woke up at 6:30 my arm was in mega pain. Back to the drawing board.

*Typing with one hand blows. However, I've worked it so that I can type with two hands at work. It causes my shoulder to ache, but screw it. I'd rather ache than type slowly.

*Friends and family are awesome. I can't thank you people enough for the calls, concern, texts, emails, and Facebook messages. It's nice to know you're loved.

*It's hard to bowl left handed. However, I still managed to pull off a 70!

*When no Ice Packs are available, use a Lean Cuisine!!

Work has definitely been putting me through it today, but I guess that was to be expected. I'll be back later because I got lots to say but for now...

You're welcome.

Keep Holding On

2010-01-15T11:38:00.001-05:00

I miss you BriTunes readers!!! I'm doing ok, f'real, but man am I in pain sometimes. Stupid pain pills not working...Anyway, here is the video I was raving about a few weeks ago - wanted to share. Please to enjoy.

Magic and Wonder

2010-01-14T15:53:00.001-05:00

I'm Alive!!!

2010-01-13T12:13:00.001-05:00

Surgery went well, I'm home recovering, but in a lot of pain. And evvvvery time I take a pain pill I think of....

Adieu

2010-01-11T16:26:00.002-05:00

Hey ya'll. Well, the big day has come - I'll be getting shoulder surgery tomorrow. As I'll be out of comission for the rest of this week and in a sling the minute I get back to work next week, I'm afraid BriTunes is going to have to take a bit of a hiatus. I'm sure I'll post something here and there and you'll be hearing from me before you know but the daily posts are simply impossible.

I've heard many well wishes and I thank everyone for their thoughts and love. I'm definitely nervous, but know that it'll be fine.

Even if my doctor has four fingers.

Ta Ta for now!!

Thank You, MTV

2010-01-08T11:06:00.005-05:00

I can sum up the new season of "The Real World: Washington D.C." in a few simple pictures and words.

White girl/Gay guy make out

White girl/Black guy make out

Black guy/Hoochie random make out

Gay guy/Gay random make out

White guy/random tranny make out, part 1

White guy/random tranny make out Part 2

Black guy/white girl make out

And now you're all caught up on "The Real World: Washington D.C." Don't you feel better?

In addition to RW, I can also sum up the new episode of "Jersey Shore" in a few pictures:

The amazing, wonderful, Claaaaaaaassic Barb. She can do no wrong.

Her friend, Hippo.

Ronnie, bustin' windows out cho car.

Annnnnnnnnd......

Snookie.

These shows are so dumb, so mind-numbing, and I will continue to watch and love both of them all season long. What can I say, it's the little things.

Oh No You Didn't!!!

2010-01-08T10:09:00.002-05:00

Mischa Barton...

Guurrrrllll, I know you didn't!!! What is wrong with you? Who in their right mind would go out of the house looking like that??! I mean...besides Britney Spears.

People, people, people, when will you learn? If you're a celebrity and you leave the house, WE CAN SEE YOU!!! Put some effort into your appearance!!!

The 'FML' day continued yesterday when I bought a new pair of jeans from J.Crew, got home, and even though they were my normal size they were wayyyyyyy too small. FML. My shirt, however, is fabulous. I bought a space heater like Page Six's to warm up my room overnight but when we both turned ours on we blew a fuse. Twice. FML.

My surgery is Tuesday and I'm really starting to get nervous. Not for the surgery so much as for the recovery. I honestly don't know how I' going to handle having only one arm for a month - eek!

On a side note this morning, who the frak is this kid?

Justin Bieber? Beeber? I don't know, am I old or just not in the loop, or what? Apparently he's 15 but he looks like either a 15-year old girl or a lesbian. Or a very young Tatum O'Neal.

Off to get some things done - enjoy the day!

Wah Waaaaahhhh

2010-01-07T15:53:00.002-05:00

I got nothin.'

No, f'real...like, nothing. Motivation, energy, self-control, you name it I ain't got it. Let's see...

*I went to the dentist yesterday. I have a lot of cavities and need a night guard because I grind my teeth. A night guard? I'm so Miranda. FML.

*I've been really good with my pre-surgery diet, having egg whites for breakfast and grilled chicken for lunch with a light dinner. And yet, I just ate a giant pack of Mike and Ikes. Second one in two days. FML.

*The State of the Union address may preempt the premiere of "Lost."

FML.

*I have a raging headache and due to my surgery I can't take any Tylenol or anything. FML.

* I still have no Hulu. FML.

Some days it's really easy to look on the bright side of things but there are those days where you're not great, you're not horrible, you're just kinda there.

However, after work today I'm planning on buying this shirt:

and that makes me very, very happy.

Also Mary J. Blige and Elton singing "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues"

also makes me very, very happy. And sad. It's a catch-22!

Ugh, screw it. Where's that damn Tylenol?!

Just 'cuz

2010-01-07T12:47:00.000-05:00

Cory Monteith.

Just 'cuz.

A Whole New Post

2010-01-06T10:47:00.004-05:00

Dear Kate Gosselin:

No.

I mean, I can't....I don't....do you think that actually looks GOOD??!! Not only does it not work for your face but the extenstions are so bad. Could they look ANY less real? They're almost as bad as Britney's!!!

Love you Brit Brit but you gotsta do something about those 'tensions.

Dear Katie Perry

No. Don't make me regret buying "Waking Up in Vegas" from iTunes. As a side note, you might want to get tested for an STD before consumating the marriage.

Kind of a quiet day today. My morning started off awesome, I got another mini Christmas bonus, and there is a spontaneous Dodgeball open play tonight. Not bad for a Wednesday. However, with Hulu not working for us at work I'm a little stressed about how I'm going to fit in the copious amounts of tv that I watch. I'm always doing other stuff and have it on in the background - it's this thing I have - I always need to be doing two things at once. When I watch tv at home I always need a crossword or something to keep my hands busy. I don't know if it's because I'm ADD or jittery or what, but it's just this thing I have. At work Hulu used to calm me but in its absence I've had to go out and look for something else. I know Pandora, I (kinda sorta) like Pandora but I have to say - today? It's ROCKING MY WORLD.

I have the Glee station on (naturally) and it's just like, amazing song after amazing song. They're throwing all this Disney stuff at me that I never expected. I was sitting here minutes ago with actual tears streaming down my face to "Beauty and the Beast."

It's a tale as old as time, yo!!! The forces were against them and they made it work! Ugh. Amazing. That's some good shit right thurr. And then they go and throw The Little Mermaid at me? Pandora, let's get married.

Remember how amazing Mermaid was (is)? I mean, this move?

I attempt it EVERY time I'm in a pool. Amazeballs.

I have a dentist appointment tonight - first one in 2.5 years. EEK!!

No my teeth don't look like that, but 2.5 years is a long time! On the plus side, I feel like I take relatively good care of my teeth and floss/brush as much as recommended but on the down side.....I done eat a LOT of candy. So we'll see. The visit could go either way. I'm just happy that my teeth are straight, pretty, and white. Which I'm sure is exactly how my mother wishes I was.

Hey, 2 out of 3 ain't bad!!

Morning "Delights"

2010-01-05T10:06:00.004-05:00

Tuesday - favorite day of the week and you know it is. Everyone's definitely in full on work mode, despite desperately not wanting to be. It makes for some interesting moods. A few things that made my morning *extra* special:

My apartment was literally 10 degrees this morning. Must. Buy. Space. Heater. STAT!

2.

After thawing myself out in the shower, I hopped on the Subway when what to my wandering eyes should appear but a miniature guitar and eight tiny Mexicans. Okay there wasn't eight of them but it was a full on Mariachi band! On the subway. At 8:40 am. Listen, I'm not a fan of Mariachi bands ever really (unless I'm in Mexico on the beach sipping a margarita) but I'm definitely not of fan of them on the subway and DEFINITELY not a fan of them on the subway at 8:40 am. Needless to say, I cranked up the vintage Alanis I've been rocking lately and did my best to drown them out.

I've been known to take advantage of the 5-second rule, who hasn't. But seriously homegirl? Seriously? This morning in the cafeteria a homegirl dropped a bagel on the floor - CREAM CHEESE SIDE DOWN - and picked it up, put it in her tin foil, and walked to the check out. I know this because I followed her to see what she would do. I have to have faith (HAVE TO) that she didn't eat it. Because that shit is nasty.

Hulu no longer works at work. I'm devastated.

In a slightly bright spot to my day....I walk in and found this on my desk from one of my analysts.

I need someone to help me pop that top right quick! Martinis tonight, anyone?

Four Score and Seven...wait...what?

2010-01-04T10:53:00.005-05:00

This morning, I was compared to Abraham Lincoln.

Wait, WHAT? No, I didn't help free any slaves. No, my face is not on a penny (although it should be, obviously), but instead my boss said "Hey Abe" because I have a beard. F'real? A beard and the first person you go to is Abe Lincoln? It was all just so random...but please do notice that he's wearing a bow tie. That's right, Abe-y baby knew where it was at. Work it betch.

You heard that right, WORK. As in, I'm back at work! Blech!

Oh yes, first day for everyone back to work after the break and what a day it has been. Have I been able to take a breath? Yeah...not s'much. But I've been very productive and worked out and had a great lunch. So things could be much worse I suppose. Worse like....

Hey Cruz, your bear is stupid and so are you. Ugh, he's the pits.

Speaking of stupid and pits...you guys know my nemesis Danny Gokey, right?

Gokey.....Anyway, he got a new tattoo that he posted on Twitter. Now, I don't follow him on Twitter (oh hell to the no) but More-O managed to draw my attention to this amazing piece of art work:

Yeah, Sophia is the name of his dead wife. Oh what's that? You didn't hear his wife died? Funny because he talked about it on Idol every FIVE SECONDS. I mean, sad, whatever, he drives me crazy. I think it's safe to say he officially cemented his Bachelor status for the rest of his life. I mean, who's going to marry him again with that giant ass thing poking out? Let's just hope he meets another girl named Sophia.

Did you guys hear? It's 2010.

How was your New Years Eve? Why, mine was delightful, thank you for asknig!!!

Had dinner with these gorgeous bitches, and then headed to Ant Rapp's house for a little pre-party before Ben's. A few conclusions I came to:

1. I love it when Anthony brings in a professional cleaner. The place looked amazing. Can't wait to have a party there! Maybe a "Yay I didn't die during shoulder surgery" party?

2. More-O and I look much better in black and white.

But really, who doesn't?

3. Craig should always be kept away from all light switches that effect mood lighting.

As it was though, a delightful time.

It is? Thank goodness I just barely turned 21 - don't want to be breaking any laws now!

Ben's was a great time, lots of dodgeballers I haven't seen since before the break and the champagne was a flowin'! Awesome midnight kiss and I wasn't hungover when I woke up (alone, thank you very much) on Friday. It's the little things people, the little things.

My peeps, I gotsta go. Just way too much to do and such little time to do it in. Open play for Dodgeball tonight, and it's also the return of The Bachelor!! What do we think about Jake?

I mean, of course I'd hit it (well obvi) but is it wrong I just don't like the guy? I never was really about him on last seasons "Bachelorette" and find it kind of creepy that he flew back just to tell Jillian that Wes was a creep. It came off desperate and needy and not as valliant as he made it seem. It should be an interesting, if not bumpy, ride.

Bumpy, like sex? Oh, wait, bumpy because he's an AIRLINE PILOT!!! I get it!!! Yay....puns.

Bye, Bye Miss 2009

2009-12-31T13:03:00.006-05:00

2009 is almost done.

Did you guys hear Michael Jackson died this year?

I had planned on doing a giant BriTunes recap a la last year but I came to the conclusion that any list or group of pictures couldn't possible recount the amount of fun and laughs I've had this year. I've been very blessed to be surrounded by amazing people this year, and have had many great opportunites come my way. A few highlights of my year:

*Craig's parties: Suspenders and Mustaches/Daisy Dukes/B.A.N.D.I.T.S.

*DC Doug's February visit

*Britney concert/Tori Concert/Jason Mraz concert/Kelly Clarkson concert/P!nk concert

*Multiple drunk brunches

*Pat's wedding

*Moving in with Page Six

*Laurie's wedding

*Trips to Ohio and Wisconsin

*Trips in Madge (Paintball, Six Flags, Haunted House)

*Amazing times in Dodgeball

*Harry Potter premiere

*My perfect birthday party

*Pat's New York visit

*Dodgeball masked ball

*Spring Break 2009 Part 2: The Duel

*Glee

*Halloween

*Spanksgiving 2009

*Pride at Andrew's house

*Blogging for Tyra

*Countless Karaoke's and game nights

I'm convinced I know some of the greatest and funniest people on the planet. I'm so thankful to everyone who has made me into who I am today. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Tonight I'm having a dinner with the group and then we're heading to a few parties, one of them being Anthony Rapp's. It's so crazy to me that 10 years ago I was in Salt Lake with Heidi and Ramsey and when the ball dropped at midnight I sang "5, 4, 3, open sesame! Happy New Year...." and now this year I'll be celebrating New Years Eve with the man who sang that lyric on stage.

Truly a full circle moment. Happy New Year everyone!

How I Spent My Winter Vacation

2009-12-29T15:33:00.005-05:00

Well now, BriTunes has had a bit of a vacation, hasn't it? I hope that you a restful and enjoyable holiday and that you're looking forward to the New Year. Seeing as I have spent the past two days at work being totally lazy and unproductive, I fear today is the day when I actually have to do WORK so that when my boss comes back to the office he doesn't hate me for not getting anything done. Therefore, a quick recap, of How I Spent My Winter Vacation.

After nearly missing my flight (damn you Newark airport and your confusing terminals and long security lines) I made it to Ohio safe and sound. Basically Tuesday-Thursday consisted of this

and this

with a little of this

and a little more of this

What can I say, I love my dog, sleeping, and booze. If you were in my situation you would take advantage of the same things. Tuesday was my parent's 30th Anniversary (30 years, holy macanoli!) and my mom took advantage of this by trying on her wedding dress.

I mean, she's totally adorable but am I the only one that's reminded a liiiiittle bit of Geena Davis I'm Beetlejuice?

I'm just sayin.'

As with any Christmas holiday, you crave Christmas food. So it was only apropos that on Wednesday night we venture out into the cold and have Japanese food.

Longest. Dinner. EVER. The manager tried to buy our love at the end of the meal by giving the entire table free beers. Yeah, cause that's just what we want after waiting 30 minutes for our bill, an excuse to stay at the restaurant more.

Christmas Eve came and so of course that meant my sister and I had to buy new outfits to wear to church.

It's tradition, and I'm not one to break tradition! Page Six made a comment that we both look ready to join the Rhythm Nation and I might have to agree with him.

Up until this year we would open presents from the family Christmas Eve and then Santa would come Christmas morning. As we're all old now and like to sleep, we decided to open presents Christmas Eve and then ate dinner on the couch watching "Christmas Vacation."

After that we read "twas the Night Before Christmas" in accents. I think it's the start of another amazing tradition!

I have nothing funny to say for this picture. It speaks for itself.

My aunt and uncle came over Christmas Day, and then the next day it was time for me to head to the airport. Long story short - I spent six hours in the Columbus airport, was boarded on the plane and taxied out to the runway, then taken off the plane again and made to wait more. I finally said "enough is enough" and asked to have my flight changed to Monday. This way, I could stay another day and see my cousins and still be to work (relatively) on time Monday morning.

My cousins didn't think I was coming and so being the drama queen that I am, I couldn't just walk in the door...I had to surprise them!!

I love that my Cousin Dan is clutching his pearls.

What a good looking group!!

We played some games, I played with my cousin's two adorable kids

and of course ate and drank a whole lot more.

After more family pictures (miss you Pat and Justine!)

it was time for me to get on a plane (f'real this time) and head back to the NYC.

Of course it's always bittersweet to come home. New York is loud, rough, and everything moves that much faster here. You miss the simplicities of home, the free food (and laundry) and the comfort of being around your family. But when I arrived Monday I took a deep breath and realized that "God, I really did MISS New York." I missed the simplicities of New York, the amazing food, and the comfort of being around my friends - of looking them in the eyes and knowing that I've found another family that will do anything for me (and vice versa). New York doesn't come without its challenges, but for the first time in a long time, I know I'm exactly where I should be.

"Peter's gay, dad. GAAAAAYYYY!"

2009-12-21T15:00:00.005-05:00

Woah!! Way harsh, Tai!!

I'm sure ya'll have heard by now, but Brittany Murphy gone and done died!!! They're saying it was a heart attack and that no drugs were involved, but I'm a little hesitant to believe it. I mean, who dies of a heart attack at 32?! Back in the day I watched Clueless probably 62 times in the course of a month - I loved me some Clueless. I even recorded the movie on to an audio cassette and listened to the movie as I fell asleep. Obsessed. And Drop Dead Gorgeous? I mean, amazing. (hence the subject line of this blog) She may have been super crazy, but she'll be missed. Can 2009 end already so celebs will stop dying?!

This weekend was...I mean....there are no words. Holiday parties, good friends, lots of food, and lots of snow!! Page Six and I exchanged presents on Saturday and he gave me...

America's Funniest Home Video Dvd's!!! Amazeballs. You know I done popped one of those in right away. Saturday night was the giant NYC snowstorm but I braved the elements to attend a few parties. While walking a bit later, I came across this place

New Directions!!! It's like Glee!!! It's also a rehab center so when it's time for me to go, I think I know which one I'm going to pick!

Yesterday was the annual HoliDavid at DBrandon's house. We had food, drinks, and...

American Idol karaoke!!!!

It was a tough competition, but when all was said and done, I came in first!! Awwwwww yeah! I won...a thong and some movie card game...but I won!! The title always means more than the prize.

Saturday our furnace busted and scalding hot water was shooting across our apartment. While attempting to fix, I burned the hell out of my fingers. In the below picture, I'm explaining my bliters to Lynne

The look of horror on her face is priceless. It wasn't that bad, but at the time it hurt like hell!

After the competition was over, we were sitting around talking and this foul smell appeared out of nowhere. No one fessed up to it, and so we started looking at where the smell originated from...

I don't know that we ever found out what the hell was stinking up the apt. Fun times had by all, but holy mackinoly I'm tired today!!

This picture...

does things to me. Makes my heart melt and my pants tight.

I leave for Ohio first thing in the morning tomorrow to visit the fam for Christmas. Hard to believe this will be the 5th time I've seen them this year - a new record. My brother won't be with us because he likes his new family better, but I'll be able to see my dog and that's all that really matters. I'm really hoping to unplug for a bit when I go home. My head has been a big ol mess lately and I'm hoping that some time away from things will help to clear it a bit. Before I go though...a gift from me to you.

AH!! What the - ? That's not the picture I was going to put there! That's one scary ass Santa! I wonder how that picture got there...

*gasp* Nemesis. I shoulda known. Why I oughta....you're getting nothing but coal this year Beckham!!

Happy Birthday Husband!!!

2009-12-19T14:52:00.002-05:00

I'd like to wish a Happy Birthday to my husband, Jake Gyllenhaal.

Jakey-Poo, I'll love you foreva and eva!

I just finished some Chipotle, it's snowing outside, and I'm watching Intervention. Christmas came early, yes?

Tis Better to Give Than Receive?

2009-12-18T11:18:00.003-05:00

I like receiving presents. I mean, hello. I'm human, who doesn't like receiving gifts? I'll never deny this fact. But I have to admit, I really thinking I like giving them a whole lot more. When you find the perfect present for someone, there's nothing better than the anticipation of giving it to them, or seeing their faces when they open it. I've got two people this year where I'm like "done. PERFECT present." I'm so excited to give it to them, I don't know that I can wait any longer. I've never been good with that whole "patience" thing.

Last night I went out for drinks with my homegirls from work. Maria Conchita Gonzalez, who used to sit next to me, decided to try some sushi. Now, she doesn't normally eat sushi as she's allergic to shellfish, but she thought that taking out the fish would make it okay. Yeah. I dunno. So we're all sitting there talking, when all of a sudden she grabs my arm and is like "oh mah gawd. Oh mah gawd. What did I just eat? Oh mah gawd." Homegirl done ATE THE GIANT ROLL OF WASABI!! Idiot. Lucky she only swallowed about half of it but watching her squirm for ten minutes was kiiiiiind of hilarious.

After drinks I was done with the day. Cold. Exhausted. It was time for pad thai and the couch. Luckily Page Six was home so we watched a little telly and then watched Jersey Shore. Now I've seen this show before but for some reason it was frakkin' hilarious last night. Oh my God, we were dying. My favorite was the cockblocker "Barb." Well, this morning he sent me this:

and I almost busted a gut. AMAZING.

This day (hell, this week) has put me through it. I can't believe how busy I've been. But it's almost done (so close!) and then I just have Monday to get through and then it's off to Ohio. Bitch can't wait. Hopefully you guys were able to maintain some of your sanity this week. Peace out biotches.

Life Ain't Fair

2009-12-17T15:41:00.002-05:00

Today I get to hang out with this:

More-O today get's to hang out with this tonight

At the premiere of Sherlock Holmes.

You know....sometimes life just ain't fair.

So You Think You Can...WHAT??!!!!

2009-12-17T09:47:00.003-05:00

You know what?

No.

I haven't blogged much about this season of So You Think You Can Dance, mostly because it has been just downright awful. The contestants have been bland and boring and I really feel like the talent of the past few seasons was missing this year. Letting this motha trucka in as permanent judge

was just downright mean and awful. I ended up being able to tolerate him in small doses last year but now even the sight of him makes me sick. Mia Michals left, which is great for her, but gave me exactly 0 choreographers to look forward to.

Mary and Nigel reached excessive levels of obnoxiousness, I hated the stage, and thanks to all the changes Nigel made (yes, I blame him) this show went from one of my absolute favorites to one I would just fast forward through, if I watched at all. And now Russell wins. Russell, he with the miraculously fast healing leg, wins over my beloved Jakob.

The kid was the shit. He has more talent in one of his perfectly pointed toes than Russell has in all of his unwashed braids. I call for a recount!!!

Zoobilee Zoo!

2009-12-17T01:37:00.001-05:00

Memories....like the corners of my mind....

I used to watch this shit EVERY DAY when I was little. Please to enjoy.

BAM.

2009-12-16T15:13:00.003-05:00

Don't know if you heard the news yesterday...

BAM. Golden Globe Nomination.

BAM. Golden Globe nomination.

I know, I know, I'm a day late, a dollar short and blah blah blah but I wasn't at work yesterday. I took the day off so I could recuperate from the end of season Dodgeball party and booooooyy did I need it. Those dodgeballers really know how to party and I'm definitely going to miss being around them every week.

Why does my face look like that?

Next season should be interesting with my surgery and everything. Plus all of the newbies will think they're hot shit now that they're not new anymore - CAN'T WAIT. I'm happy to announce, however, that I am an award winner. Monday at the party they gave out awards for Shortest shorts, Biggest Flirt, Best Catcher on the Court, etc. My award?

The Person Most Likely to be Upset They Didn't Win an Award award.

The prize? A mirror. Amazing. I totally died - thought it was hilarious.

More-O was also an award winner - Best Flip-Cupper. He couldn't have recieved any truer award and I'm so proud!

The mirror I won was the greatest. It had a big mirror in the front and three little mirrors on the back so that even if someone else needed to see your mirror, you could still see yourself on the back!! And then....oh....then....the horror.

Some drunk ass knocked my mirror out of my hand!!!! Devastated!!!

Today has been a day for me. On edge and totally behind. I can tell people are starting to get the holiday spirit but unfortunately that just means that they're loud and annoying while I'm trying to get stuff done. Oh yeah, and I had a bagel for breakfast and haven't been to the gym in four days.

Sigh. I'm such a failure.

Really, People.com?

2009-12-16T11:29:00.002-05:00

I mean...

I can't even. It's one of those days....

Just 'Cuz

2009-12-15T14:58:00.001-05:00

Justin Timberlake.

Just 'cuz.

Weekend Recap

2009-12-14T13:53:00.002-05:00

Hoo boy, what a weekend!

Friday

Went to a few holiday parties with More-O and the boys. Came across the scariest holiday ornament EVER.

That's some serious children of the corn scary Chucky shit right there.

Saturday

More-O's Aunt runs a dance studio in their hometown of Chicapee, Massachusetts. Last year More-O "created" a character by the name of Nicholas Nickelbee and this year he invited me along to see. Last week we came up with the idea that I should co-host with him as William Willabee. Cut to a few days later....

Imagine me and More-O, 540 people in the audience, and about 50 little girls dancing to "Jingle Bell Rock." More-O and I played these over the top British characters, made jokes about Frosty and Rudolph, and did an American Idol and Dreamgirls bit. We were totally ridiculous, and it was a complete blast.

Afterwards we went back to his Aunt's house and I got to know his Uncles, Aunts, and 15 cousins. It was really fun and really cool to see where my Best Friend grew up and why he is the way he is. My brother always implies that I order Apple-tini's everywhere I go. This is not true. I actually don't like Apple-flavored things. However, in Mass., I had the best Apple-tini of my life.

Please note that is my plate and it is almost licked clean. Amazing.

Sunday

More-O and I were on the first bus back to the NYC becuase you know we didn't want to be late for.....BOWLING!!!

Now last week I had the high scores, a feat I am very proud of. This week, however, my first game was a 107!! Terrible! I wasn't even in the top three scores!! I played the second game though, and did a little bit better with a 197. 197!!!! That's amazing!!! Best game of my life. During the matches we took opportunities to show off our shirts.

Fliritini....I can't even....

My favorite shirt is Ben's.

Mostly because the word doesn't completely fit. Hilar.

Went to play some flip cup with a lot of straight people afterwards and despite some trouble between my Frienemy and I...

...a fun time was had by all.

I fell asleep at 9:30 last night. 9:30!! That's unheard of!! Tonight is the dodgeball end of season party and if the rest of this season has been any indication, it's sure to be a roaring good time!

A Christmas Story

2009-12-11T16:23:00.005-05:00

Sigh. I'm totally Jenna.

Every year Jenna gets the solo and this year they were going to give it to Cheynne Jackson's character. Until Jenna says:

"Fine, I'm terrible at Christmas because I never had a nice one. Sometimes my mom would take us to see Santa Claus but that's just because she suspected one of them was my deadbeat dad. So I had to get on every Santa's lap in the Bakersfield area and scream "you outta be ashamed of yourself Travis!"
And then I'd sing carols in the middle of Sears just to distract everyone while my mom shoplifted. And those few minutes when I was singing carols, that was the one part of Christmas I liked. And now you've taken that away from me. "

So he sings off-key and she has the solo.

And I liked that part. And the speech. And I'm ready to go home. The end. Happy weekend everyone!

The Unthinkable.

2009-12-11T11:26:00.003-05:00

Last night I did....ugh. I can't even talk about it. But I must. I have to face the demon - confront my fears and admit my mistakes. Last night I did a few things I'm not proud of but...sigh. Here we go.

Last night I went to Brooklyn to hang out with the boy.

We watched Glee, got dinner, and decided to watch a movie. The movie of choice?

Adventureland. Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Kirsten Wiig, and.....

sigh...the face. Yes, I willingly watched a move, nay, CHOSE a movie starring....that one. I don't know what's wrong with me. I truly don't. It was that or Saving Private Ryan - what was I supposed to do? Where do I go from here though? I mean, am I going to have tea and crumpets with my nemesis?

ARGH! BECKHAM.

Anyway, her face bugged me, she did this lip licking thing, and her character sucked. Brian, 1. The face, 0.

I'm also thiiiiiiis close to dumping the boy. Last week we went to a screening of Sherlock Holmes

and I bought a big bag of Sour Patch Kids.

You know me, I like my candy, I like eating things during movies - sowhatwhocares. Anyway, I ate about half of them and didn't want to carry them around all night so I said to the boy: "here, put these in your bag and I'll eat them later. It'll be a nice surprise next time I see you." Well last night, I saw his bag and I was like "ooh, yay! I can have some Sour Patch Kids!" His response?

"Oh yeah. I threw them away."

HOMO SAY WHAT?!!! You THREW AWAY Sourt Patch Kids? WILLINGLY?! I just...I can't...I mean...perfectly good SPK, gone. Forever. In the trash. Never to return.

Sigh...I knew he was too good to be true.

An Open Letter

2009-12-10T16:21:00.001-05:00

Dear Taylor Swift,

You look like a man.

Love,
Brian

Glee-Cap

2009-12-10T12:13:00.003-05:00

Please say it ain't so. Please say Glee REALLY isn't gone until April 13. I honestly don't know what I'll do but I'm so so happy we had such a fantastic episode to tide us over until new episodes come back. A few highlights.

1. Sexting

Santana: Sexting isn't sex.
Brit: Yeah, if it was, Santana and I would be dating.

Uh.....excuse me??!!! This is a delightful little surprise I had no clue about! That Santana's a bit of a hoochie ho, no? Oh Brit...I shall miss your wonderful wonderful one-liners. Sigh.

2. And I Am Telling You....

...that Mercedes is friggin incredible. I've heard some great versions of this song but this one might just be the best. And the moment that Rachel and Mercedes have after it's done? Rachel giving Mercedes the solot? AH-Mazing.

Rachel: It's clear the room adores you. And even though it wouldn't be my first choice but I can't wait to see you sing that song at sectionals. You're amazing Mercedes and you deserve it. I'm gonna hug you now.

3. If You Wanna Ride Wit' Me.

I see that they got Artie a ride to Sectionals....

4. Hi!

I love love LOVED when the deaf choir was singing and Britney waved to them!!! Hilarious.

5. Santana Has a Heart

On leaking the set list:

Santana: Okay look - believe what you want but no one's forcing me to be here. And if you tell anyone this I'll deny it but...I like being in glee club. It's the best part of my day, okay? I wasn't going to mess that up.

It's the best part of my day too, Santana.

6. SING OUT LEA

Lea Michele singing Barbara Streisand? I don't know that it gets better. This performance was OFF THE CHAIN. The spotlight, the opening of the curtain, the interaction with the audience and then when the kids come through the back of the house? Ugh. I can't even. Yes, Lea's lip synching could use a little (lot) work, but I'll just ignore for now.

7. "Ladies and Gentlemen, New Directions!"

This song/performance/moment made me very happy. Okay, I may have been sobbing during it while watching last night. In fact, I probably looked a little like this:

8. Don't Cry Outloud

Aw, WILL!!! How adorable was this? The fact that he was dialed in so he could listen to the competition really had my heart feeling feelings. Now just because he couldn't go WITH the glee club doesn't explain why he couldn't go to the competition at all but.....again. I'll ignore.

9. This woman:

Is AMAZING.

Candace: "Okay, I'm just gonna come out and say it. This is a singing competition. I don't know how those deaf kids got in. THey weren't singing, they were like, honking. And everyone was crying and I was like 'get off the stage you're terrible and you're making me super uncomfortable.'

I love her.

10. Love ya like a sister

Sue had some really great scary moments this episode and some amazing one liners. I may miss her the most of all.

Sue: "Get ready for the ride of your life Will Shuester. You're about to board the Sue Sylvester express. Destination: HORROR."

11. Dear Glee:

My life will suck without you. And Britney's face in this picture? I can't.

12. The kiss heard round the school

Will running down the hall to kiss the woman he belongs with? I mean, was I the only one crying? This whole episode just had the tears flowing, the feelings feeling and my ears tingling from all the vocal goodness I was hearing. I'm glad that some story lines were wrapped up, all the while introducing some new fun ones. It is going to be a LONG 123 days (yes, Page Six counted).

I know you'll miss the Gleecaps, I know...I know....but I'll be sure to fill you in on any Glee news I hear along the way (like how Idina Menzel is in talks to join the cast for 9 episodes...WHAT WHAT??!!)

Carrie On

2009-12-10T09:47:00.001-05:00

Exactly WHO is Lady Gaga??

2009-12-10T02:02:00.001-05:00

Why oh WHY does Lady Gaga make me cry in interviews?

Don't Leave Me This Way

2009-12-09T14:32:00.006-05:00

Nooooooo!!!! After 13 GLORIOUS episodes, tonight will be the last installment of Glee until April. Why they decided to keep us waiting four months after the fall finale, I'll never know.

However, it is what it is and we all must deal with it. Oh how I shall miss laughing at the funny things Brit says and giggling with delight over Finn's antics and freaking out when Rachel hits an amazing note and lusting over Mr. Shuster and "hey Gurl hey"-ing with Mercedes and queening out with Kurt and loving Quinn and....sigh...I'll miss everything. I'll miss downloading the new songs Monday nights and watching screeners with Page Six and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. As it is though, we've had some great moments and some GREAT performances. A few faves:

Best Rachel Solo:

Rachel has had some amazing moments, and some amazing solos - Taking Chances, On My Own, etc. I think my favorite though was Take a Bow and judging from the amount of times I've played it on my iTunes, my computer would agree with me. I have to tell you though, once you've heard her "Don't Rain On My Parade" you are going to DIE. Seriously. D.I.E. It is one of the most amazing versions of that song I've ever heard.

Best OMG Moment

When we first saw "Somebody to Love" I think we can all agree we fell THAT much harder for Glee. It was the first time we had all 12 for a group number and the first number that was really BIG. And that note by Mercedes at the end? I can't.

Best Duet

No Air was great, Defying Gravity, etc, but in terms of pure vocal brilliance and comedic potential, Endless Love takes the cake. Matt and Lea's voices blend like honey - brills.

Best Mash-Up

Although I reeeeeeally loved Crazy In Love/Hair (BLECH) I think that It's My Life/Confessions takes the cake. The boys hyped up on Vitamin D and the combination of the two songs makes this a pretty damn fun moment in the series. A word of warning though - don't try this at karaoke. It's harder than it looks (right More-O?)

THE Glee Moment

I mean, it has to be "Don't Stop Believin," riiiight? No greater version exists!

Most Touching Song

I know the easy answer is to say Imagine, but the one song that really touched me (and still does) is Keep Holding On. Even though I never really liked the song before this, the arrangement, choreography, and meaning behind why they're singing it is something that I j'adore.

Most FUN Song

HELLO - it's totally Jump. You could tell how much they were having and in turn that made me enjoy this song the most. I still crack up every time I think of Mercedes sitting on that front mattress just waiiiiiling away.

Best Choreography

Even though Ben called this song "offensive" I happen to think it was a fantastic time. The amount of time it would take me to learn what they learned...I mean...I can't even. The fact that they did a routine in wheelchairs is amazing and truly something I don't know I've ever seen. Well, the basketball wheelchair game on Saved By The Bell came close...but Glee takes the cake.

Biggest "Aww...." Moment

The kids singing Lean On Me to Finn and Quinn. Totally cute, totally great song, totally great moment. Totally.

Best Overall Group Number

I may be jumping the gun a bit here....and call me presumptuous if you will but....I really think that tonight's number at Sectionals will be the best one yet. I've heard "You Can't Always Get What You Want" and it blew me away. If the staging of the number is even half as good as it is in my head, I think we're all in for a BIG treat.

I'm dying to know - what are YOUR favorite numbers from the first 13 episodes? Even if you never comment, comment now because I gotsta know if I'm alone in my choices. And if anyone says that "Bust a Move" or "You're Having My Baby" was their favorite, you're fired.

Hate Your...What's Wrong With Your Face??!!

2009-12-09T10:26:00.001-05:00

Something I love...a lot.

Something I've always hated.

And now they're joining forces. WHAT?! Yes, apparently Corbin BLEW is joining In the Heights as Usnavi, a Puero Rican character. Um..........

I don't know why but I've always been horribly annoyed by Corbin BLEW. He's just someone that I want to punch, kind of like the lady at the gym with the really toned arms who's always up in my biz. They're not a nemesis, not a frenemy, I just want to punch them. Does that make me weird?

Last night Page Six, More-O and I had a great time hanging out at the house putting up Christmas decorations and trying to watch Heather Locklear move her new face on Melrose Place.

No, not THAT face silly!

Theeeeeeeeere we go. Seriously!! WHAT is UP with her FACE??!! I just don't get it!!

Brothers and Vampires...

2009-12-08T16:13:00.002-05:00

So in between going crazy by my computer crashing, my mail server being slow, and the phones ringing off the hook, I was able to catch Brothers and Sisters while working on a report. I paused it to answer the phone and when I came back I was like "wait, when did the guy from Twilight start on this show?"

I mean, RIGHT? Brothers and Sisters is also putting me through it. Justin? Can drop dead. I mean, one of the most insufferable characters on television right now. Tommy? I mean what? Who? Sarah? Try a story line sometime. It's just a-nnoying.

Annnnnnnnd back to reports...

Save the Vajay Jay

2009-12-08T10:35:00.003-05:00

You guys know that Michelle Duggar chick, right? The one that had 17 kids? Oh wait, it's 18 and she's pregnant with her 19th, that's what the sitch is.

Well anyway, she went to the HOSPITAL ON SUNDAY!!! I'm thankful to report, however, that she didn't go because her vajay jay was falling out. No, No, it was something with her gallbladder or something but FOR A SECOND THERE I was really scared her

was in trouble. But she's all good and can continue on having millions of ugly babies that have a first name starting with J.

Last night our dodgeball team did not win the championship. Boo. But Spencer's team did so huzzah for them! Judging by the fact that it's 11:30 and he's still not at work, I'm going to guess that the celebrations lasted long into the night. I managed to stumble home at a reasonable hour, but I will still be spending the evening on my couch. Page Six and I are getting our Christmas tree tonight as well! 'tis the season!

Hey Tot....Here's a Toy

2009-12-07T12:44:00.003-05:00

Some pictures from last night....

Glee!

I totally shouted at former America's Next Top Model-er Celia

"Fiiiiiiiiierce!! You shoulda won!!!!" Even though she totally shouldn't have (Alison for the win).

And my favorite picture from the night....

I love it so much. I can't even.

6 Faux Pas to Pas the Time

2009-12-07T11:21:00.005-05:00

Welcome to Monday everyone. It's MY favorite, I'm sure it's your favorite too. Tonight is the big Dodgeball tournament and UGH I'm so tired. Last year my team was out of the tournament in literally 8 minutes. This year I'm hoping to last a little longer. We play More-O's team right off the bat and they done be ril good....so we'll see what happens. I have faith that my team can pull an upset. This weekend was great but went by SO fast! Friday there was some party hopping, Saturday was another party, and Sunday was bowling and then the Toys for Tots benefit. T4T was fun but for about a half hour during the party I was a total Debbie Downer.

It was too hot, too crowded, and I kept losing my friends. You would have been cranky too. I managed to pull it together though and made it to Monday in one pice. Well....almost one piece.

Faux Pas #1:

I'm wearing two different socks today. I couldn't find either's match this morning and didn't have the time to search. In my defense, however, they're both argyle. That has to count for something.

Faux Pas #2
Bitch, I don't need to be assulted with this fashion emergency first thing in the morning. I was already running late and then to see this? I mean, I don't even know what's going on! The top half is like an African Poncho and the bottom half is like paint splattered coveralls. I'm so confused...and so offended.

Faux Pas #3

I got this Facebook message this weekend. I do not know this girl. But how dare she insinuate I'm "easy not slutty?" I'm totally slutty! And "thank you for tonight?" Oh my....I wonder what I did to promote such gratitude. Wait...am I straight now? My mother will be so happy.

Faux #4

Sunday was the first day of our bowling league and it was a blast!! Seriously, despite the early start time (12:30 on a SUNDAY?!) we rocked it and had so much fun. I had the highest score in the first game (you're welcome) and the second game I was doing SO well. I took a picture so I had proof.

A 140 in the 8th frame? F'real?! Then in the 9th frame I got a spare. I couldn't believe it! 8/9 frames I had a mark! And then....the time ran out. WHAT?! Yeah, apparently in this league they turn off the lanes the MINUTE it hits 2:30. I was piiiiiiiiiiiiissed. Here I am, on track to get the best game of my life, and we'll never know what I ended up getting. Sigh. Total faux pas.

Faux Pas #5

There's a girl in my neighborhood who looks like the Beast from the 1993 tv series "Beauty and the Beast." This morning I could have sworn she was following me. It was a very frightening moment for 8:30 am.

Faux Pas # 6

Last night while watching tele with Page Six and the Boy, this gorgeous face came on the screen:

Amazing, right? He then proceeds to tell us that "Santa wants to give your girlfriend the best present ever - a pap smear." HOMO SAY WHAT? So random, so unexpected, so NOT okay. Boo on you gorgeous sir. For the full story and VIDEO, go to Page Six's blog here

Well I'm off to the gym. Too much pad thai, too much cheese, TOO much booze this weekend. Enjoy your Monday everyone.

TG, no seriously, TGIF

2009-12-04T16:42:00.003-05:00

Sue Sylvester, from bad...to worse.

Just cuz.

Wow, I am COUNTING down the minutes until I can leave for the day. For whatever reason this whole I've been so unmotivated. Maybe I have Senior-itis or Cabin Fever or whatever it's called. Should be a fun weekend ahead though. I need to finish making my Christmas cd and start getting myself in the spirit - it hasn't felt like the season at all!!

Our bowling league starts on Sunday. All of us had tshirts made with different types of alcohol as our "code names." Stella, Goose, Greyhound, etc. Mine was supposed to be Flirtini. You know, Flirtini!

HOWEVER, More-O mispelled the name when he gave the info to the printers so now my shirt will instead say... FLIRITINI. FLIRITINI. You know what that sounds like?

McFlurry. Exactly. Sigh. It will be okay *I GUESS*

Have a great weekend everyone. Don't hate. Celebrate.

Brian = Jenna?

2009-12-04T12:05:00.004-05:00

My friend Mikey likes to refer to me as "Jenna" sometimes. Of course he's insinuating that I'm like Jenna from 30 Rock which....isn't completely off base. Often while watching the show I see things that Jenna does and I'm all "oh, that's like me." or "Oh, that's something I'd say." But last night...ooh gurl last night...Jenna and I became one. Basically Jenna was pouting about something and wouldn't come out of her dressing room. Liz then said "fine Jenna, if you don't want to do the show I'm sure Jenny McCarthy is available."

Jenna: *GASP* "My NEMESIS?"

Only people like Jenna and myself would be smart enough to have a nemesis. I mean, right?

Jenna and I really know where it's at.

Try Not to Laugh

2009-12-04T00:30:00.001-05:00

This is what I was dying at on the treadmill the other day. I love it so much!!

Glee-Cap

2009-12-03T15:50:00.004-05:00

Some people I know had a porblem with last night's Glee, but I happened to really enjoy the episode. Sure it was one of the more serious episodes, but I laughed a lot, it had a great musical number, and the plot line moved along FINALLY providing some resolution to this stupid baby story line. A few Glee-lightful highlights:

1. Patches

Kurt: Peter Gellar - Glee Club second tenor 1988. Shortly after the yearbook came outer, Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man that sleeps outside of the library.
Quinn: Patches?
Kurt: Patches.
Britney: He barks at my mom.

I love you Britney!!

2. Ebony and Ivory

Showing all of the different clubs Rachel had joined was hilarious, but it was the Black Student Union that had me rolling.

3. At First...

I thought this was going to be a fun little song at first (Lily Allen's Smile) and while it sounded fine (I mean, kinda) the song didn't make sense in the context of what Rachel was trying to get across. She's wanting him to smile through tears but the song is like "when I see you cry I smile" - I just didn't get it.

4. "I can cry on demand"

I mean...can't we all?

5. "Get ready to sell....."

...some mattresses." Rachel said this so funny and it cracked me up how EXCITED everyone got at the thought of selling mattresses. But I mean, wouldn't you be?

6. JUMP!

Definitely the high point in the episode for me was when the kids filmed their commercials and sang "jump."

They were all just so excited!!!

Poor Artie couldn't jump on the mattresses because...you know, he's in a WHEELCHAIR.

My favorite was how Mercedes was just chillin' on the mattress at the end belting everything out. I think I enjoy watching her perform the most during the group numbers.

7. And the Oscar goes to...

Dayum Matt Morrison, acting the shit out of what he's been given. What an intense scene! About friggin time that this baby bump was revelaed as being fake!

8. Sue's Corner

Sue: "All I want is one day a year where I'm not assulted by fatties and uglies." Amen Sue. Amen.

9. Quinn for the Win

Quinn is amazing and I love her more and more as each episode passes. This scene with her and Sue was awesome and I love that she stuck it to Sue.

10. Smile....

Will Sue sabatoge the Glee Club's chances of winning? Will New Directions win sectionals? Will Will and Emma kiss? Find out next week in the FALL FINALE! I got to hear the songs that will be in the episode and Oh My Glee ya'll are going to fa reak. Can't wait!!

Simma Down Now

2009-12-03T10:15:00.002-05:00

After her successful SNL hosting, I started to hop on the Taylor Swift train. However, if she doesn't fix things soon, I'm jumping off again.

Taylor. You're talented (kinda). People love you. Your album is huge. Your singles are huge. You've pulled a Carrie Underwood and jumped over from country to pop music. So why why WHY are you acting surprised all the time? Surprised when you win awards, surprised when you're nominated for Grammy's, surprised when someone's grandma says they like you. I get the flattery of the nomination or award, I get being excited but being all "Oh mah gawd, I can't even BELIEVE I won a People's Choice Award!"

It's getting old. Like me.

I done be tired, ya'll!!

Eek!

2009-12-02T13:02:00.002-05:00

I gotsta get shoulder surgery, ya'll!!! January 12, I'm going under tha knife.

*sob*

Happy Birthday Britney!!!!

2009-12-02T11:19:00.005-05:00

Brit Brit!!! It's your birthday!!!

Naw girl, it is!!! Don't go actin' all surprised and shit. I just wanted to say happy birthday and to tell you that I'm really happy that you're in my life. Even though you're a little bit

okay, a LOT crazy, I still love you to pieces.

Girl, don't cry - I'm not getting THAT sentimental on you. Here - I got you a present.

Yay!!! Stuff from Rite Aid!! Your favorite!! I knew you'd like it.

See? Look at that smile. Oh sweetie, you know how to charm the pants of anyone, especially me! Anyway, I hope you have the happiest of birthday's and that you don't die this year. You did good in 2009, let's keep that trend going!!! Enjoy your day Britney Jean!!

Aw....that's a pretty girl....

Why You Wanna Test Mah Now, Part 2

2009-12-01T15:47:00.002-05:00

Oh helllllllllllll to the no.

So my day started to get a little better. I had an awesome lunch, the Italian called, the phones calmed down, the promise of margaritas were in my future, so I decided to go to the gym. Ran a little bit on the treadmill, then hopped on the elliptical for a long winter's nap. What to my wandering eyes did appear but Punky Brewster's E! True Hollywood Story....and eight tiny reindeer. Wait, no, scratch the reindeer.

Now I done LOVED me some Punky Brewster back in the day. Seriously. I was all "Punky Power" up in this bitch.

Thumbs up is right Soleil Moon Frye. So I'm sitting there enjoying when all of a sudden - BAM. Press Conference about these two weirdos.

Sigh. Why you wanna test mah now???!!!!

Thankfully, it didn't last too long and I was able to enjoy the rest of my show in peace.

BTDubs, do you guys remember the episode when they were playing hide and go seek and Cherry hid in the freezer and almost died?! That shit done be RIL SCURRY!!!

Right Cherry?

As an added bonus I'd like to include a picture of Heidi with Punky herself, Soleil Moon Frye.

Heidi, you're totally cooler than I am just because of this picture. Mad props.

Why You Wanna Test Mah Now?

2009-12-01T10:49:00.004-05:00

People. I don't work at a switch board. Please stop calling so much, I have things to do.

I am definitely on edge today, I don't know why. Little things just keep happening in my day and I'm tired and it's getting to me. I try to put my headphones on so I don't have to talk to anyone but SERS every time I do my boss comes out and needs something. It's like he's got a radar or something. ANNOYING. If one more person wants to get up in my biz I swear I'm just gonna...

To coordiante with my mood, there are a few things I keep hearing about today that I just couldn't care less about. Like these losers

or these weirdos.

or this freak of nature.

Oh Susan Gargoyle. Why you wanna test mah now? Deep breaths, deep breaths.

I would like to give a shout out to a lovely person in my life - miss Amanda R.

One of the funniest, kindest, and most loving people I know. She's a fantastic mother and an even better friend. Even though she hasn't updated her blog in months or emailed me but THAT'S OKAY. I love her still. :) Amanda! Happy Birthday!!! I hope it's a fantastic one. Let me know what it's like to turn 24!!

Oh I am about to freak. Seriously. I'm going to go carnival freak crazy on somebody today and scratch their eyes out.

Things I Learn at the Gym

2009-11-30T15:45:00.003-05:00

While running on the treadmill at the gym today, I learned something.

Watching a 3 minute montage of babies puking on America's Funniest Home Videos makes running VERY difficult. I literally had to jump off the treadmill I was laughing so hard.

I'm telling you people, it's the little things in life...

Homo Say What?

2009-11-30T13:43:00.001-05:00

Leonardo DiCaprio is 35??!!

Hot damn I feel old....

Monday Madness

2009-11-30T10:15:00.004-05:00

Dayum Monday, why you gotsta be so nasty to me?! After a couple of lovely days off I'm back to the daily grind. Yippee. I'm very happy to have a job but on days like today when everyone is in their post-Thanksgiving funk, I'm jealous of people who work from home.

While walking to work from the Subway I was stuck behind someone smoking. It happens, I hate it, whatevs. But then I noticed what he was smoking.
A pipe?? Really? A pipe. Do people still smoke those? I was so taken aback I couldn't stop staring at this man (note: not a pirate) walking down 49th street with a PIPE in his mouth. I would have been less shocked to have seen someone with a bong walking down the street. What a strange way to start my week.

I bought new pillows this weekend. It was quite the momentous occasion as I haven't bought new pillows in about ten years. However I need to learn how to sleep on them because my neck is KILLING me today.

How was everyone's Thanksgiving? My day was lovely - filled with a little of this

a little of this

and a whole lot of these two ladies.

My girls are SO good to me and I had the greatest time with them during Spanksgiving '09, EVEN THOUGH Kaka Kido hasn't read BriTunes in 2 weeks (blasphemy!)!!

My favorite thing about Spanksgiving (besides the naps) is the food. And this year's spread was the shiiiiiiit. I ate so much that I literally went into a food coma right after dinner and had to roll to the ground.

Seriously. Homo couldn't move. As it is though, food coma = successful Spanksgiving!!

Word spread over the weekend that my boyfriend and Greedy McWitherspoon broke up.

Their reps denied it and blah blah blah. Oh Jakey....

Why must you insist on denying your love for me??!! Le Sigh.....

Enjoy your Monday, biatches.

Greatest. Picture. Ever.

2009-11-27T10:13:00.002-05:00

The date: May 2007.

The scene: Brian's going away party.

The suspects: Brian (as Justin Timberlake) and Jenny (as Samantha Jones from Sex and the City).

The picture?

Amazing. Oh Jenny, the joy your face brings me in this picture.

Thanks to Heidi for the picture - greatest Thanksgiving gift EVER!!

Holiday Disappointment

2009-11-26T14:11:00.002-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! Just like last year, here I am live blogging from the day's festivities. Another year, another Macy's parade come and gone. I have to report though, a very disappointing fact. There was not, I repeat, NOT a performance from the Special Needs Color Guard of America.

Last year they were the highlight of my parade. Inspirational choreographed wonders. I wonder if they weren't invited or...I dunno. But today, my heart is heavy.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

I Am Thankful

2009-11-25T12:00:00.005-05:00

Ah, Thanksgiving. Time to think back on your life and everything you're thankful for. I, personally, am thankful for many many things and if you can't express that thanks at Thanksgiving, when can you?!

1. Glee

Glee, when you first came into my life, I knew that we would be a great fit. You never disappoint (well, except for "Thong Song," WTF was THAT?!) and I look forward to a wonderful future with you.

2. Argyle

Damn Argyle, why you so good to me?! You done look RIL good on me and walk that fine line between classic and trendy. I love you somethin' fierce.

3. My family

As "fabulous" as I am, I know they love me til the end and I'm so thankful to have them in my life. My favorite thing is sitting around drinking wine with them, just cracking up (well, until we hit too many glasses of wine and either fight or cry, but that's inevitable, really). Big ups to Ma who reads the blog every day and let's me call her when I'm bored at work and need someone to talk to about nothing.

4. Chipotle

Chipotle, I'm so thankful for you. If it was socially acceptable to have a burrito bowl for every meal, I would.

5. Lady Gaga

A year ago you wouldn't have caught me EVER giving thanks for the Gaga, but she has warmed my heart with her bad romance, hit me with her disco stick, and just made me dance. Amazeballs.

6. My friends

To have found people you can laugh with, love with, and enjoy life with is the greatest gift. I'm so lucky to have these people in my life and am thankful for them every day. Well except when they say I'm turning 30. Then I'm not very thankful. But other than that I am.

7. America's Funniest Home Videos

Still my favorite show. It's the gift that keeps on giving.

8. Zac Efron's Abs

I mean, can you even? Not only are they amazing to look at but they also inspire me to get to the gym and work off the Chipotle I consumed earlier in the day. Zac, one day you WILL be mine even if I have to roofie you, just wait.

9. Dodgeball

Breaks my finger? Sure. Pops my shoulder out of the socket? Absolutely. Drama? Always. But Dodgeball has been such a fantastic outlet and hilarious moment in my life I'm so thankful to be part of it and to have met all of the amazing people I've met. Even the ones I want to punch in the face every now and then.

10. Readers Like You

As always, thanks to everyone who reads BriTunes. I really love having this creative outlet and it's nice getting the love and positive feedback. Happy Thanksgiving and don't think about all the calories you're consuming!!

You're Joking, Right?

2009-11-25T10:21:00.004-05:00

Adam Glambert was on the early show this morning to discuss his SCANDALOUS performance on the AMA's. I was struck by the title they chose to post:

"Straight Talk" with Adam Lambert? Isn't that a tad....ironic? Don'tcha think? Its like raaaaaaiiiiiiin on your wedding day. It's a freee riiiiiide when you've already paid

It's the good adviiiiiice that you just didn't take...and who would've thought

It figgurs......

Sorry, I got a bit distracted. It's the day before Thanksgiving - what do you expect from me?

CBS then started showing some of the "offensive" moments from Adam's performance and they had the biggest blur I've ever seen around them.

I mean, what is that even? It was a kiss between Adam and his keyboardist. It's not like he was peeing on him. People just need to take a deep breath and relax. I was more offended by who Adam chose to make out with. Nasty ass keyboardist? Nein. Might I make a suggestion?

Sigh. Kris Allen. I miss you so. Too bad I don't care enough about your music to buy your album!

Leave it to...YIKES!

2009-11-25T09:31:00.002-05:00

Clicking through TMZ this morning, I came across this little diddy:

I thought to myself - "hey that's the kid from Leave it to Beaver. Is he the one who grew up to be kind of cute?" I knew there was one child star, couldn't remember who, that grew up to be a bit of a hottie. I came to discover, quite quickly in fact, that this person was NOT the Beave.

EEEEEEYIKES! Where'd you get those teeth, England?

For the record, I was thinking of Peter Billingsley from "A Christmas Story."

I'd totally buy him a Red Rider, Rover, whatever bebe gun. Yum!!

Bohemian Muppet-ry

2009-11-25T01:10:00.001-05:00

I mean, come on. Is there anything more brilliant than this?!

I mean...I can't Even

2009-11-24T13:32:00.000-05:00

Oh come ON.

Really? Really? Ugh. I hate him.

My Chicken Casear wrap is awesome, by the way. Can Taylor Lautner say the same? Probably not.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

2009-11-24T11:38:00.004-05:00

DAVID BECKHAM HAS ASTHMA!!!!!!

OMG, OH MY GOD, OMGLEE DAVID BECKHAM USED AN INHALER AT HIS SOCCER GAME THE OTHER NIGHT!! Alert the presses, stop drop and roll, and if you have a pacemaker don't use it around a microwave. Frickin la dee da. I can't even.

In REAL breaking news....check this out.

Last night at Dodgeball, my team (Stonewall) played the first place team, Eagle. Now please notice the standings.

Yes, my team is in 14th place. We try (most weeks) but sometimes we just can't get it up. Last night was our second time playing Eagle (we went 0-3 the first time). After they SPANKED us the first game I was like "oh, here we go." Well then by some miracle we won the second game. The third game rolls around and it's looking dead even. We get someone out on their side, they get two people out on ours. It's 3 - 4 and someone on Stonewall catches the ball, bringing me in to play. I was pissed and ready to kick some ass. They get someone out. We get someone out. It's 2 and 2. The crowd is chanting our name: "Stonewall. Stonewall. Stonewall." A ball is thrown at me and I catch it, the crowd screams and my team rushes on the court. What I didn't realize was that while the ball was being thrown at me, the other person on my team got the girl out on their team. Yes, that's right. I CAUGHT THE WINNING BALL!

I'm only so happy about it because A) Our team barely wins and B) I'm AWFUL. So for me to catch the winning ball...well...I'm pretty happy. :)

MRI today, date tonight, half day and Glee tomorrow....it's gonna be a good week!

It's My Party, I'll Blog if I Want To

2009-11-23T16:32:00.002-05:00

Oh hey you. Come on in, welcome to my party.

My birthday turned out to be a fantastic success and might I just say it was the first birthday in a long time where I haven't cried on my birthday. I don't know why I cry on my birthday. I'm usually either A) sad about growing older B) overwhelmed by the kindness from my friends or C) all of the above. But this year I kept my emotions in check and just had a fantastic time! The girls were so good to me at work during the day, I had dinner with 12 of my closest friends and then my party. Oh wow, my party. I'd close almost 100 people came over the course of the night and we all had such a fantastic time.

We had our own little area sectioned off and there were drink specials all night so everyone was feeling great.

I had asked the DJ to play "Gaga, Britney, Beyonce, and 80's" and OMG did he deliver. Every song was amazing and when he started to play Glee songs? I died. At the end of the night he played like, five in a row and we had a giant sing-a-long to "Lean on Me." Amazing.

It really touched me to see all the people that came out to celebrate my birthday. You know who your true friends are at times like that...

Again, the outpouring of love that day was just amazing and thank you everyone who called, emailed, Facebooked, or simply thought about me on Friday. I feel the love!

Hot Mess Baby Tonight

2009-11-23T10:41:00.005-05:00

People, I done be CRAZY at work today so the Birthday recap will have to wait a bit. In the meantime though, let's talk American Music Awards. Obviously hot topic of converstaion today is Adam Lambert's performance of "Let me Outgay you...." I mean..."For Your Entertainment."

Hot Mess #1

Adam's new album is amazing. It really is. It's fun, mature, entertaining, has depth, emotion, etc. While I was never Adam's #1 fan on American Idol, I think he could be a great artist. But that performance last night...I mean...what WAS that?? I get that you're a big Mo Adam, but was making out with your keyboardist and groping your dancers really the best thing for your first performance of this song? Ai Dios Mio...I just didn't get it.

Hot Mess #2

Remember when Whitney Houston could sing? Poor thing last night S-TRUGGLED through her song, but she got there. I think the audience was more applauding the fact that she wasn't dead than they were her actual singing.

Hot Mess #3

Princess RiRi, WHAT are you wearing? WHY did you sound like that? WHAT happened to you?! Once upon a time it was Rihanna's performance that everyone was raving about but after last night...I dunno...

Hot Mess #4

Miss Janet, you ARE nasty!! What in Robin Hood are you wearing? And will you ever sing live again? Alas, only time will tell.

Hot Mess #5

Oh Kelly. Oh....oh....Kelly. I just...can't...I....eek.

AMAZING MESS #1

Without going too PerezHilton on your ass, let me just (yet again) profess my love for Lady Gaga. I'm just amazed at how this bitch can turn it out EVERY performance I see of her. Last night was no exception and Page Six can attest to my freaking out during her singing "Speechless." She does things to me inside.

And this?

I can't even express my excitement.

Donna Martin Graduates

2009-11-20T16:21:00.002-05:00

Tori Spelling just Tweeted me Happy Birthday.

I saw a Tweet she did that said it was Pasty (her nanny)'s birthday and I said to her "It's my birthday too! Donna Martin Graduates!" She then tweeted me back.

THIS BIRTHDAY ROCKS!

Happy Birthday Betch

2009-11-20T10:52:00.005-05:00

I'd like to wish some very special people a birthday today.

Ming Na Wen (Mike Risk anyone?)

Dan Byrd who makes me laugh every week on "Cougar Town"

And of course the wonderful and amazing Joel McHale so I'm soooo in lurve with.

Hmm.....I think that's everyone celebrating a Birthday today....oh wait. Except for THIS GUY:

Yes, the rumors are true. It is indeed my bday. I am NOT, however, turning 30. I don't know why my friends think that's funny but apparently they don't know my issue with aging. :) It has been a lovely day so far though with many, many friends sending me Facebook messages and I've definitely felt the love. I even got a few unexpected phone calls which just warmed my heart. Amanda, I'm happy to hear that you're alive and I LURVED hearing your voice. Thanks for the message. My girls at work decorated my desk with candy and hooked me up with a Chipotle gift card. Um....YUM! Dinner with the besties and a big party tonight - should be an epic night! Plus I'm wearing an amazing new sweater

and I look hot. Done and done.

For some reason though, the celebrites in my life feel the need to play with my emotions. Case in point:

GAGA!! UGH!! Her tickets sold out last week in 3 minutes so they added two new shows at Radio City. We tried again this morning and NOTHING!!!! What kind of a freakin' birthday present is THAT Gaga??!!! Boo on you. AND THEN

OPRAH??!! NOOOOOO!!!!! It was announced last night that at the end of Oprah's 25th season she'll go off the air. I'm devastated. I remember a time when I used to watch her EVERY DAY. Seriously that bitch was DVR'd up the wahoo. For my birthday in 2004 I recieved the best present ever, her 20th Anniversary DVD. The DVD had its own chair at my party. 'twas amazing.

Thanks to all of those who have wished me a happy birthday. It's nice to feel loved. :)

Glee-Cap

2009-11-19T12:38:00.004-05:00

This is how committed I am to you, the loyal readers of BriTunes. Despite the fact that I didn't get home until 1:30 in the morning from a very ego-bruising game night, I knew that I needed to watch Glee in order to get up a Glee-cap today for you. Also I didn't want an email from Jeremiah and Stephanie at 3pm going "Where is our Glee-cap??!!!" As it was though, "Ballads" ended up being another fantastic episode. While not as core-shaking as last week's episode was, I feel like there were plenty of amazing moments and any episode that moves the plot along is a welcome one in my book. Some highlights.

1. Oh Britney Britney

We all know that Britney is amazing. I just can't believe how much I hated her in the beginning and now my love for her runs so deep. I think she may even be my favorite character. The two moments she had in the beginning were brill.

Shue: "Ballad. Who knows what this word means?
Brit: "It's a male duck.
Shue pulls out the hat
Shue: I'm going to pair you off and I want you to pick a ballad to sing to your partner. Now I put all your names in a hat.
Brit: I bet the duck's in the hat."

I heart you Britney.

2. My....Endless Faces.

In addition to sounding amazing, Mr. Shue's faces to Rachel in "Endless Love" were amazing. SO funny.

3. Terri Makes a Funny

I'll admit, I haven't missed Will's wife, but last night she had me giggling with this line:

Terri: "Listen you little psycho, this is Will's wife and if I don't get enough sleep my antidepressents won't work and then I'll go crazy and KILL YOU."

4. I'll Stand By You

Finn was so cute singing this song and the part where he was singing to the sonogram was amazing. Finn's mom also had me laughing: "Finn, are you singing to a sonogram?

5. Britney is amazing, Part 2

Kurt's crush on Finn is totally cute and I can totally relate. I've been known to fall in love with a straight guy before (Lance Gordon, anyone?) but I was dying after this line.

Kurt: "Okay, it's true, I'm totally in love with Finn. I have been since the first time we met. I don't know why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he's cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is 'rainbows.'"

6. Don't Stand...Don't Stand...Don't Stand So Close to ME

How great was Mr. Shue's mash-up? This man can SANG! Even better?

7. Face Face Beauty Face

Will: Rachel, do you understand the message that I'm trying to get across?
Rachel: Yes. It means that I'm young and it's hard for you to stand close to me.

Will: Sigh. Emma, will you help me out here? Is that the message you got?

Emma: You're a very talented performer.

8. It's Just...

Rachel singing to Will in the back seat was so brill. I appreciate that they didn't have her sing the whole song as we understood what she was doing with those few lines. Will: "Children have to sit in the backseat." Rachel: "Children under 7."

9. Mercedes Gets It

I enjoyed Mercedes telling Puck to leave Quinn alone. Mercedes: "Youre the baby daddy, but Finn's the father." It'll be interesting to see how the reveal that Puck is the daddy goes.

10. Why Hello Finn Hudson

Finn freaking out in the bathroom was so endearing. Kurt: "Just remember the power of the ballad." Finn: "I have to go, they'll think I'm pooping."

11. Mom Jeans

Quinn's parents kicking her out was sad (except for that shrill crying from Quinn - eek!) but I was more touched by Finn's mom taking Quinn in. Who knew there was an adorable character behind those mom jeans?

12. Advice For Us All

Will: "I know it's not always easy for you Rachel. And I know there are some things about yourself that you'd like to change. But you should know there is some boy out there that who is going to like you for everything you are. Including those parts about you that you don't even like. Those'll be the parts of you he likes the most." AW!

13. When You're Not Strong

Loved the last song. Loved the stripped down nature of it. And LOVED Quinn and Finn's interactions with the Glee club members while they were singing it. Good for Artie for having another solo. ANd GOOD LORD Mercedes can BLOW!

This show is amazing. Touches me more than a show has in a VERY long time and I know that I'm not alone in thinking that. Yay Glee! Glee kids hooray!